Baflp itajonVol. 37. No. 15. UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1936 Price 3 CentsPEOPLEEveryone Sees, but NoOne KnowsHill MordenBy EDWARD C. FRITZ“I've just missed every big robberyattempted on campus since I becamenightwatchman,” jovially confessesthe man who guards the mummies inblack night at the Or¬iental Institute.“First was whenthey robbed a tele¬phone off the wall inBillings Hospital acouple years ago,” herevealed. “The villainsw'ere caught. Then,when a man got intoone of the girls’ roomsat Beecher lastspring, I reached thespot three minutes la¬ter. He was caught too. I was luckyto miss these gentlemen. But somethings around here are a lot worse.”The most frightful experience ofBill Morden, the cultured Universitynightwatchman, was when a mummystarted whistling one coal-black,brooding night in the Oriental Insti¬tute. “As soon as I could lift myfeet, I got somebody to help me inves¬tigate,” he related. “It turned outto be just a pump whistling—trivial,but I sure had it fixed.”“Outside the realm of fanciful mon¬sters,” continued “Bill the Sleuth” inhis elegant rhetoric, “this professionis rather prosaic apart from a fewlove-birds strolling the greenswardand a few crude drunken fellows. ButI’d Indter not say that; there may bea couple of hold-ups tonight.“The most thrilling thing that everhappened here was when the Phoenixboys took an auto-broncho ride acrossthe quadrangles jCULTUREDNIGHTWATCHMANlast summer. Talkabout Ben H u rand his chariotrace, when thoseboys dustedtoward Lexington Hall they did farbetter than he. Judging from theway they cut across the lawns, thegrass was no gi-eener than the streetsto them.”The “most tx^autiful and most de¬lightful” of Morden’s services asnightwatchman was, in his opinion,when he found a “little kindergartenlamb, named Nancy Blair, strayedfrom her mania’s fold” one freezingnight last winter. She was alreadylying numb and helpless in the snowwhen he came across her and carriedher from the death-clutches of winter.One morning he found a man,drunken and beaten, at 58th and Uni¬versity about 4:30. “He was not astudent, of course. Our studentswouldn’t do such a thing.”In the kitchen of his apartment,Morden told all these things in his af¬ternoon clothes, a pair of pajamas.The air was full of paint-smell andthe chairs piled all over the stove, forthe industrious Mrs. Morden was do¬ing her fall house-painting. She lentan ear occasionally to see how the in¬terview was going. She was especi¬ally interested when her husbanddemonstrated his sculpture work.* ♦ •Morden’s interest in art is especi¬ally suitable for his present occupa¬tion. He knows the exhibits inBreasted Museum so well that hecould immediately tell whether any¬thing had disappeared. As a matterof fact, he got his first position withthe University becau.se of his inter¬est in the Egyptian exhibits.In addition to Breasted Hall, Mor¬den surveys the campus from Harperto Sunny Gymnasium and back manytimes every night. He is the onlywatchman in that end of the campus,but there is also a campus police¬man-at-large, and a squad car, as wellas other watchmen on beats nearby.* *“I do the Harper stacks very thor¬oughly, because of the value of thebooks. I worry about them very muchalthough they are not mine. Thestacks are pretty musty, but theChapel’s the place where the goblinshold forth. Every shadow’s a cowledmonk of the middle ages, especiallywhen the organist is practicing apiece in a minor key.”When asked if the statues in theInstitute look weird at night, Mordenexcitedly exploded, “Boy, King Tutdoes.” He then recounted the his¬tory of Tutenkhamon, the boy emper¬or. He knew it cold.Concluding his remarks on his job,the man who guards the mummies inblack night at the Oriental Institutesaid quizzically, “'They tell us that ifwe stay there long enough, we'll getsomething out of that job—mainly—•Old.” Sea AtmosphereColors FreshmanFestivities FridayBy BARNACLE BILLMarine Music and a waterfrontatmosphere; blast m’ scuppers—it’s anew sort of dancing party.The Freshman Advisory Board isarranging it, and they’re inviting thewhole campus. Even the sophomores.The Board calls it the Dollar DockDance, and that’s just what it is.The craft sails from Ida Noyes Sat¬urday night at 8:30.Passports, good only for one maleand one female per permit, will costone dollar. Any of you swabs canget ’em at the University bookstoreon campus, or Woodworths, or theMaroon office.For them as likes their grpg nowand then, barmaids will serve realcider. And doughnuts to dunk.But what we naughtical men likeabout this thing is the atmosphere.Ropes and decking, ladders and life-preservers. .A-nd even the orchestrahas the tang o’ the seas. They’recalled Kinzie’s wharf rats, and willdo more than squeak out tunes.During the evening dancers will beentertained by a naughty-naughticalfloor show, featuring two sea-farin’colored steppers. And it won’t domuch good for men to come alone,because thar’s a iron-clad rule aginstags.But Ladies—it’s leap year.Horner, SmithThompsonTalkNon-Partisan SocietiesHear Candidates at In¬ternational House.With Governor Henry Horner, for¬mer Mayor William Hale Thompson,Republican gubernatorial candidateWayland Brooks, and State SenatorT. V. Smith, professor of Philosophy,heading the li.st of speakers, fournon-partisan organizations of theUniversity community are sponsoringa program of speeches by candidatesfor state office, Monday evening at 8in International House.The meeting is being held for thepurpose of insuring intelligent vot¬ing in the Hyde Park district. Thecandidates will discuss the topics, “Is¬sues and Men,” and “Candidates inthe Campaign.”Sponsoring the meeting are theGraduate Political Science Club ofthe University, the 55th Street Business Men’s Association, the HydePark League of Women Voters, andthe Kiwanis Club of Hyde Park.Professor Smith will discuss na¬tional issues in support of the Demo¬cratic party. Senatorial candidateElmer Schnackenberg will representthe Republicans, and