The Chicago MaroonAll The News Fit To SlantVolume 89, Number 41 u i«r, ,, rl- !_ The University of Chicago 1980 The Chicago Maroon Tuesday, April 1, 1980The campus today joe cnriSTmasUniversity nukes selfBy Stagg FieldLeaving Three Mile Island littlemore than a glittering memory,the worst nuclear accident in histo¬ry occurred last Friday at the Un-iversiy of Chicago.With the acceptance of the Col¬lege's 3000th student, the College“simply reached that critical massthat we’d been trying for,’’ and theaccident occurred, according toHanna Gray, president of theformer University.Reached in her lead-walled of¬fice beneath the site of the formerRegenstein Library, Gray had lit¬tle additional comment.“A part of the development ofthat entire matter was the result ina sense of a accident of transitionand under other circumstances wewouldn’t have had it,’’ Gray said.Attempts to reach former presi¬dent John T. Wilson to verify Gray’s statement proved unsuc¬cessful as did similar efforts tocontact the 8000 former students,and the 3000 former staff membersfor comment. It was hoped thatfaculty members could be reachedas most of them were on leave, orat least not teaching any classesthis quarter.Sources were also concerned asto the whereabouts of the 65.000former Hyde Park residents.Fred Brooks, former director ofCollege admissions, was reachedin safety at his new job as admis¬sions chief at Harvard University.“I kicked and screamed about thiscritical mass business for twoyears, and when 1 saw that Mrs.Gray was serious about it. I decid¬ed the best thing to do was to getout — fast.”The explosion occurred shortlyafter 9 am when the new student and her family backed their ’77 redImpala station wagon into thePierce Tower parking lot. Beforethe student could even unload herstereo, the explosion began. Withinfive minutes, most of the formercampus resembled a ball of moltenlimestone.Two cheerier views of the acci¬dent were advanced by D.J.R.Bruckner, former vice-presidentfor public affairs, and local author-historian David Lowe.“We were the home of the firstself-sustained nuclear reaction.”said Bruckner, “and with this we’dlike to think we’ve come full cir¬cle.”Author Lowe said that he woulduse the accident as a starting pointfor a sequel to his popular bookLost Chicago. Gray quits, AnnLanders new presBy Andrew PandererIn a surprise move yesterday,President Hanna Holborn Gravsaid that she was resigning her po¬sition as president this June aftercompleting two years in the of¬fice.“Enough is enough.” Gray saidas she disappeared into an Admin¬istration Building elevator.In an equally surprising move.Dr. Daniel X. Freedman, chair¬man of the psychiatry department,’announced that Ann Landerswould be the University’s eleventhpresident.“I met this lady at a cocktailparty and she was just great,”Freedman said.Asked if the appointment of anon-academic as president was outof the ordinary. Ken Dam. provost-designate, snapped, “Who said shewasn’t an academic? How manyencyclopedias have you written,buster?”Landers, reached at her Lake Shore Drive condominium said,“There’s gonna be some changesmade, baby. Don’t try to talk to meabout qualifications, honey. I’vegot more honorary degrees thanJohn Hope Franklin.“We gotta work on image. Imageis the key thing. Look, people alltalk about how weird the people atChicago are. Well I don’t care whatpeople are, as long as they can bethemselves. Do your own thing. Toeach his own. I always say. A stitchin time saves nine. Talk it overwith your clergyman.“Let me give you some advice,toots: If you have anymore ques¬tions. DUt 'em in writing and sendthem to me at the Sun-Times.Hey, gotta go tape Donahue. Signme. Coronated.”When asked for their comments,the three surviving former presi¬dents offered positive commentsand advice.Reached in one of his Ellis Ave-Continued on p. 6In with the newProfessors leave Regenstein en masse after Gray s announcement Professors to teachBy “Tooth” Dick KayeIn what is certain to be a hotly-debated decision. President Grayannounced Monday that startingnext fall, a major effort will bemade to include “teaching" intothe University community as a“more or less important, althoughby no means essential, aspect ofthe learning and curricular experi¬ence.”“I’m aware that the educationalprogressiveness which teachingimplies will offend some facultymembers,” said Gray, “but I’mconvinced that the University cancope with radical ideas so long asthose ideas do not intrude upon thefundamental purpose of our insti¬tution.”“Which,” Gray added, “is agreat institution.”Gray maintained that a return to teaching was necessitated by whatshe described as “dangerous over¬crowding in the University li¬braries.” Library staff membersrecently had to create an emer¬gency, tent-like addition to the Re¬genstein library in lieu of facultyand student over-crowding whichreportedly had defied city regula¬tions during the winter quarter’slast weeks.“It was either establish a newwing for research at the Regen¬stein Library or somehow encour¬age our faculty to leave the Li¬brary and explore other parts ofthe University community. Finan¬cially, the former was totally un¬feasible to the University trust¬ees.”“Besides, Gray added, “there isa growing and disturbing numberof faculty husbands and wives searching for their spouses, a phe¬nomenon I’m not entirely willing toignore.”Gray refused to answer inquiriesas to the whereabouts of her ownhusband, history professor CharlesGray, who last week was still re¬ported missing in an area loosely-described by Library head StanleyMcElderrv as ‘somewhere be¬tween volumes on King Ecbert andoral histories of the proto-Fabians.”“A part of the development ofthat ... oh. just ‘skip it.’”Meanwhile, faculty membersreacted with shock and consi¬derate indignation to Gray’s newsthat she would reintroduce teach¬ing to the University.“I refuse — or rather, we abso¬lutely refuse — to even considerContinued on p. 6Theater plans meltBy Maisie DillerThe University’s announcement last weekto construct a historical wax museum in lieuof a new theater building has drawn a main¬ly negative response from students and fac¬ulty. "The heat is on,” said Vice-Presidentfor Public Affairs D. J. R. Bruckner, "andthings are more than a little sticky.”Bruckner’s statement came in response toCourt Theatre’s allegation that the Univer¬sity is "more interested in attractingtourists and national attention than it is ingood theater.”Court has long been under pressure fromthe University to “juice up” its schedule nel its entertainment funds into more com¬mercially viable amusements, like the waxmuseum and the proposed Harper Hot TubHut to be built with funds originally raisedfor a natatorium."I’ve always felt that if the University re¬ally wanted a new theater, they would havehelped raise the cash years ago,” said Ru-dall. "We are particularly appalled by thislatest development, however, becausewe’ve made lately what we consider realcompromises in our artistic integrity. Wehad felt for sure they (the administration)would have been bowled over by our an¬nounced schedule for the summer: Court re¬vivals of the Neil Simon comedies PlazaSuite and California Suite and a staging ofWax dummieswith less from the theater of the absurd andmore from the theater of the burlesque.