ASSAILS WORLD POLICE,UNEMPLOYMENT THE PROBLEMIhe THoAoonVol. 3, No. 8 Z-149 Friday, November 12,1943 Price Four CentsUSSR Red BogeyIs Dead-Kerwin“In the postwar World Russia willnot be as difficult as people think. Shehas given up her ideas of internation¬alism. Her communism has been moreaffected than effective in other na¬tions. It has been subjected to ridiculethrough the demonstrative action oflocal communist parties, groups thatdistort the original communist party,that are despised as much in Russiaas elsewhere. Before the war, Russiafeared the Capitalist world and feltits hostility. But when it is all overwith, Russia will ask for only onething—security, a guarantee thattheir government will not be cor¬rupted. Undoubtedly she will de¬mand the Polish border.”Masses Are Losing ControlPost war problems have been thesubject of a series of lectures givenby Jerome G. Kerwin to the CalvertClub for the past few weeks.Not only has he been drawing aperspective upon the future and thepeace which is bound to come, buthe has also been extracting from thepast the conditions whjch have led totoday’s crisis. Only with a knowl-edge*‘6f the" bacTTgrbund' of *tfiis pres¬ent conflict can we prepare to pre¬vent such situations from arisingagain. Therefore, in his first twolectures Mr. Kerwin devoted thetopic to this category.His viewpoint is that the worldwars have been created by suchmodes of thought as (1) intense na¬tionalism (2) economic imperialism(3) an erroneous interpretation ofdemocracy. We have relied too muchon democracy in the way that it hasbeen looked upon for security and ameans of solving our problems. Inthis way we have allowed the laissezfaire theory to arise and economicpower to overcome us. At this pointthe masses are Ipsing control of eco¬nomic destiny while striving for aproletariat government. There is adire lack of economic stability inworld order. Our concentrated ideasof progress have been too over-em¬phasized.”In the third and final presentationMr. Kerwin pointed out that in orderto have an ever-lasting peace theremust be a substantial surrender ofthe sovereignty of every nation.‘Post-war peace will be no merry-go-round, it must be planned withgreat strategy and carried out inthe same way. In order to do so wemust appeal to the common sense ofthe people—they cannot heave a sighof relief and say, ‘Whew, I’m gladthat’s over with!’ then sit back andtake it easy. Though we may be suf¬fering from ‘war-weariness* we mustbe as ready to forfeit for the securi¬ty of peace as we are for the attain¬ment of peace. We must banish ourracial prejudices, among all others,and remember we are all human be¬ings. We must run on the basis of co¬operation, not competition. Aboveall we must realize our ultimategoal,, casting aside our idealism andfrenzy of selfishnpRti ** JEROME G. KERWIN... no merry-go-round“To unify amiable state of peace,”Kerwin continued, “There must be acentralized world-fede^ation. This gov¬ernment would be operated on repre¬sentative and democratic principles,perhaps with presiding officers rotat¬ing and serving a term of one year.Of xu:>uriie,.such.a> iederatioiL could notbe set up immediately, it will takegenerations to formulate it and com¬ply by its rules. It is very unlikelythat we will live to see such a thingexist.”“A world police force would be themost practicable in case of uprisings.It would be maintained under the com¬bined forces of victorious powers. Ar¬mies would have to be maintained forsome time. Japan might possibly beunder the tutelage of China.”“No matter what, we must not letour optimism get the better of us. Wewill have to fight hard for peace, andfight hard to establish it permanently.The big* question is, ‘If you wantpeace, how much are you willing topay for it’?” Saturday’sC Dance LastOf Fall SeasonTomorrow night the Student SocialCommittee will present the final C-Dance of the autumn quarter seriesduring the traditional hours of 8 to12 on the third floor of Ida Noyes Hallwith Wally Hermes’ orchestra supply¬ing the swing and sweet for the danc¬ing pleasure of all. The Social Com¬mittee reports that the season’sdances have been successful beyond allexpectations and with all campus sup¬port, tomorrow night’s dance will capthe climax of a lively C-Dance season.Peachy Season“Although the final financial re¬ports have not been received,” saidMiss Kidwell, advisor to Student so¬cial activities, “It is believed that theC-Dances have done very well finan¬cially.” Although this will be the lastdance for the quarter the Social Com¬mittee has planned a full social calen¬dar throughout the remainder of thequarter. The Date Bureau will contin¬ue to function and an effort will bemade to introduce the new ASTP mento campus activities as was the for¬mer class.A series of winter dances has alsobeen plaiineff for ^ery third'Saturdaynight during the next quarter. MissKidwell said, and the Social Commit¬tee promises an enterprising socialprogram for the winter season.Wash Prom?It is rumoured, moreover, that theSocial Committee will follow the leadof IF Council in continuing the Wash¬ington Prom. On the basis of the CDances’ success in the past fewmonths their hopes are not entirelyunwarranted. Together with the defi¬nitely planned IF Ball and hopefulglances towards a 3-Way later in theyear Chicago will wind up its threequarters with none of its traditionallyspecial occasions left out.Hutchins Wears BowTies, As I Do - MayerAt ten minutes to eleven ayem, I walked in on a round table discussionin the anteroom of Mr. Adler’s office. “Is this Mr. Mayer’s office,” I asked. Achorus of giggles assured me that it was and that, furthermore, Mr. Mayerhimself was right there in front-of me. “Hello, Mr. Mayer,” I said. “I’mHelen Panaretos from the Maroon, and I believe I have an appointment withyou for eleven o’clock.”