Martin Fisherwil speak for the Socialists.The three candidates for the officeof Governor in Illinois will discussstate issues.Horner will defend the Democrats,Brooks, the Republicans; and Wil¬liam Hale Thomp.son will speak as aUnionist.County Issues will be compared byState’s Attorney Thomas Courtney,Democrat, and Harry S. Ditchbourne,Republican. An interpretation of“Judges in Politics” will be given byHenry P. Chandler, vice-president ofthe Chicago Bar As.sociation.The meeting is open to the publicfree of charge. Harrow OpensSeries of I. H.Free LecturesMidweek Tea at 4:30 TodayOpens Autumn QuarterSocial Season.Opening International House’s lec¬tures series on “Trends in ModernThought,” Clarence Darrow, emin¬ent criminal lawyer, will this even¬ing speak on this subject as relatedto Law. The address, which will be¬gin at 8:30 will be the first of severallectures by local authorities on art,philosophy, sociology and other sub¬jects. Because of the large attend¬ance expected. International Househas taken the precaution of reser¬ving seats for its own residents. Ad¬mission is free, and all other seatswill be unreserved.A discussion by Dennis McEvoyand Riho Kano of the third Japan-American Student Conference held atthe University of Waseda in Tokyowill be the feature event at the In¬ternational House Midweek tea.Following the tea, which will beheld this afternoon at 4:30 in theHome room, McEvoy, who was a del¬egate to the conference, will answerany questions on Japanese-Americanstudent relations. Son of writer J.P. McEvoy, he has for several yearsbeen a correspondent on the “Japan¬ese Advertiser,” most prominent Eng-lish-lang^uage pai>er in the Japanesecapital.Show French Film FridayFriday the second of InternationalHouse’s current foreign film pro¬grams will be shown, the French ex¬perimental production of scenes doneby actors from the “Comedie Fran-caise.” Featured on the several“staged” sequences will be Moliere’s“Les Precieuses Ridicules.”Without English sub-titles, the pic¬ture will chiefly be of interest toFrench students and teachers, and How’m I Doing? Hey! Hey! Roosevelt HasLead in FirstDay’s VotingCampus Straw BallotingEnters Second Day asRadicals Lag.Eastern Students Support Landonas Straw Votes Occupy CollegesThe wave of excitement concerningthe presidential election surged intoundergraduate life today as 22 col¬leges recorded returns on straw votesbeing conducted throughout the coun¬try. With the presidential race head¬ing into the stretch, returns so farthose whose interest in the drama j show Landon leading by a nose, 12will not allow them to miss this colleges reporting a victory for himunique picture which expresses the as opposed to ten for Roosevelt.finest traditions of the French stage.Although the pict:ire was preview¬ed here over six months ago, Mr.Wellard, who is in charge of the filmprograms, has witheld it for view If these returns are any indicationof the actual voting, the East willstand definitely Republican on Novem¬ber third. Dartmouth, Amherst,Brown, Harvard, Princeton, and Stev-until this autumn because of the great i ens Institute of Technology all record-number of persons w'ho, not present' ed an overwhelming Landon vote,during the summer quarter, desired ! Bucknell and Pennsylvania also fav-to see it. Nevertheless its Interna- 'ored the Kansan by a two to onetional House showing marks the mid- count. While Yale also went definite-west premiere of the picture. ly Republican, results of a debateSSA Club SponsorsPolitical SymposiumFeaturing “Our Party’s ReliefProgram,” a symposium with speak¬ers from five parties. Democratic,Republican, Socialist, Communist andUnion, the first Autumn quartermeeting of the Social Service Admin¬istration Club will be held tomorrowevening at 7:30 in Harper Mil. Rep¬resentatives of the foregoing partieswill present their parties’ programson the specific questions of relief.A short business meeting, at whichofficers for the coming year will beelected, will precede the main pro¬gram. Officials of the club announcethat no admission charge will bemade for the meeting, which is open1o the general public. It will be showm at 4:30 and 8:30p.m. on Friday; admission will be35 cents for the matinee and 50 centsfor the evening performance.Freshmen DiscussPolitical Issuesat Debate UnionA round-table discussion of the issues of the present political situationby four freshmen members of theDebate Union will be a feature ofthe meeting to be held this eveningat 8:15 in Room A of Reynolds ClubLome Cook and Katheryn Parli-man will represent the Democratsand Noel Nelson and Douglas Mar¬tin will defend the Republicans. Thisprogram will supercede the previous¬ly planned debate between a Repub¬lican precinct committeeman andGeorge Messmer, Debate Union mem¬ber and member of the Speakers’Bureau of the Cook County Demo¬cratic party.Since the Republican representa¬tive has withdrawn, Messmer is with¬out an opponent. He therefore hasannounced that he challenges anyyoung Republican on this campus tomeet him in a debate on “Why Votefor Roosevelt” on next Wednesday at8:15 in Room A of Reynolds Club.Messmer may be addressed at Box40, Faculty exchange.Cap and Gown RepeatsCall for New WritersFreshmen and transfer studentswho wish to join the editorial staffof the Cap and Gown may still ap¬ply in the annual’s office any after¬noon this week after 3, it was an¬nounced yesterday by Robert Upton,managing editor.A staff meeting for applicants irscheduled for tomorrow at 3:30. Busi- there show that though they are vot¬ing for Landon, they are betting onRoosevelt to win. Pittsburgh housestwo exceptions to this eastern Repub¬licanism: Duquesne University voted74 per cent for Roosevelt and 15 percent for Landon, and although the re¬turns on the Pitt ballots are not yetcomplete, Roosevelt leads there bymore than two to one.Duke for LandonA lone sunflower poked its headin the Democratic South when Duketabulated a close victory for Landonthere. The University of Richmondand the