“We’re not pandering to anybody,” Courtdirector Nicholas Rudall told The Maroonlast summer when it refused to house themusical Sugar Babies in spite of requestsfrom University higher-ups.That musical, starring Mickey Rooney,opened instead at the Arie Crown Theaterand went on to smashing success on Broad¬way. That prompted the University to chan¬ the soft-core porn film Toot Sweet, but ap¬parently no one paid any attention.”The controversy notwithstanding, theWax Museum project is progressing. To bebuilt from funds provided by the JohnsonFoundation of Racine, Wisconsin, the muse¬um will memorialize such University not¬ables as Robert Hutchins, Enrico Fermi, theGreat Ideas (in a one hundred-piece tab¬leaux), Milton Friedmon, and Leopold andLoeb. Letters to the EditorShoreland salonTo the Editor:We must voice a strong objection to yourarticle “Up the Gilded Academic Ladder”(Maroon, March 12, 1980) in which you sotactlessly and crudely suggest that we, theResident Masters of the Shoreland Hotel,have been allowed by the University to livein an "extravagant” and "recklessly waste¬ful fashion” in our apartment complex hereat the Shoreland, and that we have estab¬lished a “brutal student caste system re¬miniscent of the worst days of South Africanapartheid.” Such “investigative journal¬ism” is totally antithetical to the Universi¬ty’s fine academic aims, is moreover dis¬gusting, and besides, your article waschock-full of a number of inaccuracies.First of all, the article is wrong about thefinancial source as well as the nature of anumber of our many beautiful possessions.The Italian harpsichord was not purchasedby the University. President Gray, on one ofher many deserved voyages through Mar¬shall Fields, picked it up for us with her ownmoney. The same is true of the Grecian urn(wrongly dated as 18th century in yourpiece), the marble tennis courts, the butter¬nut Norwegian dining room table, the FrankLloyd Wright single-vehicle car port, theChippendale ovens, the music room datingfrom 14th century Berlin, the miniature oak-wood butler’s table, the cherry red Water¬ford crystal goblets, and the first edition ofHobbe’s Leviathan, a collector’s edition,mind you. Our French-tile, thirteen-roomkitchen was, along with the four microwaveovens, purchased by the University, but thiswas only after a large number of studentrooms were eliminated from the over-allShoreland plan.Finally, we would not label “brutal” asystem whereby students are asked, if theywish to remain at the Shoreland, to help inthe cleaning, maintenance, decoration,painting, and fortification of the ResidentMaster’s apartment. It is good experiencefor both undergraduates and graduates, al¬ lowing students to keep their minds off theirwork for a while as well as off the ratheratrocious interior design of the studentquarters here. The last problem is one ofdeep and abiding concern to us. Now thatthe East Wing of our own apartment is near¬ly completed, we plan on offering a numberof helpful hints-perhaps even entire classes-one how to apply imaginative decoratorideas to one’s room, however piddling.Last but certainly not least, second-yearDivinity School student Lucille Dawidowitzdid not enter Michael Reese Hospital uponeating a minted poached oyster in the Resi¬dent Masters apartment. What Lucille-resther soul-ate was “Mango Mouse,” a cleverbut risky culinary concoction we’re still try¬ing to perfect.Ronald and Palma Locke, authors ofA Survey History of the Oven,Cooking Without a Budget, andDecorating the Ivory Tower.Resident Masters, The ShorelandHotel By the Lake.Enough AlreadyTo the Editor:Afghanistan, Iran, Iowa — oppressedworkers everywhere ask, "How muchlonger can this go on?” We say, FOREV¬ER! ! Today we are continuing on the con¬tinual possibility of seizing the historicalmoment bequeathed to us by our revolution¬ary forerunners who, mistaken only in theirprogramme, left us behind, only to followout as we chant our cry to the advanced ac¬tuality of class nature and social ripeness.Analysis follows critique; the masses de¬mand just that, and we, the holders of thisjuncture between historical form and ad¬vanced craft, appeal to rhetoricians, peti¬tions, and electricians everywhere to join usin oUr struggle.Signed, 11 Sparts,10 Ladies Dancing,9 Pipers piping, etc.Students and Staff:THE UCKARATE CLUBwill offer aFree Introductory ClassFriday, April 4 at6:30 PM in theIda Noyes Dance RoomALL ARE WELCOME U of COuting ClubMeeting April 2, 7:30 P.M.John Kusel from National OutdoorLeadership School will be showing slidesFREE from their programs in Wyoming andAlaska.7:30 P.M. Ida Noyes LibraryClimbing Practice: Devil's LakeClimbing Trip April 11-13No instruction offers. Si 5 DepositDevils Lake, WisconsinCall Peg Dordal 753-4912NEW CLASSES AT HILLELMOM MVSbegin nine4 PR II, 147:'M) P. M. THI STOin IN |l WISH TR\IMTIONStii«K of K\<‘tM|iliir Siiiric- friuii llic Kililc.Talmud. Midra-h. Medieval anil lln*iili<l.ilcraturc.IVacIn r: Dlt./AM Kl, M.KINldxlsd ivsbegin ni msAPRIL <>7:M) P. M. MMMOMDKS \\l> N \< HM\NIOK.S:IMIll.OsOIMIH \l lss| Ks IN TIIK F.V1*1. \\ VITON OF I MF. I. \W . ikm.wlril^-of I Irlirru I Iclpf ill lI'. a. lii r: l»rof,^or JOSF.F STF.KNPASSOVER SERVICESTUESDAY, APRIL 1 - WEDNESDAY. APRIL 2-Yavneh (Orthodox) 9:15a.m.7:00p.m. Yavneh (Orthodox) 9:15 a.m.upstairs Minvan <Conservative) 10:00a.m. Upstairs IVTinVan (Conservative! 10:00a.m2—the'Chicago Maroon, You Fool, Tuesday, April 1, 1980 BBSHither & YonGlenn Miller OrchestraFriday, April 25U.C. Staff, Faculty, Alums - $12.00 — U.C. Students - $5.00Tickets at R.C. Box OfficeFriday, April 4 and Saturday, April 58:30 P.M.Reynolds Club Theatre753-3581$2.50 general admission; $1.50 discountThere will be a discussion of the play after each performanceCourt Theatre presentsMETAMORPHOSIS,Bv Fran/ Kafka Directed By Wernerkrieglstei By “Doc” GlocknerHarvard University faculty membersvoted this month to further modify under¬graduate course distribution requirementsat that school. According to Harvard presi¬dent Derek Bok, students will now be re¬quired to take what he dubbed a “commoncore” of courses in each of four main sub¬ject areas: the biological sciences, socialsciences, physical sciences, and humani¬ties. Students will be required to completethe core within their first two years ofstudy.Bok hailed the new requirements as “anunprecedented breakthrough in educationalconcepts. By taking this step, Harvard hasagain demonstrated its commitment to in¬tellectual progress by daring to make im¬portant innovations in its educational pro¬gram without waiting for other schools tomake the first move.”The Harvard reforms were widely report¬ed by the national media, particularly theNew York Times, which issued a specialsection to mark the occasion, and News¬week magazine, which ran a cover story en¬titled “Harvard: 300 years of UnparalleledLeadership.”In the wake of Harvard’s announcementof its plans for curriculum reform, severalother Ivy League colleges were reportedlystudying similar moves.More than half of the 35,000 students at theUniversity of Illinois at Urbana-Champaignhave signed a petition calling on that Uni¬versity’s administrators to create a moreacademically oriented atmosphere at theirschool.Among other steps, the petition demandsthe abolition of fraternities and sororities,abolition of coed dorms and dating, a ban onliquor; and drugs, and the conversion of theschool’s 5 gymnasia into a library.