“Why didn’t you say where you were from? I wouldn’t have seen you.Go on in and wait for me. I’ll be right in.” He came in. “All right, why do youwant to see me? Do you want to sell me something? Do you want to sell mea subscription? Do you want to buy a subscription? What do you want totalk to me about?”Mayer the ManMr. Mayer, I want to discover Mayer, The Man.”“I see’ that when the Maroon interviewed Mr. Schwab, Mr. Schwab said,‘I’m not a man; I’m just a teacher’. In the same vein, and with Mr. Schwab inmind, Mayer says, ‘I’m not a teacher; I’m just a man’.” Thus spake Mr.Mayer.‘^I understand you were a newspaper man once upon a time. Won’t youtell me something about your experiences?”“As Mr. Hearst always says when his employees want a raise, want aliving wage, or want to organize a union,—‘I used to be a newspaper man(see Mayer, page four) Socialist Leader DenouncesIndiscriminate Vengeance‘There can be no lasting peace unless Americans develop apositive attitude towards present and post-war disunity factors.”Thus Norman Thomas, Socialist bigwig and presidential candidate,stated the main text of his Armistice Day speech at the Universityof Chicago yesterday. Mr. Thomas then went on to outline theseproblems as unemployment, lack of relief for war packed coun¬tries, racial problems and attempts to establish imperialisticauthority by a world wide police force.“Perhaps the greatest single economic force tending to pro¬duce war,” the speaker stated, “is not greed for markets and raw^materials, but the inability of nations to avert unemployment.”*Pointing out that the European nations had tried military conscrip¬tion as a remedy and failed, he stated that Fascism is the directresult of the failure to solve the unemployment problem.Criticizing Sir Norman Angells’'Counterpoint'Still AwaitsOfficial OKThe frustrated plans for Chicago’snewest editorial venture “Counter¬point” have gone underground. De¬spite Dean Scott’s flat denial of Uni¬versity recognition, editor SheldonNewbergef told the MAROON yester¬day that “there will be a ‘Counter¬point’—^you can count on that. Howwe will manage it under the circum¬stances I really can’t tell you.”Determined as “Counterpoint’s”hopefuls seem to be, it is difficult toimagine how their editors can by-passthe University’s pontifical curse.Without it it would be almost impos¬sible to obtain ads or cover Universi¬ty news. These facts, however, havenot as yet daunted the editorial hier¬archy of the embryonic journal.“Counterpoint”, from the time whenit was still in the state of mere hear¬say was recognized as a combinationnews-magazine dedicated to present¬ing Chicago with a new kind of news¬paper, to covering that portion ofcampus news ostensibly neglected bythe MAROON. The draft it presentedto Dean Scott’s office at the outset,however, was of a different nature.It prophesied a simon pure literaryjournal, devoid of all foul newsgather¬ing -ambitions. “Counterpoint’s” re¬stricted plans were only temporary.At their next visit with Dean ScottNewberger laid down plans for a bi¬weekly newsmagazine. And Scottbalked.His reluctance was the result of hisbelief that “the MAROON, good orbad, still has a monopoly on campusnews coverage. This campus only hasroom for one student newspaper.”When “Counterpoint” drafted itsmodest plans for University featurestories Scott saw in them the elementsof competition and put his foot down.’ (see Counterpoint, page two) theory of a world wide post war policeas a cure all, Mr. Thomas argued thata principle of mutual aid and cooper¬ation should be primarily stressed, in¬volving common interest in some kindof arrangement for mutual advantage.“However,” he warned, “the U.S.should beware of blind cooperationand realize that lasting peace cannotbe achieved through imperialism.Crimes of Their OverlordsOne of the most dangerous and po¬tentially destructive policies in theopinion of Mr. Thomas, is the atti¬tude that the entire population of theAxis nations should be made to suf¬fer for the crimes of their warlords.The socialist leader is certain thatagreements ought to be negotiated ina spirit of punishment only for theleaders and that any other policywould make peace impossible. More¬over he is convinced that there areno people good enough to play therole of a god of wrath, and the processwould be almost as destructive to usas to the victims.Bombs Breed Ill FeelingTurning his attention to the prob¬lem of racial prejudice, Mr. Thomasdeclared that we must deal with theproblem here in America before wecan settle it in Asia. Attacking thepresent immigration laws, he gave ashis opinion that the repeal of the Chi¬nese immigration law was mere bri¬bery, in other words a reward forfighting the Japs. Furthermore, headded, if the major nations cannotfurnish the wisdom to deal with theseracial problems, a lasting peace willbe impossible.Then switching the attack to thetopic of war relief, Mr. Thomas bit¬terly attacked the allies’ lack of aidto other countries. “Our bombs arebreeding ill feeling against us,” he(see Thomas, page two)Solve IF BallQuestions-FullInformalityAt a recent meeting, the Interfra¬ternity Council decided to make theInterfraternity Informal strictly in¬formal. This decision was reached af¬ter several hours wrangling over aformal, semi-formal, informal, or op¬tional dance. The Council