University of Kentucky bothstood solidly for reelection of thepresident.The Midwest records the closestvoting in the country; the Universityof Michigan, with returns still incom¬plete, shows Roosevelt leading by only15 votes. Northwestern declared adefinite Democratic victory by a mar¬gin of 451 votes, and University of Missouri went Democratic also. Thedonkey reigns supreme in the farwest, where the University of South¬ern California and the State Collegeof Washington both completed a Dem¬ocratic victory, and incomplete re¬turns at other colleges indicatestrength for that party.Wisconsin, while incomplete, re¬ports Roosevelt in the lead there, anda victory for the president, by a margin of three to one, in the Milwaukeeextension. Landon carried DePauwby a large percentage, while Wash¬ington University, in Missouri, is inthe GOP column by a scant ten votes.More than 200 colleges are expect¬ed to conduct polls, according to theDaily Princetonian, Princeton stu¬dent newspaper. The Princetonian isgoing to make a complete tabulationof all returns and will publish the re¬sults November second, the day be¬fore election. More than 250,000 votesare expected to be cast. By CODY PFANSTIEHLAn unofficial survey of the campuspresidential straw vote last night re¬vealed that Franklin D. Rooseveltheld an edge over Alfred M. Landon.This conclusion was gained from ahurried survey of 1,581 ballots castyesterday in the first day of the poll.Voting will continue today from 7:30til 5:30, and run from 7:30 til 10 to¬morrow morning. The ballots willthen be officially tabulated, and theresults announced Friday in The DailyMaroon.Apparently far behind the Demo¬cratic and Republican supporters, theSocialists and Communists seemed tobe battling it out neck and neck.Republicans RallyNearly 200 ballots were cast duringthe first hour of the voting. This num¬ber increased to an approximate 600at noon, and these ran almost threeto one in favor of Roosevelt.Then, perhaps due to the excellentshowing of the Young Republicans atthe rally in the Circle at noon, theLandon vote began to approach thatof the Democrats.Throughout the afternoon the bal¬lots poured into central headquartersat the Maroon office. The packagesw’ere closely guarded to insure a fairvote. An inspection by the Board ofElection Commissioners to weed outobviously invalid ballots definitely in¬dicated a lessening lead by Roosevelt.The Commissioners declared onlythree papers invalid.Women OutnumberedMen were voting in an almost twoto one ratio to women. And over 50voters did not take the responsibilityof either sex.The present trend in this straw votecontrasts with results four years ago,when Republicans won strongly. How¬ever, both votes favor incumbents.Voting will continue today and to¬morrow morning in the followingplaces:Cobb Hall, first floor; Mandel Clois¬ter; the Law and Business Schools;Ida Noyes Hall; Billings hospital;First floor of Harper (near the Westelevator) ; Burton and Judson Courts;International House; and the DailyMaroon office.To insure an honest vote studentsmust present a tuition receipt whichwill be signed by the election clerk atthe time of the voting.Britain Disturbed as Edward VIIIContinues Friendship with ‘‘WallyChapel Union NamesChesterton Dunes asNew Conference SiteMembers of the Chapel Union willhold their first week end conferenceNovember 7 and 8 at the Dune SideInn, Chesterton, Indiana, instead ofthe usual camp at Druce Lake. Thediscussion topic will be “Freedom ofthe Masses.” Attendance has beenlimited to 50 and all students shouldregister in the Chapel office.The group will leave the Univer¬sity at 9 on Saturday, November 7and return Sunday afternoon. Trans¬portation facilities will be explainedat the Chapel office. Due to the dif¬ferent distances involved, the expen¬ses will run nearer $3.50 than the$2.75 formerly estimated.The Chapel council will hold ameeting at the home of Dr. GilkeySunday evening at 7:30.Starting Monday noon the Chapelness department positions are also,Union is sponsoring a student facultystill available. I cable at Hutchinson Commons. Far-flung Britain is more thanmildly aroused. Novelly enough,English subjects the world over areeyeing their monarch with mild cen¬sure, while he calmly proceeds todash British royal tradition by con¬tinuing his friendship with Mrs.Ernest (“Wally”) Simpson.But Jerome Kerwin, dean of stu¬dents of the social science divisionand the University authority on suchmattei's, sees Edward VIII’s associa¬tion with the commoner divorcee asjust another indication that he wouldrather not be king.Story of a Bad Boy“Not long ago,” recalled ProfessorKerwin, “the archbishop of Canter¬bury and the prime minister forbadethe prince to ride horseback—but hebut he did. Now, it’s ’Wally.’ ”“And he is doing just as he pleasesdespite the protests of his royal ad¬visers. In fact, he is quite short aboutit—and there are some who think hehas a right to be.“And there are those who deny thisright. The proletarians of Englandare fairly loyal to their puritan ideals—strictly divorced by the channelfrom comparative classes on the con¬tinent— while the Scotch left-wing¬er is as straight-laced as John Knoxhimself.Publicity is Not “The Thing”“The political death of Paraell,“continued Professor Kerwin, “showsquite clearly how exacting are theEnglish with respect to their publicfigures. They certainly expect theirmonarch, their moral exemplar, thehead of the established church, tokppp bio evtr^-curricular activitiesto himself.” Concrete evidence of the publicstand on the questions is indicated byParliament in its consistent refusalby large majorities to liberalize di¬vorce rulings.