“We have come to realize that educationis not an opportunity that can be taken light¬ly, and that we have a duty as responsiblecitizens to make the best possible use of our four years here,” said petition drive chair¬man Gregory March. “Immorality and fri¬volity have no place in the modern universi¬ty because they detract from the seriousbusiness of learning. Through our efforts,we hope to tear evil out of our lives and fos¬ter the growth of learning and culture. Webelieve our actions will set a standard forthe behavior of students at other institutionsas well, March continued.Student groups from Arizona State Uni¬versity, Indiana University, Harvard, andNorthwestern have already expressed inter¬est in the proposals made by the U. of I. stu¬dents.It was unknown whether March’s propos¬al would also include the introduction ofclasses or textbooks at the downstatecampus.Eleven University of Wisconsin studentswere trampled to death last week as a crowdof 15,000 battled for seats at a performanceby political star John Anderson.Despite the mishap, Anderson’s appear¬ance proceeded as scheduled. While cam¬paign workers cleared the mangled bodiesfrom the aisles and entranceways, Ander¬son led the crowd in a spirited rendition ofthe school’s fight song. “On, Wisconsin,”and then launched into his theme song, “TheNew Politics.” Other campaign workerssold John Anderson look-alike wigs andcopies of Doonesbury cartoons to the enthu¬siastic crowd.Anderson, who claims to be a Republicancandidate for President, was visiting theMadison campus to seek votes in today’sWisconsin Presidential primary. AlthoughAnderson eloquently refused to comment onthe incident, several of his staff membersexpressed concern that the loss of 11 voterscould prove crucial in a tight primary con¬test. “We re hoping that they were Reaganmen,” one said reflecting the pervasive op-tomism which has allowed the Andersoncamp to maintain its spirits through a stringof more than 15 straight primary defeats.NEW 2-drawer files S59.00NEW 6-ft. folding tables $49.00ddauh equipmentIf KAMI & supply co.8600 COMMERCIAL AVENUEOPEN MON.-FRI.8:30-5:00SATURDAYSRE 4-21 11 9:00-3:00-SfWM TIELESc/^-MART/mm palACANAMR TiftEE BOOK5 i WROTE DufLi/VG WR.HM6 SREAK(CO By F ei0Pri-DT)WHM'S THE DIFFEREDr\uro)Bia&RA?H'/:MYSI&UlFlt-R AMD ITSUNLIMITED TENSIONROW TJ THINK aimiT /ME S/Mfr E THOUGHTSMM?£ PiffJrjfljmiGimm TtiE RED A/VD y£UD\A/ Boons RFc/ffSfrom A VlE^JESL KITCHENSeminary Coop Bookstoref?f7 S. l/W/VERWY- M'TA 1 jc-9-F * 30-? *5 //-?The Chicago Maroon, You Fool, Tuesday, April 1, 1980—3lios. But this early socialist consciousnesswanes as his star fades. To salvage hissagging fortunes in the movies, he takeson a second career under a different lime¬light. The transition proves remarkably-successful: he veers his political stancetowards the neolithic and is elected thegovernor of a populous state. After eightyears of playing second banana in the po¬litical arena, he becomes restless andlusts after the starring role. The film, for¬tunately, ends here with the hero, carry¬ing a big stick, strolling into the proverbi¬al sunset. Ronald Reagan, with the aid ofmakeup and other special effects, gives aremarkable impersonation of the hero asa young man. He is even more astonishingin later scenes where, without seeming ef¬fort, he feigns senility. Jane Wyman, smil¬ing as bitterly as ever, plays the hero'scompliant wife. (With nods to Lady Mac¬beth.) Both performances understandablyare wooden and stilted. Milton Friedman,the TV star, makes a hilarious cameo ap¬pearance as the candidate's economic ad¬visor. Reportedly, a spat between the starand his director led to the tentative end¬ing. A sequel, however, is being contem¬plated. Presented by Students for LongEnduring Economy and Politics(SLEEP). Five dollar donation is request¬ed, although 70 year olds posing as 50 yearolds get in free. Tomorrow at 6 and 9 inStuart 122 Mr. Reagan is scheduled tomake a surprise appearance. —PGA Doll's House (Joseph Losey, 1973):Losey's fascination with the politics ofpower finds a natural home in Ibsen'sfamous didactic drama. The play, afterall, is an earlier variant of Losey's TheServant. Norwegian housewife, Nora,with the help of a blackmailer, emergesfrom the cocoon of servitude and securityas an iron butterfly. The sympathy be¬tween the director and the playwright, un¬fortunately, extends to excessive dullnesswhen both strain to make the point. Butthis fault can be overlooked, since itcomes at the end and only briefly. Themood of the drama is enhanced consider¬ably by Losey's customary feel for claus¬trophobic interior. Fonda delivers a finefluttery performance, although at timesshe seems more southern Californian thanNorwegian. The uniformly excellent supporting cast includes David Warner, Del-phine Seyrig, and Edward Fox. Tomorrowat 7:15 and 9:30 in Quantrell. Doc, $1.—TSTwo English Girls (Francois Truffaut,1976): An investigation of early modernmorals involving a young Frenchman(Jean-Pierre Leaud) and two English sis¬ters (Stacey Tendeter and Kika Mark¬ham). Leaud's innocence weighs heavily,but it cannot save him; Truffaut's richstory embraces complication, but cannotsave us. Ah, the petit bourgeois — theylead unhappy lives, non? Thursday at 7:15and 9:30 in Quantrell. Doc; $1.50. — OFNorth by Northwest (Alfred Hitchcock,1959): Self-assured, but self-absorbed,Cary Grant is wanted for murder. What'sworse, everybody thinks he's either hallu¬cinating or lying. Poor Cary was an adver¬tising executive until the day some enemyspies told him he was their enemy; andnot the police, his lawyer, or even hismother will help. So, he becomes a spy.This is Hitchcock's most acclaimed self¬parody and one of his best films. It oscil¬lates quickly between humor and sus¬pense, keeping the audience asdisoriented as Grant. Crop-dusting planesbecome ominous killers, dried-up corn¬fields turn into hideouts, and an old beat-up truck is transformed into a getawaycar. Despite Hitchcock's eccentric imag¬ery, the film's tension lets up only momen¬tarily. Beneath every humorous event