thoughtthat by making the dance informal,many problems, especially transpor¬tation, would be lessened.Members of active fraternities canget their bids from their chaptertreasurer. Inactive fraternities willnot be handled as groups, but ticketswill be sold to their members individ¬ually. These men can get their bidsfrom Wayne Gasper at the Kappa Sighouse, or Bill Service at the Phi Gamhouse (upon receipt of $3.50). Bidswill not be sold at the door, conse¬quently all actives and alumni shouldget their tickets NOW.Page Two-The Chicago MaroonEntered January 13, 1943, as third class mail in the United StatesPostal Service. The official student Publication of the University ofChicacro, published every Friday during Fall, Winter and Springquarters.BOARD OF CONTROLManaging Editor Dave SmothersBusiness Manager Ward SharbachSports Editor ...John CampbellMakeup editor Dorothy GranquistCirculation Manager Lolly KabrineASSOCIATESAnn Huntington, Rosemary Peacock, Eddie Meyers, Ruth Ernst,Eugene Bahnsen, Bud Steenberg, Bill Friend, Mary McCaffrey, DonShields, Mary Augusta Rodgers, Jim Ratcliffe, Robert Fiffler, Mary-lou Landis, Connie Plasman, Doris Ruzck, Barbara Winchester, LoisArnett, Wayne Gasper, Bill Langner, Houtz van Steenberg, DoloresFilman, Nancy Busch, Sandy Selcer, Helen Panaretos, Nancy Smith,Marian Golden, Bill Roberts, Bill Brown, Harmon Craig, Dot Iker.Gone But Not ForgottenA few days ago a Chicago alumnus came backto the campus. He came back because he had adefinite idea of what the Univergity had beenlike. He remembered days of formal parties,Blackfiars shows, BMOC's who were really big,heated academic squabbles, spectacular MA¬ROON publicity stunts—all the trappings that gowith big time campus life.This man did all the things that returningalumni do. He walked around the campus andlooked at all the buildings. He visited the men hehad known as freshmen in his senior years—tried to find some trace of all the beautiful girlswho loved him so ardently in the good old days.What he found was a mixture of a small town uni¬versity and an army training post. And he wentaway wishing he hadn^t come in the first place.He was right, though. The students of theUniversity, at least those who still go throughthe paces of '39, are in a queer position. They sitaround their little tables telling each other allthe latest petty gossip of the day. The trouble isthat any piece of dirt they can exhume has al¬ready been three times around the campus an(Lback again; everybody who had heard about ithad said: ''Hotcha! Gotta tell all the girls aboutthis,” and dashed off to spread the news. Theygather in little groups on the third floor of IdaNoyes and rake over the dying embers of campuspolitics.* Too bad that the greater part of theirtiny teapot tempests could be fought out withroom to spare on the head of a needle. Futility—thy name is frustration.The things we used to get fun out of aren'tfun any more. It isn't an awful lot of fun to sitaround every two or three nights in U.T. andsing the same songs we sang last week. It isn'tan awful lot of fun to gather in eager little groupsand hear somebody tell the same pipperoos youtold to the guy next to you yesterday. And it isn'ta helluva lot of fun leading a gay college lifewhen most of the gaiety and a lot of the hellhas gone out of it.Of course, any extreme statement like thisisn't all true. There's a lot of the old drive left—the phenomenal success of this quarter'sdances prove it. But the scope and the style thatmarked Chicago's campus only last year willnever come back until the war is over and theASTP has left Hitchcock. voiceby CARROLL ATWATEREveryone who ever writes a column has amental model, a sort of literary god in whosetradition he writes. We have one, too—an old Ma-rooner whom we met at the Midway Carnival,Cody Pfanstiehl. Cody had a column that was across between Bazaar and (we hope) this one... and we recommend that you look through theold Maroon files and see what we mean.♦ ♦ ♦The younger Arnett has a new parody on thePond's ad—^which she pulls on her sister when¬ever possible—“She's horrible—She's engaged—She uses Lava!''♦ ♦ 4tTime, as always, will tell, but every timeDeems Taylor speaks of “lovely Gladys Swarth-ouf, we get the-idea that maybe he's puttinghis HEART into the announcer's bits.* « «There was a little woman who approached usat the Field Museum when we sold books there—and said breathlessly, “Do you believe all thatstuff about God being an ape?!''* ♦ ♦,Helen Flood has a charming bit of whimseyabout the monkeys at the end of the bannisterson the Ida Noyes stairway. The smiling monkey,she says has just won a race down the bannistersand the other one is pouting about it. TravelingBazaarBy DON SHIELDSThe classic remark of the week was pulled by JeanneLundberg in Chapel the other day . . . Sisters Turnbloom,Bloomquist and she were being shown the mysteries ofthe Crypt by campus expert Ward Sharbach (of BambyGolden fame) ... He was patiently explaining how thebodies of the dead University Presidents are crematedand then interred in the Crypt . . . “CREMATED!”screamed the shuddering Jeaime, “What a HORRIBLEway to die!” .And then there’s the saga of the MAROON officewhich leads us to believe that Hutchins is maybe just anold prude after all . . . The other aftemobn in the Edi-otrial Sanctum Sanctorum a sort of extemporaneousgame-session got under way . . . Merilyn McGurk intro¬duced the blithe illiterates to a little divertisement whichconsists of tying two people (preferably male and female)together in a seemingly innocuous manner and then