“The fact is that ‘Wally’ is a ladywith more than one husband,” saidProfessor Kerwin. “If she had onlyone that might have been different.As it is,—and with Queen Mary’sattitude what it is—what goes on inthe royal household must be prettyterrible.”Industrial RelationsConference FeaturesLeading ExecutivesOffering timely discu.ssions, con¬ferences and addresses on problemsof industrial relations, the Third An¬nual Midwest Conference of Indu.s-trial Relations sponsored by theSchool of Business and the IndustrialRelations Association of Chicago willopen Friday morning and continuethroughout the day at Judson Court.Emery T. Filbey, dean of the Fac¬ulties, will open the conference withgreetings in behalf of the University.At the open meeting Garfield V. Cox,professor of Finance, will speak on“The Economic Implications of Wageand Hour Policies.”A luncheon will be held at 1 in theJudson dining room and will be fol¬lowed by round table discussions inthe afternoon. The delegates will beled on a tour of the campus, to pre¬cede a dinner meeting at which R. W.Stone, aspocipte of Indus¬trial Relations, will preside.Page Two THE DAILY MAROON. WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 21, 1936Bailg (iRaroonFOUNDED IN 1901REPRKSCNTCD rOR NATIONAL AOVIRTISINO StNational Advertising Service, Inc.Colltge PuhUshtrs Rtfrtintativt420 Madison AvE. New York, N.Y.CHicAso • Boston • San FranciscoUOS ANOBI.BS • PORTUIND • SCATTkCMember Associated Collegiate PressThe Daily Maroon is the official student newspaper of theUniversity of Chicaso, published mornings except Saturday. Sun¬day, and Monday during the Autumn, Winter, and Spring quartersby The Daily Maroon Company, 6831 University avenue. Tele¬phones: Local 46. and Hyde Park 9221 and 9222.The University of Chicago assumes no responsibility for anystatements appearing in The Daily Maroon, or for any contractentered into by The Daily Maroon. All opinions in The Daily Ma¬roon are student opinions, and are not necessarily the views ofthe University administration.The Daily Maroon expressly reserves the rights of publicationof any material appearing in this paper. Subscription rates:$2.76 a year; $4 by mail. Single copies: three cents.Entered as second class matter March 18, 1903, at the postoffice at Chicago, Illinois, under the act of March 3, 1879.Exclusive national advertising representative: National Adver¬tising Service, Inc., 420 Madison Ave., New York; 400 N. MichiganAve., Chicago.BOARD OF CONTROLJULIAN A. KISER Editor-in-ChiefDONALD ELLIOTT Business ManagerEDWARD S. STERN Managing EditorJOHN G. MORRIS Associate EditorJAMES F. BERNARD.. .Advertising ManagerEDITORIAL ASSOCIATESBernice Bartels Edward Fritz Cody PfanstiehlEIRoy Golding William McNeill Betty RobbinsBUSINESS ASSOCIATESBernard Levine William Rubach Sigmund DansigerRobert Rosenfels Charles HoyEDITORIAL ASSISTANTSHarris Beck C. Sharpless Hickman Lewis MillerLaura Bergquist Rex Horton Burt MoyerMaxine Biesenthal Herbert Kalk Audrey NeffEmmett Deadman Henry Kraybill David SchefferBetty Jean Dunlap Byron Miller Marjorie SeifriedSTAFF PHOTOGRAPHERSDavid Eisendrath Donal HolwayNight Editor: Edward C. FritzAssistant: Henry KraybillW'ednesday, October 21. 1936Non-Credo(This editorial is reprinted from a recent issue ofThe Yale News)A Presidential campaign, if not taken tooseriously, is good fun. Extravagant claims byrival strategists, extravagant name-calling byrival candidates, extravagant confusion of theissues by everyone: all this contributes to theentertainment of the American people everyfour years. But, to a few at least, the extrava¬gance gets to be a little too much of a goodthing after four months. A few of us, in curold-fashioned way are becoming tired of thefanfare and the fireworks, are yearning alreadyfor sanity and reason and comparative peace.In an effort to promote those qualities in ourown human mind if in no other we state thefollowing negative policy.It is a matter of complete indifference to usthat:1. President Roosevelt has always “livedoff his mother”; his sons have been arrestedfor reckless driving on numerous occasions;some of his children have had marital difficul¬ties; his wife writes a rather inane columnand was escorted through Howard Universityby a colored man; he has been called a Commun¬ist, Fascist, and traitor to his Groton and Har¬vard class; he says he is going to lead us intoGreen Pastures.2. Governor Landon is supported by Wil¬liam Randolph Hearst; he has been called aFascist and a tool in the hands of the Inter¬national Bankers; he has a flat uninspiringvoice; he is reputed to be a millionaire; he wasborn in a Log Cabin; he is just plain folks, andas such is said to be able to lead us back intothe ways of 100% Americanism, away fromthe perils of Moscow and the Brain Trust,Perhaps more important, we are left moreor less cold by the fact that the Roosevelt Admin¬istration has not lived up to some of its 1932campaign promises. We agree with Charles P.Taft, Yale graduate and Landon supporter,who says that any candidate who maintainscomplete consistency “assumes his own infal¬libility and will destroy his country if he staysin power.” Roosevelt must stand or fall bywhat he has done, not by what he has said.The ABC’sUnchanging RealityThe i-estless modern spirit has not.. .patience.. .Thepeople of today are in a hurry to get whither they knownot...It i.s the same with thought. The philosophershave frantically sought to grasp reality. The realityin which human lives and the human mind move andlive is the reality of a long, unchanging tradition... Tothe old simple ideas...the soul, good and evil, hap¬piness... the human mind is in the end invariably driv¬ en back. How could it be otherwise, since all thoughtsprang out of these elementary ideas?...Do what itwill, the spirit of Europe cannot escape its source. Thewaters are carried through changing landscapes, butthey remain the same. They are unchanging, unlessEuropean civilization should be utterly wiped out.Robert Briffault,EnropaThe Travelling BazaarMODEL CAMPUS PUNK(Reprinted from the Columbia Spectator)Big shot—hot dog—collegiate success—every fresh¬man wonders for weeks before coming to college how toattain the coveted title. With commendable interest inthe freshman’s future, the Columbia Spectator recentlydivulged a few of the innermost secrets on