liessome backstabbing motivation. Thursdayat 8:30 in the Law School Auditorium.LSF. $1.50. - ASThe Flying Dutchman (Sander D. Millstone,1966): Doc, continuing its omnipresentsearch for great auteurs and having depleted the cinema of its mediocre ones, isbringing us episodes of this obscuremid 60s TV show. This installment presents the show's premise. WW I flying aceDutch is born again and drops religiousContinued on p. 9Carpenter Constructs Gooey BogThe Bog by John Carpenterby Many R. SeriousThat most irrepressible and maniac ofyoung Hollywood directors, John Carpenter(Halloween), has come out with yet anothershocker while we were still recovering — atany rate our stomachs were still recovering— from the last. It's called The Bog and con¬cerns a certain California city terrorized bya highly mobile and maniacal mud slide, ac¬companied at each appearance by ominousand chilling music for toy piano, comb, andtissue paper by that same endlessly inven¬tive Mr. Carpenter.Originally intended for Stanley Kubrick,the project was turned over to Carpenter byproducer Roger Corman when Kubrick in¬sisted that to achieve the proper effect inthis existential allegory of man's emptiness,inadequacy, and boredom in the face of theindomitable and incomprehensible cosmos,he would have to present the dialogue against a blank screen with specially con¬structed quadrophonic (and very, veryloud) Dolby equipment.The main characters of the story are anerstwhile baby-sitter and punk-rocker(played by P. J. Soles) whose blinding smileand gym shoes attract the terrors of themud slide; a hot young film director and hiswife, a very bad actress, whose marriagehas just moved her from commercials forgirdles to the big screen (she is played byAdrienne Barbeau, and he — in his firstscreen appearance — by Mr. Carpenterhimself) ; and a blue-haired crypto-fascistmayor and ex-used car salesman (RonaldReagan), whose anti-environmental policiesand general and bad vibes further enragethe mud.As the film progresses, these charactersfind themselves trapped, surrounded by themud, and holed up on the studio backlotoriginally used for Psycho. At the film's cli¬ max we find our heroes, flailing franticallyaway at the mud in a montage-sequencewhich is an ingenious double-ripoff, er, hom¬age, to both Psycho and The Birds.Shot in three days, entirely on location inMr. Corman's home, backyard, front-yard,and studio with a single hand-held camera(no. Carpenter was not paid overtime forthe hours required to piece together themontage sequencesk) by "Vaseline”Vilmos Zsigmond — fresh from his out-of¬focus success in The Deerhunter and WinterKillls — the film is entirely suffused with anatmosphere of middle-class bad taste,decay, and suffocating, amorphous para¬noia.Carpenter's script, rewritten into Englishfrom an original by Tom Stoppard, is an¬other of Carpenter's trenchant social cri¬tiques. It is filled with snickers at the ex¬pense of — excuse me, I mean brilliantContinued on p. 91—the pink city journal, you fool, Tuesday, April 1, 1980 Sisters: (Brian DePalma, 1971) An early,low-budget horror film that falls neatlybetween The Fury and Carrie on the gra¬tuitously grotesque-artfully horrorfulscale. Margot Kidder plays one half of aSiamese twin who's upset by the mysteri¬ous antics of her less well adjusted otherhalf. Sisters includes one of the screen'smore gory but imaginative, murderscenes. Caution: This movie is not for thesqueamish; the squeamish, therefore, areencouraged to attend. Tonight at 7:15 and9:15 in Quantrell. Doc $1.50 — P.K.You've Read the Book, Now See the Move!(Nick Rudall and Warner Wick, 1929):The first of this team's many screen adap¬tations, this one based loosely upon epi¬sodes from The Odyssey and The Repub¬lic. Although some have charged that thesubtitles in Homeric Greek make the ac¬tion difficult to follow in this silent film,Olivier is phenomonal as Odyssocrates,and makes up for this early effort's slowerparts. Tonight at 5 and 11 in Quantrell.Doc; $1 — R.I.P.Bonzo Goes to Washington (John Sears,1980): A contemporary rake's progress.The film tracks the changing fortunes ofan aging ex-Hollywood star as he crawlsfrom the Western trail to the campaigntrail. The hero begins his first career in aminor studio stuck in second leads in me¬diocre flicks. He whiles his considerableleisure time entangled in union imbrogAll WashedUpby Clean GeneWhen my father was in school, he wouldsend his dirty clothes, his longjohns and let¬ter sweaters and such, home in a neatly tiedbundle to grandma for washing. (She washis mom, so she's my grandma). But "theseare the days of women's lib and I have totake care of my own dirty laundry." Or,anyway, that's what my mom (Dad's wife)said.Maybe you remember the article I wrotelast year for the Maroon about the fun andbenefits of using bleach. Really,, that wasone of the most important things) learned atschool and I appreciated the opportunity toshare it with you. Since then I've encoun¬tered new adventures in the laundry room,including a very scary one which I'll tell youabout in a sec.Some upperclassman in my dorm told methe quickest way to wash your clothes. Timeis always in short supply when you're a stu¬dent, and who wants to spend all your timein the laundry?We were sittiing over one of those deli¬cious (ha ha!) dormitory meals. I was com¬plaining about how I spent all my time in thelaundry room, learning about bleach andstuff, and thought maybe my class work wassuffering. I had this big paper due in Reme¬ dial Writing and it wasn't going so good."You spend too much time in the laun-dryroom, kid," said the upperclassman."Maybe it would help if you left your clotheson when you did it," he said.I took the advice from the upperclassman who later turned out to be a real card. Youcan see the result in this picture (above).That's me on my dorm bed. I was prettyupset so, after crying a while, I went andtold my resident head."Stop being so small-minded!" he said.Serve Bricksby Mimi KiddBecause of tuition increases, students aregoing to find that entertaining friends willput a strain on their budget. Now, pink citytest kitchens have found a creative way tocelebrate the birthday of that someone spe¬cial by making an unusual single layerbirthday brick.Bricks are plentiful in the city, but if youdon't happen to live next to a condemnedbuilding, you can always dismantle yourroommate's makeshift bookshelves and use fone of those bricks. aOnce you have acquired a brick, you can *use your imagination to decorate or enhance Eyour brick according to your specific needs. >Some suggestions are: Icing-This is a good away to really add some flair to your brick. aTou can make butter cream roses, makescrolling around the edges, or write thebirthday person's name on the top. It alsoacts as a good camouflage for surprisebirthday party excitement. Candles Thephoto shows how much a plain brick can beenhanced by a lighted candle and a little