ob¬serving the anguish and dismay of the duet when theyfind that separation is either embarrassing or impossible... Each new arrival was initiated into the play-fest withproper hiliarity ... in the midst of thefun, the telephone rang and a horriblyefficient voice expressed a desire tospeak to “the person in charge”. DaveSmothers, in capacity as ring-master,boldly strode to the phone, still chuck¬ling over the plight of the unfortunateswho were currently attempting thegame. The Voice cooed the followingmessage, “This is the President’s secretary . . . Mr.Hutchins is disturbed and annoyed at the sounds emenat-ing from the MAROON office and has observed thingsgoing on in there that just DON’T occur on a well reg¬ulated campus . . . The whole thing is most indecorous.Please desist at once!” . . , Imagine the astonishment ofour illustrious Editor . . . Great was the consternation... Could it be that Mr. Hutchins was REALLY sufferingfrom an acute case of outraged maidenly virtue ... orwas some semi-wit wagging our tail ? .... Or perhaps asHi Betts observed (in an unusual display of intelligence.)Mr. Hutchins was spending his lunch hour at someshrewdly chosen vantage point in his home alternatelytraining his toy telescope on the MAROON office andthe Womens Dorms . . . You figure it out ... we give up.The Pi Delt Sadie Hawkins party at Charlotte Drag-stedt’s last Sat. night was carried off in true Dogpatchstyle, replete with shot-gun wedding . . . Nancy Psmytheas Flame McGoon and Bill Roberts as Godonlyknowswere easily the most original couple there ... troublecame when Roberts’ spirit-gum*beard began to wilt . . .no doubt under the torrid influence of its constant closeproximity tothe WickedMiss McGoon... Bill New¬man was inno such trou¬ble ... he ap¬peared in ahalf - beardthat lookedas if it werethe result ofweeks of cul¬tivation . . .Rick (justcall me Fren-chy) Meanaterror! z-ed the femalepop ulationwith a brandof kiss thatwas hitherto belived biologically impossible . . . “Ex¬quisite agong” murmured many of them before lapsinginto a coma . . . Carroll Atwater says he drinks wine theFrench way too . . . and SHE ought to know . . . Hisdate Zelda Solda was besieged by all the men at the partywho were pleading with her to take charge of the MeanaMenace . . . Merri Forrest was one of the few who re¬mained unimpressed with the whole performance . . .maybe that was because her date was Rick’s Phi Psi bro¬ther Bob Finnegan.Did many of you notice the gargoyle on the top ofHull Gate last Tues.? It was sporting a flowing red tieof a most provocative shade ... It really looked quitejaunting flapping in the wind (the tie, I mean) ,. . LastMon. the Alpha Delts adjourned to UT (UndergradateTearoom as the girls tell their parents) where the pledgeswere already enthroned in the back room . . . three ofthe ADPhi actives couldn’t present adequate proof oftheir ages and were excused from the evening’s con¬viviality . . . much to their chagrin and the pledges glee. Betty Fanning surprised the immediate countrysideby being one of the principals in the latest campus wed¬ding , . . The Groom is one of the ASTP boys fromCleveland . . . that makes two weddings in a week forMortar Board . . . which is a dam good average . . ,D.S.Rick and the Pi Delta LETTER TO THE EDITORThe Chicago Maroon:In your editorial, **All for theCause'*, on November fifth you seemto think that the uniting of all fouryears of the College is a near-impos¬sible task as well as being undesirable.Those who will look at the progressthat has been made toward the uni¬fying of the College in the last fewyears will see that the **old order** hasbeen completely separated from thefirst two years of the College. Manyof the students in the second year takethe same courses as those in the thirdor fourth year of the College. The^'Traveling Bazaar** says that tfie par¬ty given by the girls in the first twoyears was **eamly rated the best ofthe year**. Even the fraternities seemwilling to compete with the Collegeand University Houses (jnen's dormsfor the first two years) in intramuralathletics. Evidently many changeshave been made in the last few yearsand more seem imminent in the nearfuture.The proportion of students in theCollege that are enrolled in the firsttwo years is going up while the totalin the third and fourth years is de¬creasing. There are now 292 in thefirst two years and lOJ^O in the lasttwo. This gives the first and secondyears about 21f^Q of the total enroll¬ment in the College—however, the en¬rollment in the first two years hasincreased since last October,while that of the last two years de¬creased 29 One can see very plain¬ly what the trend is and it should beadded that this trend is not due to thewar alone. *Actually the above figures underes¬timate the importance of the firsttwo years of the College. It is estimat¬ed that about 200 persons out of thelOJ^O now in the last two years cameup through the first two years. Thatwould make or over a third ofthetotal College enrollment, that isor has been in the first two^years.That large a group of students can¬not be ignored the way some organiza¬tions are doing.Since it is the aim of the adminis¬tration to make a united College outof the present one, which consists oftwo units separated in several ways,it would seem that student activities,such as the **Carillon**, which contrib-Counterpoint(Continued from page one)At this point, “Counterpoint’s”plans for the future are nebulous inthe extreme. How they ‘can success¬fully thumb their collective noses atthe Dean’s office, how they can man¬age competent news coverage withoutofficial backing, are mysteries not like¬ly to he solved for some time.Dean Scott’s last word on the sub¬ject was spoken over the phone tothe MAROON yesterday afternoon.