how to “getalong” in college.Here’s how—1. Act “wise.” Pretend you know it all. Neveradmit your ignorance. In the classroom as well as inthe bull session act as if you’ve always known it all,you still know it all and you will always know it all. Ifyou hear a phrase like ’’categorical imperative” or “in¬terpenetration of opposites” or “marginal utility,” nodyour head wisely, and if you must speak, say “to besure.” Not until you’ve encountered William CornellCasey will you be able to end all discussions with “it’sjust a gindesthetic sequense.” Never say “I don’tknow.” Only professors and graduate students say “Idon’t know.”2. Learn the language. Now that you’re in collegeyou can forget all you learned about subjects and predi¬cates. Bone up on college lingo. Don’t say “girl,” say“broad,” and if you must be polite, say “babe.” Don’tsay “I was drunk last night.” Say “I was stinking lastnight.” Call philosophy “Phil,” gymnasium “Jim” andthe lavatory “John.” Thats the way to talk.3. Develop a pose. Acquire the idiosyncratictouch. But not too much. Dont stand out too much ina crowd. Develop some harmless form of lunacy. Gonuts about “swing.” Read poetry by candlelight. Learnto twirl a lariat. If you didn’t bring along a batteredhat and a dirty pair of white shoes, send home for them.If you only have a clean pair of shoes, get them dirtyquick. Be careful to look sloppy. Acquire some char-acteidstic which isn’t too, too utter, but just distinctiveenough for people to remember you by.4. Get a good slop on once in awhile. And if youcan’t take it (fake it). Let your imagination run wildthe morning after with the bigness of the night before.If you’re good at making yourself sallow-faced, so muchthe better.5. Know the big-shots. Cultivate the acquaintanceof captains, editors and politicians. Off the campus, ifyou know the star strip-teaser at Minsky’s or the bar¬tender at Leon and Eddie’s, you’re made. It’s alwaysgood to be in on the know,6. Be a good sport. Follow the leader. If thejunior next door suggests a few innocent pranks likedropping water bags on the pedestrians below, say“Sure, let’s.” Of if he suddenly is inspired to flood thedormitories with a fire hose, don’t come out against theproposition. As a sophisticated frosh, you should aidhim and abet him, but remember, it’s usually the aidersand abettors who get it in the neck. The junior whoprompted you will probably wind up at Oxford on ascholarship.7. As a general policy, cut your classes once aweek. It’s all in the books. But don’t open them be¬fore Christmas. There’s a prevailing superstition onthe campus that if you go to class and read your books,you might learn something.8. Develop the to-hell-with-it” attitude. TheSpaniards can settle their own problems. The Germanscan settle their own problems. The Italians can settletheir own problems. The Russians can settle their ownproblems. The Republicans, Democrats, Socialists,Townsendites, Communists, Coughlinites and Mormonscan settle their own problems. To hell with them.You’ve got a C. C. exam to pass next January and apoker debt to meet within a fortnight.9. Elaborate on your sex life—verbally. Let thecampus know just what kind of man you are. Afterall, no proof is necessary.10. And if you do all these things, little man, anddo them well—you’ll turn out to be a model 1940 cam¬pus punk.Spring.. Sprang.. Sprung,Have you sprung froma long line of peers?No?My goodness.Then Saturday night at 8:30in Ida Noyes you will attend theDollar Dock DanceNo stags!Ida Noyes $1 the coupleThis Saturday Alumniin the News« ♦by HARRIS BECK(Joseph Pulitzer, inventor of the“Yellow Press” said anything is newswhich makes people say, “Gee Whiz.”Since the University opened its doorsin 1893, it has graduated over20,000 alumni who have made newsby traveling to all countries, by en¬tering all occupations. This is thesecond column to appear in theMaroon devoted to stories of alumniwho through unusual or occupationor unusual distinction are makingnews today.)A few years ago Jesse Harper,Ph.B., from Ashland, Kansas, wasthe athletic director at Notre DameUniversity. Now a cattle ranchernear Sitka, Harper has turned allhis energies toward directing presi¬dential campaign speakers. KansasRepublican headquarters announcedin September that Harper had beenappointed director of the speakers’bureau for the campaign to win thestates nine electorial votes for Gov¬ernor Alf M. Landon for President,« « 4:Thomas C. Poulter, Ph.D, ’33„ sec¬ond in command of the second Byrdantarctic expedition and the seniorscientist of the trip, recently assum¬ed his duties as director of the new¬ly established foundation of researchat Armour Institute of Technologyin Chicago. The foundation wascreated this year as an aid to ad¬vanced scientific investigation and re¬search. At the present time thefoundation has two important proj¬ects, those of research in oil and thestudy of coal in the states of Illinoisand Indiana.4c « ♦George F. Cassell. A.B. 1908, for¬merly a district superintendent ofschools, has been recently elected as¬sistant superintendent of the Chicagopublic school system, in charge ofthe high schools, by the unanimousvote of the board of education. Meriam PublishesBook on PublicService Training“Public administrati<Mi is an in¬strument with two blades, like a pairof scissors. One blade is a knowledgeof techniques of planning, directing,and organizing; the other blade isknowledge of the subject-matter fieldin which these techniques are ap¬plied. Both blades must be good tomake an effective tool,” writesLawis Meriam, visiting professor ofPolitical Science, in his new book,“Public Service and Special Train¬ing,” published by the University ofChicago Press on October 13, in itsseries of “Studies in Public Admin¬istration.”A second book of this series alsopublished on October 13 was “Fron¬tiers of Public Administration” byLeonard D. White, professor of Pub¬lic Administration; Marshall E.Dimock, associate professor of Pub¬lic Administration; and John