at¬mosphere. This type of brick, without thecandle, can be served at afternoon teas. Thedoilies add just the right touch. These brickscan also be served with ice cream orwhipped cream, and at Easter time, jellybeans can be liberally sprinkled around thebase of the brick.Pink city party suggestions are also help¬ful for busy students-on-the-go who don'thave the time to plan party recreation. Hereare a few brick ideas: BYOB (Bring Your Own Brick)-this is for a larger party, whenyou can't afford to furnish enough bricks fora crowd. Building Bricks Similar to LegoBricks, only on a larger scale. Studentdwellings have been built inadvertently atsome of the more boisterous building brickbashes in the past. Rectangular Shot-Put-most students sprain themselves whenthrowing something as heavy as a brick, butthe shot-put throw is easy and fun. Tapemeasures should be provided to measurethe winning put.The single layer birthday brick hasproved to be a great success at manysmaller birthday parties, but if your partic¬ular friend doesn't approve of your effort,you can always throw their birthday brickthrough their window. Campus FilmClash/Eagles Supersession Settfor Henry Crown Fieldhouse Apr. 31by Tom StoppardAlthough it's been a campus rumor forweeks, MAB has definitely announced thatthey have secured enough funds to bring theClash/Eagles World Supersession Tour tothe U of C for one big show in early April.MAB was able to raise enough money toattract these two expensive bands by votingto raise the mandatory undergraduate fee tofifty dollars. When asked to comment on thisfinancial move, MAB President HowardNeiden said "Fuck 'em. These are the twogreatest punk-rock acts in the world, and ifwe have to soak the students to get them, wewill."The Clash and The Eagles will play inHenry Crown Fieldhouse on April 31, flyinginto Chicago after two shows in New York'sMadison Square Garden. This will be thefirst time a concert will be held in the Field-house since the near-riot at the MalachiFavors solo bass concert in 1978. Ticketswill be the same price as at every other dateon the tour, $25 a head.While criticism over the expensive ticketprices has been heard at every stop, thebands have sold out every show played sofar, and the Chicago stop will probably be noexception.The Tour, which recently played to sell¬out crowds of screaming punks in Englandbefore coming to the States, is in conjunc¬tion with the release of the Clash/Eagles Su¬persession Album, Hotel Proletariat. Adouble album on Asylum, the album featuessuch hit tunes as "Victim of Punk," "Coke-Snorting Time," "I'm So Bored With TheS.Y.L.," "Tequila Overdose," and their hitsingle, "I'm Going To Strangle You ToDeath While I Pogo With You (I LoveYou)." The album ends with the obligatory"joke/jam," with Mick Jones and Don Hen¬ley kicking out the jams with a high energyversion of "Havin' My Baby." The albumhas been number one on the Billboardcharts for the last ten weeks.The union of these two unlikely artistic en¬sembles came soon after the releases of TheLong Run and London Calling, the lastalbums by the groups. In an exclusive inter¬view with the pink city journal, Jones andHenley discussed their team-up.PCJ: Tell us something about how the WorldGray digs Clashby Red Cosmos andthe pink city staff"I'm tickled pink!" giggled UniversityPresident Hanna Gray yesterday; "I reallycouldn't be happier." <oGray referred to the upcoming EClash/Eagles Supersession in Henry Crown .£Fieldhouse, and stated that she planned to £attend. "I'll bring my man, if I can find uhim; I think he's one of those opposing the orecent teaching decision (see article "Pro-fessors Here to Teach," p. 1), so I don'tknow if he'll be available. But I just boughtLondon Calling yesterday, and I think thatone would have to say, if one were sayingthis, that they are the grooviest group tocome down the pike in many years."What's our president's fave cut? "That is,of course, difficult to ascertain, but if onewere free to choose, I suppose I would endorse "Clampdown" — I certainly find it themost humorous, in its own way. Every timeI hear 'Kick over the walls,/ 'Cos govern¬ment's to fall/How can you refuse it?' I justcannot, in my opinion, stop laughing simplybecause the notion of life without repressionis naturally surreal."Relating a hitherto unknown part of herpast, Gray told of her limited exposure toska and bluebeat: "I suppose my knowledgeof these foreign influences has not beenmaximal," she stated; "but I do not alsofind this in relation to my job the most salient feature of my limitations, for, after allis said and done, domestic music mattersmore. Should one support poor, third worldcontinued on page 9 Tour came about.HENLEY: Well, me and Joe Walsh were sit¬ting around figuring out what we could donow that we had made the greatest punkalbum ever made. Then we put on the newClash album, and realized these guysprobably understood exactly what wewere doing. So we called 'em up andkicked the idea around.JONES: Yea, an' we was thinking about thesame thing, me and Joe (Strummer, thesinger in the Clash) always wantin' to bebig rock stars an' all, the 'agles always'ave been a big influence on the Clash, an'when they rang up, we figured we wouldhave a bash. Besides, me an' Joe 'avealways thought the 'agles have been thegreatest punkers ever, better than 'venthe Pistols.PCJ: What about the expensive ticket prices? Isn't $25 a bit of a rip off?HENLEY: Look, I don't care. I'm rich and Ican do whatever I want.JONES: Yea, an' we want to be jus' like'im! I aint gonna wear shirts with "rebeltruce" scrawled on the back fo'ever, yaknow. I want some cash. Anyway, theClash has always been conning their fansjust like Th 'agles, and we figured if they'avent got the joke by now, fuck 'em.We're the two greatest punk rock acts inthe world.And indeed they are. Miss them at yourown risk. Below we feature a report fromour London Correspondent on the sold-outClash/Eagles show last week:"I went into the women's room. The wallswere covered in black grafitti. There was a bloke passed out on the floor and a load ofgirls stepping around him to get to the mirror. The Clash and Eagles begin the set with"Hotel Proletariat.""Don Henley looked like everyone else inthe crowd: short, spiky hair, a constantlymenacing expression, and drab, almost mi¬litaristic clothes decorated with writing,rips, chains, bondage gear and safety pins.Joe Walsh spilled a beer on Joe Strum-mer'shead; the bands rocked into a reggaeversion of "Take It Easy.""Everybody was pogoing, jumping up anddown frenetically, crashing into anybodyaround. Beer swilled everywhere, peoplewere spitting, there was no room. I was po¬going, somebody crashed into me at thewrong instant, and I bit through my lip.Mick Jones punched Glenn Frey in the face.Continued on p. 9Smiling faces on campus MondayWonderful News: 'I'll Smile'by Tip ToeUnsuspecting U of C faculty and staffmembers were caught