“As far as I am concerned,” saidScott, “the situation stands now as itdid last week. Unless Dean Brum¬baugh has granted recognition in myabsence ‘Counterpoint’ is still unrec¬ognized. Its only hope is publicationas an independent venture.”Thomas...(Continued from page one)said, “because of our lack of food toaccompany them.”Declaring that “One son is worth athousand prejudices” Mr. Thomassummed up his words by saying thatthe love of peace should make every¬one willing to sacrifice something forit. “In fact,” he stated, “the only waywe can escape World War III is byfeeding men, removing their hates,and applying the principle of brother¬hood.” • vie to this end are a step in the rightdirection. A literary magazine has aUways been hard to maintain (moreso in wartime), therefore, a partialsubsidy seems appropriate at thistime. Contrary to certain reports the*‘Carillore* is NOT getting a full sub-sidy.The question is then raised, ‘‘Whyshouldn't the MAROON be subsidiz¬ed?" Perhaps the reason is that, in-stead of helping to unite all fouryears of the College, it is trying tomaintain the Model T idea of what acollege should be. If a paper, whichrealized that some changes have beenmade, is published it might get somefinancial backing from the University.The MAROON unfortunately seemsto think that the College can never beunited. I say—it can happen here!SincerelyCharlie SchwartzHillel—The Jewish Student Or¬ganization reminds you of the In¬formal Dance—Sun., No. 15th 3:00-6:00 in Ida Noyes Library.Refreshments will be served.A.S.T.P. men and students invit¬ed.SHHhhh..BangA little boy came to a town whereeveryone spoke in whispers—andeven the autos didn't honk theirhorns out loud. This is the story ofwhat he did to wake the townBANG! just like that.A perfect book for the child 3 to 6years of age $1.50"Daddy, do you think I'd like thisbook?" It was our 11-year olddaughter. The book she held outfor our inspection was old anddog-eared. The back was loose.You could ojpen it anywhere and itwould stay tiat. Would she like it!It^ was HUCKLEBERRY FINN.Right then and there we wouldhave swapped half the tea inChina to be in our daughter'sboots. Think of being able to readTOM SAWYER or HUCKLE¬BERRY FINN again for the firsttime.Beautifully bound Peter PauperPress edition ofTOM SAWYER $3.55Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary HowDoes Your Garden Grow was writ¬ten by one of the 16th centurypolitical writers as a satire withMary, Queen of Scots in mind.THE TALL MOTHER GOOSE$1.00See the Bookstore window t(?sweek to get the "low down" on theMother Goose characters.Children's Book WeekNovember 14-21Universllv off (liicagoBook Sffore5802 Ellis AvenueMAROON SPORTSCalling all swimmers! Calling alldivers! Calling all fish! The call isout for men for the swimming teamforming now under the guidance ofE. Wallace McGillivray. Many menwill be eligible this year who wouldhave been out in the past. Medicalstudents not in uniform (if there aresuch things) and Divinity studentsmay compete. Freshmen are indeedwelcome also. “Some fellows have theidea they gotta be champions orsomethin” moans Coach McGillivrayin tones that sound hollow in the longIda Noyes swimming pool where theteam is meeting for practice everyMonday, Wednesday and Friday.“I promise to give every man whoturns out an honest evaluation of hischances on the team and also a fewpointers on how to improve his form,stroke, or ‘wind’ ” says “Mac”. Fel¬lows that wouldn’t have rated in for¬mer years stand a good chance thisyear because of conditions in otherBig Ten schools. All conference swim¬ming teams will be much weakenedby the war and their schedules willbe shorter and closer home.It is unfortunate that Water-Polo isbeing abandoned this year by the BigTen. Chicago, almost a perennialchampion in this rough sport, wouldprobably take honors again this year.Although only one call has been sentout previous to this one, a good num¬ber of fellows have turned out. Manyare just “interested” at first but soonbegin to get enthusiastic. Two free-stylers; Jim Ritter, a tall curly hairedCalifornian, has the makings of agood swimmer according to MacGil-livray, and William Escoube, formerU High athlete who competed in manysports, show promise. Ned Suebi, Or¬lando Ponzie, Bob Slayton, and SandySulcer have also signed up. RichardYamuchi, of Hawaii, looks very goodin the sprints.More men are needed however andexperience is not particularly neces¬sary. Coach MacGillivray says, “Dropinto the Swimming pool in Ida anyMonday, Wednesday, or Friday from3 to 6 o’clock and go swimming.” Anymales can swim at those hours forrecreation until the regular swimmingpractice starts anyway. The pool isfairly warm and there are plenty oftowels if any freshmen are not ac¬quainted with the place.The following are the scores up toyesterday afternoon of the intramuraltouch ball games.Dukes-6-University House 0Maroon-6—ZBT-0Phi Sig-6—Phi Gam-2 (last play of. .game Phi Sig scored on long pass)Alpha Delt-College Ponies postponedThursdayMaroon-1—Phi Gam-0 (forfeit)University House-6—-College Ponies-0Alpha *Delt-0—ZBT-0 (tied—to beplayed off laterPhi Sig-6—Dukes-6 (tied—to be play¬ed off later) •CLASSIFIED AD ADS, WANTED TO BUYApartment building near University campus.Owner contbct: Mr, Hersberger, 8560 W.Iranklin Blvd., Kedzie 5667.HELP WANTED MALEPart time driving Hyde Park and South^ore. A.M. hours. 