M.Gaus, member of the Political Sciencedepartment of the University ofWisconsin.Government problems revealed bythe depression and the efforts to dealwith the depression require for theirsolution both improvement in admin¬istrative techniques and more accu¬rate ideas concerning the nature ofadministration, say the authors of“Frontiers in Public Administration.”In “Public Service and SpecialTraining” Meriam minimizes thevalue of highly specialized trainingin general public administration priorto entry, and stresses the importanceof basic university education in theprofessions or in the subject matterfields. He urges the student whowould enter the public service tos))ecialize in some field of interestfor which there is a reasonably con¬sistent demand. Today on theQuadranglesMEETINGSRayute. YWCA room of Ida Noyesat 3:30.Arrian. Room C of Ida Noyes at4:30.Ackoth. Room A of Ida Noyes at2:30.Freshman Council. Room B of IdaNoyes at 4:30.Socialist Club business meeting. So¬cial Science 108 at 7:30.Amateur Radio Club. Round Tableroom of Burton Court at 8.Correction. Jewish Student Founda¬tion meeting with President Hutchinsas speaker October 28 instead of to¬day.Graduate Club of Economics andBusiness. Common room of HaskellHall at 3:30.Dramatic Association, Students in¬terested in working on productions re¬port to Mitchell Tower this afternoon.LECTURES“Naturalistic Analysis.” AssociateProfessor Lasswell. Social Science122 at 3:30.(Downtown Lecture) “CurrentTrends in Marketing." ProfessorPalmer. Fullerton Hall of the Art In¬stitute at 6:45.“Trends in Modern Thought. Law.”Clarence Darrow. International houseassembly hall at 8:30.MISCELLANEOUSTour of Carrillon and ObservationTower of University Chapel from 1to 5.Phonograph concert. Social Scienceassembly hall at 12:30.Talks to ASU onViolation of RightsA di.scussion of “Violations of Stu¬dent Rights at Washington Univer¬sity” by an unnamed student speakerwill be sponsored by the AmericanStudent Union, at a meeting Fridayat 12:30 in Harper Mil.Election of an executive secretary,and a short talk concerning the mid-western premiere of “Black Pit,” aplay of the Illinois coal fields, to bepresented by the Chicago RepretoryGroup under the sponsorship of theUnion at International House on Oc¬tober 31, will complete the program. If I primp, he may get meTransparentMilk ShakeatSTINEWAYS1335 E. 57th St.\\k The Cap and GownUnusual campus photography... modern art... interestingcomment ... a faithful record in words and pictures of yourcollege life . . . and of your friends' university progress . . .A lasting reference to the best years of your life . . .The easiest way to tell your friends at home about the uni¬versity.Your yearbook will give you all the above in the best pos¬sible record of your school years . . . and if you subscribenow, you'll be given a copy of the Student Handbook and theStudent Directory at the regular subscription price of the CAP& GOWN.Subscribe Now$3.50OFFICE IN LEXINGTON HALLTHE DAILY MAROON, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1936Chapel Union,YWCA HearVisser t’Hooft Page ThreePresents Difficulties ofStudents i n EuropeanCountries.On Sunday evening at 7:30 mem¬bers of the Chapel Union and theYWCA will gather in the Library ofIda Noyes Hall to hear tall, blonde,and enthusiastic Visser t’Hooft, Ex¬ecutive Secretary of the World Stu¬dent Christian Federation, from aninternational viewpoint the problemsconfronting students in the Euro¬pean and Asiatic countries today.Herr t’Hooft with the command ofa colorful background of many na¬tions and languages brings a first¬hand account of conditions in Rus¬sian, Spanish, and German youthgroups. In the capacity of Genevacorrespondent for The Christian Cennturn he has likewise studied the situ¬ations in China and Japan.Visit.s American UniversitiesRepresenting the Federation,which includes youth organizationsfrom twenty-six countries, Mr.t’Hooft i.s visiting the universitiesin the United States and Canada.Well-versed on peace movements anddisarmament conferences, he will pre¬sent in his scholarly and incisive de¬livery an international viewpoint ofstudent affars.While attending the University ofLeyden, where he received his doctor¬ate in theology, he performed reliefwork for Central and Eastern Euro-))ean students through the EuropeanStudent relief.\ true leader of students, progres¬sive in spirit, and international inoutlook, Mr. t’Hooft will present tothe students on campus a variety ofyouth problems. After completing histour of the Universities he plans toreturn to his home in Switzerland.November LawReview CoversPertinent IssuesWith emphasis placed on the Na¬tional Labor Relations and the SocialSecurity acta, the first fall numberof the Law Review is being workedinto shape for late November publi¬cation.Grace Abbott, professor of PublicWelfare Administration, will discussthe Social Security Act in the leading article, which stresses the sections on unemployment insurance.Another important and pertinentfeature of the November Law Review will be a discussion the Nation¬al Labor Relations Act, whose con¬stitutionality will be contested in theSupreme Court in the near future.The discussion will take up the con¬stitutionality of the act and will com¬ment on the activities thus far of theNational Labor Boai'd.An election of competitors and as¬sociate editors will be held next Friday, said Byron S. Miller, editor-inchief of the Law Review.Other officers are Bernard Meltzer,Richard Levin, Robert Morgan, andGerald Ratner. Composing the re¬mainder of the Board of Editors areRobert Miller, Benjamin Gould, El¬mer Heifetz, Jack Loeb, Robert Liv¬ingston, and Leslie Wald.Competitors who are eligible forassociate editors’ positions are Ken¬neth Black, Edward Friedman,James Martin, and Harry KalvenJr. Unusual Law Course Has FiveInstructors, Only 20 StudentsBy ELROY D. GOLDINGAmateur Radio ClubHolds Open HouseIn its drive for new members, theAmateur Radio Club is sponsoringan open house tonight at 8 in