off guard yesterdayduring the first full-scale performance bythis campus' newest performance company— "I'll Smile."The brainchild of first year College stu¬dent Op T. Mistic, "I'll Smile" now includesnearly every Hyde Park student in its rolls."We formed to brighten up the place," syasMs. Mistic, "and I think it's working." Mis¬tic started recruiting her company duringthe dull, drab days of the winter quarter justpast. "My friends and I were sitting down inthe Regenstein Coffee Shop just feeling bad— you know, the usual stuff — and then weall just started smiling. We don't know why, :and we're not asking." Was it great? "Youbet!" says Mistic, "Everybody just loved it. jWe lit up the whole canteen. Everybody there just sort of joined, spontaneously, andsaid to each other 'I'll Smile.'" And that isthe true story of how the group came by itsunusual name.The group's performance Monday was anunqualified success, according to Mistic."We got almost every College student, grad¬uate students, and one or two profs. Collegestudents are easier to win over, beingyounger and all, but the older ones are start¬ing too, once they see how much fun it canbe. I predict everybody'll be smiling by Fri¬day.""I'll Smile's" success is attributable toone basic device, a slight smile, not over¬powering, but firm. "We don't want to over¬do it," says Mistic; "we don't want to comeacross like we're all trying to sell something. But we do want to get noticed, and we do want to convince people that we're sin¬cere. After all, if everybody's always wor¬ried that something terrible's going to hap¬pen, then it already has."The company plans to expand it's reper¬toire (skipping, humming, and handholdingare under consideration) soon, but has re¬fused offers to perform elsewhere. "Sure,we'll smile on the trains, in the Loop, evenwhen we visit our parents, or go to NewYork, or wherever. But we just won't moveaway en masse for big bucks or critical ac¬claim. We started in response to life here,and we plan to remain true to our beginning.We just want to feel better about what we'redoing — studying and all — and to be happy,really." And is the company looking for¬ward to warmer weather? "You bet,"smiles Mistic.the pink city journal, you fool, Tuesday, April 1, 1980—2Pick Award nomineesIndustriousguerillasseize museumBy Shamis O’KleinMembers of the Bogota RevolutionaryParty stormed the Museum of Science andIndustry Sunday taking the museum and allof its visitors and staff hostage.The terrorists are demanding that the Co¬lumbian exhibition held in Jackson Park in1893 be renamed in all the history books andthat deposed University of Chicago presi¬dent John Wilson be returned to power.“We don't want our children growing up tothink that Columbia couldn’t hold its ownworld’s fair,’’ a spokesman for the terroristssaid. He added that the demand about JohnWilson was added as a joke.There is no word on the exact number ofhostages being held by the terrorists, al¬though conservative estimates put the fig¬ure at 2,000. Museum officials did say that1,200 baby chicks are trapped inside the in¬cubator exhibit.The museum was unusually crowded Sun¬day due to the filming of A Coal Miner’sDaughter’s Sister in the museum’s coalmine replica.Additional fears about the safety of thehostages were raised when it was revealed Seize submarine toothat the giant plastic replica of a humanheart which is on display at the museummight stop beating, thereby allowing thebuilding to collapse.“Most people don’t realize that the heartis so much more than an exhibit,” the muse¬um spokesman said.Profs teachContinued from p. lthis outlandish and downright silly move onthe part of Mrs. Gray,” said one departmenthead who asked not to be blamed. “She hasno power to get us into the classroom. Wejust won’t go. They’ve been conductingclasses quite well for many years withoutgetting us to come down there.”As the news rapidly spread throughout theUniversity community, hundreds of profes¬sors — many blinking in the harsh wintersunlight — could be seen pouring out of theHarper and Regenstein libraries for a seriesof emergency departmental meeting calledto deal with what history professor WilliamMcNeill described as “a severe crisis in thehistory of American educational philosophyAnn LandersContinued from p. 1Iowa, and they’ve got lots of corn out there.Didn’t she win the Nobel Prize?”In his Harper Tower sanctuary, Ed Leviwas more philosophical in his words for thenew president. “If you have any troublewith these children here, don’t call the cops,expel them! Who cares about due process?Expel them! Expel everybody! Get out ofhere or I’ll expel you!”John Wilson took a few gasps betweenlaps at the Bartlett Gym pool. “She’ll be — perhaps a crisis in our whole Hyde Parkcommunity, which is, of course, to say ourwhole culture.”“It’s an announcement worthy of a doctor¬ate thesis, an entire book, a whole series ofvolumes,” said McNeill, ‘and I’m not at allashamed to say that I, for one, am busily atwork on the project.”The more angry of faculty members havealready formed an organization to fightGray’s move to bring back Universityteaching. Calling themselves PUBLISH!(Professors United to Banish Lectures, In¬terested Students, and (office) Hours), theorganization plans on rallying for a demon¬stration on April 23rd. Members of PUB-LISH! are considering coordinating a de¬monstration with A “Hell No, We W’on’tGo!” anti-draft and registration rally slatedfor that same day.Out with the oldgreat. I always thought we should have awoman as president.” By Pick N. ChooseEven though the Pick Award for interna¬tional understanding may still be under offi¬cial scrutiny, a secret committee has beenformed to select the winner and plan thebanquet anyway.Committee members have stated that thisyear they are looking for a more non-contro-versial winner than last year. A number ofcandidates have emerged from initial meet¬ings of committee members:• Mother Maria — sister of the better-known Catholic missionary Mother There¬sa. Maria is being considered because hersister, a would-be shoo-in for the award,doesn’t attend banquets. Maria runs a deli¬catessen in Skokie.• Captain James T. Kirk — leader of afive-year mission to explore the universeand boldly go where no man has gone be¬fore. Another inter-galactic traveler, JerryBrown, would probably pick up the awardfor the travelling starfleet commander.• The Village People — for promoting un¬derstanding between people of different ste¬reotypes.• Margaret Trudeau — for promoting bet¬ter British-Canadian relations.