7:30-9:16, 11:80-12:46.TwiJl '■‘ccept men for either shift alone. Phonedor. 6626 or SAG. 6629. STANDINGSW LMaroons 5 0College Ponies 3 2Phi Gam 3 2Dukes 2 2Phi Sig 2 2ZBT 1 1University House 2 4Alpha Delt 0 3FOR SALEofficer’s beaver overcoat, like new.g>ize 88. Call Hyde Park 1680 for appointment. Bionci DeridesAllied PolicyIn Coop Speech“Why didn’t the Allies take advan¬tage of the confusion arising from thefal of Mussolini?” asked ProfessorRienzo Bianci in a free public lecturesponsored by the Ellis Student Co¬operative last night in the Social Sci¬ence building. “The Germans had fourdivisions in Italy when Mussolini fell,but 40 days later, when the armisticewas signed, they had 26 divisions inItaly. Why wasn’t the Brenner Passbombed by the Allies during that pe¬riod?”Professor Bianci, ex-carpenter, in¬structor in Social Sciences at the Uni¬versity, has long been active in Ital¬ian American activities. He is nowvice-president and regional director ofthe Mazzini Society, and makes regu¬lar Italian-language broadcasts inChicago.This lecture, part of the Ellis Stu¬dent Cooperative’s fall lecture series,will be followed by a panel of local la¬bor leaders of both A.F.L. and C.I.O.on “Labor—the Home Front Battle”on November 26, and Professor OscarLange of the University Economicsdepartment on “Post-War Relations ofthe Allies and Russia” on December9.Because of the war, Ellis StudentCooperative, a campus cooperativecafeteria, now including among itsmembers University faculty, alumni,employees, and the general public.4 MONTH INTENSIVESecretarial Course forCOLLEGE STUDENTS and GRADUATESA thorough, intensive, secretarialcourse — starting February, July,October. Registration now open,★Regular day and evening schoolthroughout the year. Catalog.A SCHOOL OF BUSINESSPSEFESRCD BY COLLEGE MEN AND WOMENTHE GREGG COLLEGEPresident, John Robert Gregg, S.C.D.Director, Pool M. Poir, M.A.6 N. Michigan Avn. Telephone: STAte 1881 Chicago, Hi.Phone Midway 7447We Call and DeliverMAX BROOKUNIFORM REPAIRING ANDCLEANING EXPERTLY DONETAILOR and CLEANER1013 East 61st StreetDelicious Sea Food—^^Fresh Shrimps a* la Newburg—Served on Toast in Casserole with Long BranchPotatoes 75c*'A Specialty AtAlexander's Restaurants1137 and 1376 E. 63rd Street Moliere SpunIn Grave ByCollege ActorsBy HELEN PANARETOSLast week, Friday, November 6,1943, at 8:00 p.m. in Mandel Hall, theFour Year College presented its lastdramatic offering, a rendition of Mo-liere’s “The Imaginary Invalid.” Theplay was very bad. As written by Mo¬liere, it is a great piece of literature,a ‘classic’, and a fine example ofFrench drama in the Seventeenth cen¬tury. It is also a good exercise for am¬ateur practice. It is not a play to bepresented to a modem, sophisticatedaudience, especially not when the ad¬mission price is fifty-five cents.Roughly, the plot revolves aroundthe antics of a hypochondriac, hisviews of the medical profession, andhis elder daughter’s love affair. Mo-liere’s opinion of the medics is not oneshared or appreciated by this gener¬ation; consequently, long stretches ofthe play were boring to the nth de¬gree. In an effort to overcome thishandicap, David Cates, as the hypo¬chondriac, was forced into a most id¬iotic exhibition of sloppy slapstick.Outstanding performances weregiven by Harriet Panos, who playedthe part of the maid with verve andimagination; Frank Bayne .who stolethe second act with his interpretationof Dr. Defois’ son; and George Drew,who was suave, polished, and fluentas Dr. Purjon. Ruth Komhauser was‘sweet’ and winning as Angelique;Jack Mathis, as her would-be lover,was a scrubbed-looking, downy hairedyouth. Most of the rest of the playersmanaged not to mangle their parts toobadly, and kept out of the way.It is alleged that Jere C. Mickel,director, is not an amateur; yet itseemed to this reviewer that hebungled most amateurishly in spots.Had a little restraint been used, theplay would have been less of a head¬ache. There is a school of thoughtwhich belives that the label ‘classic’automatically insures the success ofa presentation. However, the choiceof the ‘classic’ is of paramount impor¬tance. Some of Moliere’s other playshave more to offer a modern audiencethan does “Imaginary Invalid,” buteven it need not have been so bad. •Page ThreeU.T.Complete Selectionof Beers andOther BeveragesMIDway 0524Blatz and Siebens Beer1131-1133 E. 55th St.In MemoriamInternational Student'sDayNov. 17, 7:30 P.M.Oriental InstituteAmerican Youth forDemocracyandChapel Union Int House CelebratesEleventh AnniversaryThat the University has establisheda Committee on World Affairs forstudying the possibilities, problemsand promises of a program of worldunderstanding was announced by Pro¬fessor John A. Wilson, director of theOriental Institute, in his address atInternational House at the celebrationof its eleventh anniversary last Wed¬nesday evening.Representatives of 30 countries aswell as members of the armed forcesat the University were present to par¬ticipate in International House Daywhich also marked the eleventh anni¬versary of the Chicago house.Throughout the country simultaneouscelebrations were held among Inter¬national House groups’ alumni.