theRound Table room of Burton Courtfor students interested in the tech¬niques of amateur radio,“Amateurs in Commercial Radio’’constitutes the topic of Stan Reynolds,W9UNB operator, while John Kies-selbach, W9CPQ operator, will dis¬cuss superhetrodyne receivers.Comad Club HoldsLuncheon TomorrowThe next luncheon of the ComadClub, women’s Business School or-Kanization, will be held tomorrow inthe Commons Room of Haskell Hall.According to Jean Wright, president<^f the club, luncheons will be heldevery other Thursday.To the following luncheon men ofthe Business School Student Council^'ill be invited. The council joins withthe Comad Club in giving teas every•second Wednesday at 3:30 in theCammona Room. There are not many Universitycourses in which the dose adminis¬tered to students is metaphysic.There are not many Universitycourses in which the regpilar methodof instruction is to ask the studentsquestions.There is only one course in whichthere are five regular instructors andless than 20 regularly enrolled stu¬dents. There is only one course inwhich the principal class activity isteaching students to read aloud andthere is undoubtedly only one coursewhich so far this year has devoted22 class hours to reading six pagesof Aristotle’s Physics.That course is Law 201. And it isonly in this course that you can learnto play “jigger,’’ “Gumps,’’ and“kazzizis.”TitleIf you thumb the pages of a time-schedule, you find that most courseshave a title, whether it be “Differ¬ential Equations’’or “The Near East¬ern Question, 1774-1923.’’ Either in¬dicating confusion or a complex ideain its authors’ mind, the name ofLaw 201, “Pre-Professional Sem¬inar,’’ has only the merit of filling ablank in the time schedule.Lack of space and not lack of ideaexplains Law 201’s meaningless namefor the course, as outlined to -stu¬dents, ha.'< not one, but three objec¬tives:Aims of the Course(1) We are now in the midst of apresidential election. The big forcesin this country are not men: Roose¬velt, Landon, Thomas, Browder, andLemke; they are words symbolizingideas, capitalism, communism, liber¬alism, and Christianity. None of theseideas is new; in their speculativeand practical implications they canbe traced back through the historyof the European Tradition, and toperform this reconstruction is theprimary aim of Law 201.Includes Grammar and Logic(2) But before we know whetherthe ideas of dead men are true orfalse, we must read their books withunderstanding. To understand in¬volves knowledge of words. Gram¬mar, and of processes of thought.Logic. So Law 201 is also a coursein the Liberal Arts, Grammar, Logic,and Rhetoric.(3) The communism of Karl Marxwhich is the basis of present daycommunism has as its speculative321—Continued maroon hillbasis “dialectical materialism.’’ Henceto understand communism it becomesnece.ssary to understand materialismMetaphysics, the nature of being, andPhysics, the nature of change, thusbecome important sciences to studyin Law 201.Five on StaffThe mixed dose of “liberalism,”“liberal art,” and “metaphysic” is administered by an instructional staffcomposed of Mortimer Adler, asso¬ciate professor of the Philosophy ofLaw', Malcolm P. Sharp, Associateprofessor of Law, Scott BuchananVisiting Professor in the Humanitiesdivision, and two graduate students;Tolliver and Wallace. Most of thequestions and “games” are posed byProfessor Adler. Professor Buchananconsistently maintains that “BeingAward Ten U HighScholarships forCompetitive ExamsFor the first time. University HighSchool has awarded ten scholarshipson the basis of a competitive examination to students who were most highlyrecommended last spring by the prin¬cipals of their high schools.Out of forty contestants, the tenscholarship winners for the year are:Alfred Gentzler, Hyde Park; DorothyKomreka, Farragut; Lois McCallister,Englewood High School; VirginiaMilcarek, Steinmetz High School;Jean Peterson, Steinmetz HighSchool; Betty Reichert, Austin HighSchool; Carol Russell, Austin HighSchool; Helen Schwartz, Parker HighSchool; George Sheldon, Hirsh HighSchool; and Betty Tate, Parker HighSchool.Also the high school awards threetwo-year scholarships each year, do¬nated in honor of Sigmund SilbermanII. Those who held them this yearare: Walter Hippie from Hyde Parkhigh school; Jerome Taylor fromHirsh high school; and Harold Wrightfrom Hyde Park high school, all sen¬iors. ’Two juniors, Joel Bernstein andRobert Smalley, both from Hyde Parkhigh school, received two of the threeawards this year. One more will beawarded this Spring.Just how the addition of scholar¬ship students has affected the schoolhas not yet been definitely perceived.However, Paul B. Jacobson, principal,stated that he feels “they will raisethe standards of the school." is Elephant” and has not yet beendisproved. Professor Sharp bringsup relevant legal distinctions, andTolliver and W’allace unravel stu¬dent difficultiies at tutorial sessions.Student difficulty for today is tofind what’s wrong with the syllogism:My apple is red; red is a color;therefore my apple is a color. If youare not now so sure that apple issomething to eat, your perplexitiescan be increased by registering inLaw 201.Palmer DiscussesCurrent MarketingProblems Tonight“Current Trends in Marketing” willbe the subject of a lecture to be de¬livered by James L, Palmer, profes¬sor of Marketing, tonight at 6:45 atthe Chicago Art Institute. The talkis the second of a series of five lec¬tures on “Current Trends in Mod¬ern Business,” given weekly by fac¬ulty members of the School of Busi¬ness. Admission to a single lectureis 50 cents.Other public lectures series spon¬sored by University College include“The American Novel Today,” givenby Fred Millett, professor of Eng¬lish; “Economic Planning,” by Har¬ry D. Gideonse, associate professorof Economics; “The Pre.sidentialCampaign,” by Harold F. Gosnell,associate professor of Political Sci¬ence; “The Soul of Modern India,”by Sunder Joshi, lecturer in Com¬parative Religion; and “The Ameri¬can Theater in Performance,” byHelen Tieken.Graduate BusinessClub Names OfficersNew council members will be elect¬ed at the first meeting of the Gradu¬ate Club of Economics and Businesstoday at 3:30 in the Common Roomof Haskell Hall. All graduate stu¬dents are eligible to attend. Tea willbe served.TONIGHT at 8:30GREAT DRAMA ... hotwith 1936 problems andspeech. A DRAMATICTHRILLER...a wallopingevening in the theater.”