• Rula Lenska — idol of the stage andscreen, Lenska is under consideration be¬cause of her outstanding hospitality towardsAsk Dr .LeroyBy Dr. S. David LeroyDr. S. David Leroy graduated from theCollege in 1970 and attended Medical Schoolof Santo Domingo. He did his internship inBogota, Columbia before coming here in1974 to start practice. He invented “sportsmedicine’’ last year and located his “clinic’’here at the University.Dear Dr. Leroy,My finger is swollen, and black and blue.What should I do?Pained in PoughkeepsieDear Pained,Cut it off and send it to me for a look. Taketwo aspirin, and send me ten dollars.Dear Dr. Leroy,My knees hurt whenever I run. Do I haveshin splints? What do you recommend?Kurtailed in KentuckyDear Kurtailed,Cut it off and send it to me for a look. Taketwo aspirin, and send me ten dollars.Dear Dr. Leroy,This dog bit my ear and mangled it up.Can it be repaired by plastic surgery?Vincent Van GarpDear Vincent,Cut it off and send it to me. Take twoaspirin, and send me ten dollars.Dear Dr. Leroy,I think I have jock itch from chafing dur¬ing running. What about those powders and visitors to London. She is presently consi¬dered the favorite to win the award.Plans for the banquet which will honor theaward winner are also being made. RonaldReagan and John Connally have agreed topresent the award.Connally and Reagan recently shockedthe world by announcing that they wereSiamese twins separated from each other atthe age of two and raised in separate partsof the country. They are planning an opera¬tion this spring to be reunited.Despite the fact that no one has been cho¬sen to win the award, plans to protest thedinner are already underway.“We hate everyone,” an SYL spokesmansaid, “death to the award winner, death tothe imperialistic university.”The Maroon is planning a series of shock¬ing exposes on the award winner based upontalking to his or her worst enemies. Marooneditors also plan to be suitably outraged andnaturally indignant.Sensing trouble in the air and revolutionunder foot, the administration has been tak¬ing various steps to quell the planned insur¬rection. Among the contingencies being con¬sidered is a plan to have the MajorActivities Board sponsor the event to insurea low turnout.The administration is also planning to im¬port National Guardsmen from BowlingGreen, Ohio.Dr. Leroybalms to relieve the itch?Rhode Island RedDear Red,I bet you thought I w;as going to tell you tocut it off and send it to me, didn’t you.You’re wrong, Jogging Socks Breath. Justtake two aspirin and send me ten dollars.For all the answers write to Dr. Leroy,Sports Medicine Clinic, University Hospi¬tals and Clinics.Will issue bondsrJans to cornconcertCon*rived from pink city p. 2The bands went into “Whole Lotta Love."The fans went wild.“I lost the feeling in my lip. Two blokeswere strangling each other in the corner.Don Henley was strangling Topper Headonin another corner. Paul Simonon did anacoustic version of “Copacabana." Heended by smashing his guitar over his head.Mick Jones smashed a guitar over his head.Unfortunately for Mick, it's an electric gui¬tar: the concert ends as Mick is dragged un¬conscious off the stage.Gray crazy for ClashContinued from pink city p. 2musicians at the expense of domestic recordmanufacturers and all the persons in related industries? I think not, and I think people9—the pink city journal, you fool, Tuesday, April 1, 1980of clear conscience will in general agreewith this position. Still, I do enjoy gettingdown with the kids, when the opportunity ar¬rises. liver marketCarpenter work“The Clash/Eagles weren't putting any¬body on that night. Okay, times havechanged and they have had big records, inthe charts with a bullet (at least in England)but I will still brave Madison Square Gardenor any similar huge arena for the experi¬ence of seeing them. (Here the account endswith unintelligible drug-induced mum¬blings.)The Clash/Eagles are punks. Think aboutit . . . you know it too. Continued from pink city p. lattacks on the respected institutions of —television-watching, used-car salesmen,Alfred Hitchcock, gay rights (as AdrienneBarbeau reveals herself to be a transves¬tite), and shopping malls (the most chillingsequence: the mud hides itself in a rearcorner of a dressshop dressing room, selec¬tively attacking only women wearingclogs.In one sequence, Carpenter even turns hisperceptive eye on directors trained in film-schools, as his director, grown hysterical onthe set of Psycho, relates the first fourteenof Hitchcock's films — shot-for-shot, bring¬ing his exhausted comrades ever closer tothe big sleep; until the mayor bludgeonshim to death, after a series of derogatory remark about a certain series of films starringa present presidential candidate and a tmmpeuizee.Producer Roger Corman is pleased withthe film's first-week returns in his heavycampaign in drive-ins across Indiana. Cor¬man plans to open the film here next week,in fact, on the bottom of a quadruple bill atthe Oriental Theatre, along with Sex Kittensin Chains, Kung-Fu Super-Fly, and Dawn ofthe Axe Murdering, Blood Drinking Dead.Campus filmContinued from pink city p. ipropaganda, instead of bombs, on enemytrenches. Winning a citation from thePope (Ronald Reagan) and a dischargefrom the army, Dutch retires to PuertoRico where he designs religious attire andconverts surfers. This series was directorMillstone's only major effort. After itended he started schools for quaise punkguitarists and candle carvers. Thursdayat 11 in Quantrell. Doc; $1. — ripSPECIAL DISCOUNT PRICESfor all STUDENTS andFACULTY MEMBERSJust present your University of Chicago IdentificationCard. As Students or Faculty Members you are entitledto special money-saving DISCOUNTS on ChevroletParts, Accessories and any new or used Chevrolet youbuy from Ruby Chevrolet. &GM QUALITY iSflSERVICE PARTSGENERAL MOTORS FARTS DIVISIONKeep That Great GM Feeling With GENUINE GM Parts"72nd & Stony IslandOpen Evenings and Sunday 684-0400Parts Open Sat. 'til noon2 Miles - 5 Minutes AwayFrom The UNIVERSITYSPECIAL DISCOUNT PRICESfor all STUDENTS andFACULTY MEMBERSJust present your University of Chicago IdentificationCard. As Students or Faculty Members you are entitledto special money-saving DISCOUNTS on VolkswagenParts, Accessories and any new or used Volkswagenyou buy from Ruby Volkswagen72nd & Stony Island 684-0400Open Evenings and Sundays Parts Open Sat. 'til noon Next to 1C tracksAnnual MonthlyParking $5700Annual DailyParking $3300Hand CarWash $500Do-It-YourselfRepairw/tools $375Fast OilChange S-j gooplus grease $4.00extraSOON TO COMEUSED CARRENTAL667-2800CHINESE-AMERICAtfRESTAURANTSpecializing inCANTONESE ANDAMERICAN DISHESOpen Daily11 AM to 8:30 PMClosed Monday1318 EAST 63rdMU 4-1062VERSAILLES5254 S. DorchesterWELL M AINTAINEDBUILDINGAttractive 1 V2 and2V2 Room StudiosFurnished or Unfurnished$218to$320Based on AvailabilityAt Campus Bus Stop324-0200 Mrs. Croak(/>A0 <y<0 CalendarToday:WHPK: Wake up and stay up with avant gardepublic service announcements, 6:30-9:00 am.Committee to Banish Airport Hangar Architec¬ture on Campus: Protest at noon on the quads.Bring demolition crews and brooms.Oriental Institute: Lecture, “Nonsense W’ordsthat Rhyme” by Prof. Jerkey Turkey. 