“As far as the United States is con¬cerned,” declared Mr. Wilson, at thecommemoration service, “there neverwas a time of so great an opportunityto build world understanding. The ex¬act nature of the work of such a com¬mittee and the possible volume ofsuch work within a single universityare as yet uncertain. But there needbe no uncertainty that studies of con¬temporary world cultures in their in¬terrelations are a proper function ofa modern university. Indeed, insofaras the goal of a university is the dis¬covery of the truth, it cannot escapethe responsibility for discovering thetruth about our contemporary friendsand neighbors.”The International House in NewYork City was founded in 1924 byJohn D. Rockefeller, Jr. after about14 years of work had been done amongthe foreign students there. Mr. andMrs. Edmonds of New York beganthe movement by entertaining foreignstudents in their home. They, in turn,interested Mr. Rockefeller in thebuilding of the houses. The Universityof Chicago International House was founded in 1932 following the erectionof the houses in New York, Berkely,California, and in Paris. It has beenreported that Nazi officers are now oc¬cupying the luxurious Paris house.The celebration last Wednesdayhere was held in the Home Room typ¬ifying the intimate atmosphere of theInternational House group movement.Send Her . . .A CORSAGEfromMITZIE'SFlower Shop"Flowersfor alloccasions"1301 E. 55th StreetMidway 4020-4021 WAC InitiatesBook DriveFor Soldiers ^Ambitious and farsighted and keyedto the times the University War Ac¬tivities Committee is up and at itagain. The annual Books for Service¬men Campaign, headed by Nancy El¬liott, gets under way next Monday,Novembed 15. Starting then and fortwo weeks following the WAC willpress its drive for books specificallyfor the A.S.T.P. now stationed at the61st street Armory. Those barrels yousee in Kent, Cobb, Foster, Mandel—everywhere will be for your contribu¬tions of books and magazines. Andnone of that tossing in of some olddictionary you were ready to throwout, or the set of “Rover Boys” pick¬ing up dust in the attic. What theywant and what you v/ant to give themare the kind of books you own andlike. Don’t make it junk, make it agift, and get those barrels filled!c New undtr-arm oCream DeodorantsafelyStops Perspiration!• Does not roc dresses or men'sshirts. Does not irritate skin.2a No waiting to dry. Can be usedright after shaving.3a Instantly stops perspiration for1 to 3 days. Frevents odor.4. A pure, white, greaseless,stainless vanishing cream.5. Awarded Approval Seal ofAmerican Institute of Launder-in^ for being harmless to39^ ajarAl«>lnl04andS9^jar.*.Good Housokotpin; RRRIDWOODWORTH'SSUGGEST THESE BOOKS. THEY SHOULD BE ON YOURBOOKSHELF—BORGESE — Common Cause $3.5COTTLEY — New World A-Coming 3.0CSHAPLEY — A Treasury of Science 3.95HUTCHINS — Education For Freedom I.5CADAMIC — My Native Land 3.75CARLSON — Under Cover 3.5CKAHLER — Man the Measure 5.00SEAGAVE — Burma Surgeon 3.00FOSDICK — On Being a Real Person 2.50McKEON — Basic Works Aristotle 5.002.752.753.00MARQUAND — So Little Time {FictionFARRELL — My Days of Anger (FictionBAUM — The Weeping Wood (FictionPRIESTLY — Daylight cn Saturday (Fiction) 2.50WOODWORTH'SBOOK STOREmmrnmm "#{5*Page Four^— ——Milt Mayer,,,(Continued from page one)myself.’ I used to cover 2-11 fires forthe Chicago Evening American, a 2-11 fire being a fire in a garbage canin an alley. Then when I came homefrom a day’s work my friends wouldask me, ‘Mayer, you’re a journalist—tell us the real inside dope on theLeague jof Nations,’ which I wouldthen proceed to do. And that as far asI can make out is the sole advantageto being a newspaper man—the factthat you can speak with authority onthings you don’t know anythingabout.”Turning to more serious matters, weasked Mr. Mayer what he thoughtof the battle Mr. Hutchins was wag¬ing to reform the universities of thecountry, and what he thought of Mr.Hutchins’ opponents.“I think either Mr. Hutchins willwin his battle to install education inthe schools, or, if he doesn’t, I thinkthe world will be lost, because I be¬lieve that it can’t be saved withouteducation. From what I have beenable to make out through carefulreading of Mr. Hutchins’ writings,and avoiding the writings of his op¬ponents, Mr. Hutchins is one of adozen or so men in his profession whoare trying to install education in theschools: I think a lot of people areopposed to him primarily becai'cethey’re normal, well-adjusted indi¬viduals; and normal, well-adjusted in¬dividuals like things the way theyare. Mr. Hutchins wants to changethings.”“Which makes him not normal andnot well-adjusted?”“By definition.” He nodded.STUDENTSChristmas WorkIf you can spare two or three daysa week, an excellent opportunityawaits you at Mandel Brothers. Wecan place you in either a selling ornon-selling position. Experience notnecessary. We will train you. Goodsalary. Storewide discount privil¬eges. Earn that money here thatyou need for tuition or Christmasgifts. Apply employment office,11th floor, Wabash.MANDEL BROTHERSState and Madison “What is your philosophy of life,Mr. Mayer?”“What do you mean by a philoso¬phy, of life young lady? I don’t knowwhat that means. Does it mean, whatdo you do when your wife elopeswith the plumber?”“Your wife hasn’t eloped with theplumber, has she?”“No. Like everybody else in theworld I set for myself the rules ofMicah, Isaiah, Socrates, Jesus, andEugene V. Debs; but I can’t think ofany instance in which I’ve lived ac¬cording to the rules. I’m strongly infavor of the moral virtues. I believethat doing good is more interestingand spicy than doing evil; and stillI don’t do much good. But you wereasking me what I believe. That’s whatI believe. I think if someone doesn’tstart living up to Mayer’s gloriousprinciples pretty soon we willachieve the ideal which Oscar Amer-inger once described as ‘being power¬ful enough to blow our own headsoff.’ ”I read the last paragraph back tohim just to be sure I had it down cor¬rectly. “Is that accurate?” I askedwhen I flnished.Plagarism? Why Sure!“Obscure,” he said, “but accurate.”But what you should do instead of in¬terviewing me on that is to read thebooks I steal my ideas from: Gulli¬ver’s Travels, Woodrow Wilson’s let¬ters and addresses prior to the fallof 1916, and R. H. Tawney’s Aquisi-tive Society. All my ideas are stolenfrom somebody else. Every idea Iever had that was original turned outto be wrong. I tried to understandwhat my superiors were talking about.I am not being modest. I think thatapplies to nearly everybody else, too.” While we were pondering furtherquestions, Mr. Mayer stuck a sheetof yellow paper in the typewriter andproceeded to peck violently at samemachine, using the two-index-fingerssystem. During the interim we tookstock of the furnishings in what hecalled his ‘little home away fromhome’. There were three pairs ofskiis, three violins, and one stuffedbuzzard, as well as a comfortable bou¬doir chair and footstool, and a coupleof throw rugs, all making a very cozyatmosphere. The buzzard bore aplaque which read as follows:“Affectionately dedicated to RobertMaynard Hutchins. Feasts on thedead. Ignores the living. Solitary scav¬enger. Respected but unloved. Fails torecognize change. Indifferent to thewonders of science, including 22 auto¬matic rifle. Ineducable.” This remark¬able specimen of the common buzzard,the first ever mounted for a privatecollection, was brought down at break¬fast between Selma and Uniontown,Ala., by Mr. Mayer, assisted by sev¬eral “Teppers”, or native beatersDec. 26, 1939.”Secrets of the Bow Tie“Why do you wear a bow tie, Mr.Mayer?”“Because Mr. Hutchins wears one.I wore them when Frank Sinatra wasin knee pants and when Mr. Hutchinswas still good-looking.”Mr. Mayer left with us two mes¬sages to be delivered to the worldthrough the columns of the Maroon:(1) Do your home-work—unlike me—and—unlike me—keep away from theMaroon. I wouldn’t be in my presentplight, which is ignorance, if I hadfollowed my present advice. (2) I amopposed to capitalism in all its forms,including the right of a man to enjoythe fruits of his own labor. I am evenIN THE ARMED FORCES?SAFECUARD YOUR MONEYThere’s one sure way to safeguard your travel cash, and that is withAMERICAN EXPRESS TRAVELERS CHEQUES. You not only havespendable money, but in addition SAFE MONEY, for if lost or stolen,their value is refunded in full.Issued in denominations of $10, $20, $50 and $100. Cost 75^ for each$100. Minimum cost of 40^ for $10 to $50. For sale at banks and RailwayExpress Offices.AMERICAN EXPRESSTRAVELERS CHEQUESHave a “Coke”= Good winds have blown you here.•.a way to say **We are friends” to the ChineseChina knew Coca-Cola before the war. Where Coca-Cx>la is on handtoday, to Chinese and Yank alike. Have a “Cbie” are welcomewords. Around the globe Coca-Cola stands for the pause that re-freshes,--h.zs become a sym’ool of good will.BOTTLED UNDER AUTHORITY Of THE COCA-COLA COMPANY BYCOCA COLA BOTTLING CO., OF CHICAGO. INC. «(>>ke” s Coca-ColaIt's natural for ix>pular namcato acquire friendly abbrevla*tions. That's why you heatcalled ^'c5oke". 6ieo> more oppoeerd to the right of a manto enjoy the fruits of any one else’slabor; and I am most violently oppos¬ed to widows and orphans whose hus¬bands and fathers provided them withbanks and railroads.” zGod bless you, Mr. Mayer. You havea captivating manner, bushy blackeyebrows, and I like you.Kissable PatriciaOf "Kiss and Tell"18-year-old Patricia Kirkland, har¬assed young heroine of George Ab¬bott’s comedy production, “Kiss andTell”, smiled warmly over a scrap ofKleenex. She was perched amid amess of theatrical clutter, telling twonervous would-be interviewers the de¬tails of her catapult on to the profes¬sional stage. Cordially frank and withno vestige of artificiality. Miss Kirk¬land appeared to be nothing more un¬usual than an extremely attractivecollege freshman.She explained how, previous to hergraduation from Friends Seminary,she had been “hanging around” aNew England summer theatre whenthe business manager informed hershe was to play Ilka Chase’s daugh¬ter in “Susan and God”. “I told him I hadn’t had a tryout, but he wouldn’tlisten,” she laughed. “ ‘You’re a lousybusiness manager,’ I said. All he re.plied was ‘Thanks.* I got the job!” *That was only the first job. Hersuccess in “Susan and God” resultedin the lead in F. Hugh Herbert’s ra-dio series, “Meet Corlisa Archer”, andfinally to “Kiss and Tell”. The paceof her rise to stardom has been soswift, that as yet she has been unableto decide as yet between stage andradio. The movies are yet to come.The curtain of the Harris Theatrehas risen on “Kiss and Tell” ninetimes a week every week since May11, 1943. According to the young starevery moment of the run has beenpleasant, each one of her fellow-work-ers “really swell”. All this despitethe presence of inevitable pet peevesof theatrical people, such as neces-sary rush-jobs on make-up and oc-casional cold audiences. Even thoughthe latter sometimes enjoy the per-formance to a greater extent thanmore demonstrative onlookers, theyfail to supply that comedian’s manna. . . the laughs. Patricia’s opinion ofthem:“They’re usually smiling, but wecan’t see the smiles!”COLLEGEMIGHT..EVERY FRIDAYEddie OliverHIS PIANO ANDHIS ORCHESTRAEnierlainmenlDorothy Dorben DancersClover and La MaeAnn Judson, Jr.Dan HardenCourtesy CardsStudent Courtesy Cards may be obtainedat the Maroon office. Admission with card65 cents per person, including tax.MARINE DINING ROOMEDGEWATERBEACH HOTEL5300 BLOCK SHERIDIAN ROAD(