4:30 pm.Poop Troop: Letting Go! Anytime, anywhere,now through the end of time.Canadian Club: Meeting at 8:00 pm, Jimmy’s.Nerd Club: Tonight and every Tuesday throughFinals — bring books, calculators, and pointyblack shoes to A-level.Tomorrow:Bourgeois Capitalist Running Dog Flaky Soci¬ety: In honor of Che, high noon, on the quads.Nirvana Club: Noon, in your mind.Lecture:“*$L»%%%th!»8©!!!!” or, “In Praiseof Henry Miller,” sponsored by gthe Bad Lan¬guage Club. 5:00 pm, Cobh basement Men’sjohn.Overeaters Not So Anonymous: Burton Judson.Pierce, and Voodvard Court dining halls, 4:45-6:30 pm.Voodvard Court Lecteur: Valter Jeske. former Uof C custodian, “The Art of Good Grooming.”8:00 pm.Astronomy Club: Gets high tonight in Ryersonattic. Midnight.Spray Painters Anonymous: Anytime, any¬where.Thursday:Dungeons and Dragons Club: Ad-hoc committeefor the location of Saul Bellow, 7 am in the steamtunnels.Karma Klub: Noon, in God’s mind.Lecture: “Political Leadership in AnarchicStates: A Dying Career Opportunity?” JulieMunson, of the Office of Career CounselingPlacement, will speak. 4:30 pm, Cloister Club.Hyde Park Arsonists. Workshop on MolotovCocktails. Regenstein stacks, late.Anal Retentives: Midnight in the Pub.Committee on Social Thoughts: “Problems ofLife as an Anal Retentive: Why Put Out’’” Lec¬ture by Herr Prof. Dr C. Gar Sigmund. Midnightin the Pub.Rug thieves nabbedBy Persion RuggDean of Students Charles O’Connell andDean of the College Jonathan Z. Smith werearrested last week as the leaders of a den ofthieves behind the disappearance of two ir¬replaceable Persian rugs once housed inRockefeller Chapel.Jonathan Kleinbard, vice-president forcommunity affairs, credited The Maroonwith inadvertently providing the clues thatled to the capture of O’Connell and Smith.We saw' that picture of Smith in the paperlast May and even though The Maroon apoli-gized for the “error”, we felt we were on tosomething.” When the above photo ofO'Connell was snapped accidently by an un¬suspecting Maroon photographer, Kleinbardknew he had his men.“Mrs. Gray had said she had been missinga lot of important papers and my New YorkTimes had been missing the crossword puz¬zle for several months. When Bruckner ac¬cused me of stealing his lunch last week Ifigured we had some insiders as suspects.”The two carpet nabbers failed to impressKleinbard with their story that they wereusing the rugs to negotiate an exchange forthe American hostages in Iran.President Gray immediately disavowed Charles O’Connellany knowledge of the work of the tw o admin¬istrators saying that they were holdoversfrom previous administrations:“A part of the development of that entirematter was the result in a sense of an ac¬cident of transition and under other circum¬stances we wouldn't have had it.” Gray-said.Strike strife racks stacksby Boris EyesThe newly formed Harper Library-Workers Union charged today that the Uni¬versity’s Popular Reading Collection(PRC) is unfair to workers. The Union'scharges are detailed in a 36 page memo tolibrarian Joan Anderson, dated March 31.Among 16.240 other charges, the Unionmemo states that the PRC adds needless pa¬perwork to an already overburdened staff."The agony of working conditions at HarperLibrary is exacerbated by the PRC.” thememo charges.Contacted for comment today. Unionpresident Joe Christmas stated in no uncer¬tain terms that the continuation of the PRCwould jeopardize union-management rela¬tions. “The collection is totally unaccept¬able to us — and we’re united on this point.Any attempt on the management’s part tomaintain the collections under the currentsystem can only lead to problems." Christ¬mas. who is a draft resister and a student inthe College, added that the Union would con¬sider a slowdown if the PRC continues.Questioned on this point. Anderson stated“Don't they think they work slowly enoughalready*? They're never on time for work as it is. and hardly a one of them actually doesmore than 15 minutes work while here. I cansay with certainty that to work more slowly,the counter staff’ll have to worker harderthan they do now. And I'm also sure there'redozens of upstanding College studentswho'll be most happy to take their places be¬hind the counter.”"She's nuts,” said Christmas. “We re latebecause we re so bored at work we’d rathertake a chance of getting fired than work thefull four hours. And who does she think weare anyway? We re sensitive students in theCollege, and it pains us deeply to be char¬gin' out Savage Love Scorned and How to beYour Own Worst Enemy ail the time. Whatever happened to Milton, to Plato, to Thu¬cydides? And as for scabs, everybodyknows you have to drink five cups of coffeefor every hour at Harper — no kidding,that's how dull it is. It'll take any newcomerabout five minutes to figure that one out. Wefeel confident that our expertise in stayingawake on the job would he greatly missed,were we to be replaced.”Both library and union managements ex¬pect to battle over this and several hundredother points at a negotiation session set fortonight at 7:30 in the C-Shop.THE DECLINE OF ACADEMIC I.IFE FOR IEWISH STUDENTS & SCHOLARS IN RUSSIAPROF. F A Y I) O R LIT V I N.Materials Engineering Dept.. University of Illinois - Chicago CircleFormerly Prof, at the Polytechnic Institute of Precision Mechanics artd Optics in LeningradTHURSDAY. APRIL 3 7:15 P M. HII.LFl. FOUNDATION5715 WOODLAWN AVENUEThe Chicago Maroon, You Fool, Tuesday, April 1, 1980—5ROCKEFELLER MEMORIAL CHAPELt>olu ff[cek gouicesWednesday, 3pnl 2 • >:w 3.1)1.A SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNIONJWaundg Thursday aprh 35 P.M. EVENING PRAYER 8 P.M. HOLY COMMUNION©ood Tridag ecumenical SendeeAPRIL 4, 12:00—12:50 P.M.Preacher: LARRY L. GREENFIELD, Interim Minister, Hyde Park Union ChurchVesper ySeruiee 5.00 p.m."STATIONS OF THE CROSS" by Marcel DupreThomas Weisflog, Organist, Kenneth Northoott, NarratorBernard O. Brown, Minister©aster ©he VigilAPRIL 5, 8:00 P.M.Preacher: DAVID L. BARTLETT, Associate Professor, Divinity SchoolSERMON; "WAITING"©aster aprh 69 AM ECUMENICAL SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNIONPreacher: BERNARD O. BROWNGuest Choir: The University High School Chamber Choir11 A.M. UNIVERSITY RELIGIOUS SERVICEPfochw. BERNARD O. BROWN Tuesday April 1 7:15and9:15Brian De Palma sSISTERSFII Wednesday April 2 7:1 5 and 9:30Jane Fonda in Ibsen'sA DOLL'S HOUSEdirected by Joseph LoseyThursday April 3Francois Truffant's 7:15 and 9:30TWO ENGLISH GIRLSFriday, National Lampoon's Animal HouseSaturday, Peppermint SodaSunday, Fellini s Orchestra RehearsalTuesday & Wednesday Film $1.00All Others $1.50 All Films in Cobb HallIDie Uniticrsitg of ChicagoTHE SCHOOL OF SOCIAL SERVICE ADMINISTRATIONPRESENTSThe Fourth SOCIAL SERVICE REVIEW LectureSOCIAL SERVICE:GODLESS AND GODLYBYMARTIN E. MARTYFairfax M. Cone Distinguished Service Professor, Divinity SchoolWEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 19804:00 P.M.SCHOOL OF SOCIAL SERVICE ADMINISTRATION969 East Sixtieth Street, Room W1