—LLOYD LEWIS,Daily News.NOSMAN BEL GEDOBS PrcMnU“DEADEND” CASTOF70Br SIDNEY KINGSLEYSTUDEBAEER418 S. MICHIGAN. Ph. HAB. 2702NIGHTS (Incl. Son.). SSc to 12.76MATS. WED. ft SAT., 55c to t2J0 Fifth RowCenter* * *By C. Sharpless HickmanDown at the Selwyn theater a mys¬tery propelled by no little ballyhoohas been packing the customers infor about three weeks—a three weekswhich will undoubtedly develop intothree months before the play closes.The probable longevity of thisproduction, “The Night of JanuarySixteenth” cannot, certainly, be ac¬counted for by the fact that it is agreat, or even a good play, by thefact that it has been overly praisedby local or New York critics (whichit has not), or even by the fact thatit boasts actors of distinguished abil¬ity and prominence.Ayn Rand’s play is a success be¬cause it has seized upon the inherentgambling instinct of every American—an instinct from which theatergoers are by no means exempt—andbecause that gamble is not only of amonetary nature, but gives the cus¬tomer the prospective chance to ful¬fill a probably life-long ambition tobe an actor himself.For this courtroom drama based onthe deaths (and lives) of two greattycoons, Kreuger and Rothenstein,picks its jury from the audience, bylot, and pays each juror a fee of$3.00 for his services. And, in de¬fiance of New York criminal trialprocedure—the city wherein thedrama is laid—gives the ladies achance for jury duty on matinees.So the combination of a mysterymelodrama on international bankers,combined with a chance for stage ex¬perience plus a generous fee is themagic publicity wand which fills A.H. Wood’s first local production inseveral years with thronging at¬tendees.But as a production, as a play, andoften as dramatic interpretation, thispiece is pretty shoddy. It is that be- I cause, in the first place, it is not aI well knit or coherently developed mys¬tery and because it cannot build up toa thumping climax because of the var¬iation of decrees handed down by thejury for any one performance. To fitthe “gruilty” and “not guilty” verdicts,the play has two ends—both of whichin the end amount to the same thing:acquittal. Should oar heroine be ac¬quitted of shooting her lover, thejudge says that he feels justice hasbeen done. If, on the other hand, theverdict is thumbs down, the judge,with great ire, tells the jury what adozen jackasses he thinks they areand immediately grants the defend¬ant’s motion for a new trial, at which,says the Judge, he hopes justice (ac¬quittal) will be done.This is a plot-weakening device ofthe worst kind, and does not give op¬portunity for an ending based upon ajustifiable conclusion of the supposed¬ly un-biased jurors. The questionmay be raised, however, as to whetherthe jurors are unbiased, or whetherthey are not in reality so proud atsitting on a stage that they will auto¬matically indulge in a miscarriage ofjustice upon the fairly melodramaticand unquestionably flimsy evidencesubmitted by both sides in the case.I, personally, have no feelings oneORCHESTRA HALL1936~Forty-Sixth Season—1937Chicago SymphonyOrchestraFREDERICK STOCK. ConductorPROGRAMS(Subject to change)Thnrsdar S\f\ rtQ FridayETening vf V./ X • AfternoonSolout: EDMUND KURTZSymphonic Poem, “NovemberWoods” BaxSymphony No. 2, D Major,Opus 43 SibeliusAllegretto. Andante. Vivacissimo—Allegro Moderate.Concerto for Violoncello, B Minor,Opus 104 DvorakAllegro. Adagio ma non troppoAllegro Moderate.“Midsummer Wake,” SwedishRhapsody, Opus 19 AlfvenTickets: Main floor, $1.50, $2.00, $2.50;Balcony, $1.00, $1.50; Gallery, 50c way or another as to whether MissKaye Brinker should be acquitted, forthe play was so uncertain and “melo¬dramatic” in its development that noperson could ever reach a justifiableverdict.But, aside from this weakness inending and development, the playsuffers from another sore. The call¬ing of actors (as witnesses in thetrial) from out of the audience issomewhat novel, but it is also veryannoying in that it detracts fromone’s concentration upon the stageand the problem in hand. Along thissame line, the picking of jurors fromthe audience often gives rise to mirthbecause of audience recognition ofthose picked, or the oftentimes dis¬gusting mugging of those who serveon the jury.MAT. WED.EVERY NIGHTSELWYM -JOIN THE CROWDSREPORT FOR JURYDUTYatTHE NIGHT OFtlANfCJARYPaid for your vole on jurychoaen from audience atevery performance.WOMEN ON JURYWED. ft SAT. MATS.PRICKS, SOe to S1.50Audience, actors and jury takepart in this hilarious dramaticnovelty.Nights 50c to $2.50Good Bale. Seats 50c, $1, $1.50Dramatic AssociationpresentsAndrocles and The Lionon Nov. 4, 5, 6 and 7Season Sponsor Tickets$2.75atFour Plays and MirrorARE YOU ONE OF THE 1.581 STUDENTSWHO CAST THEIR BALLOT IN THE STRAW VOTE YESTERDAY?IF YOU AREN'T. WHY NOT VOTE TODAY? BECAUSE TODAY'S THELAST FULL DAY TO VOTE.Toda'/'s Polling Places:HarperBusiness SchoolLaw School CobbBillingsIda NoyesDaily Maroon Office Mandel CloisterInternational HouseBurton and Judson/////L 1 \iJBiaiittiiiliiaMtiililitoaftIBiliSi ■UiyiliftAllaftiCorresponding figures for the otherBig Ten schools are not available.The legistrations for last year showMinnesota in the lead with 9659 men;followed by Michigan with approxi¬mately 9000; Ohio State with 8260;Wis msin, 6200; Illinois, 6167;Northwestern, 6062; Chicago, 5315;Iowa, 4500; Purdue, 3672; and Indi¬ana, with 3162, brings up the rear.Graduate schools, especially in thethree schools smaller than the Uni¬versity, are much smaller than here,and further the scholastic eligibilitymortality is reduced by the less rigidstandards which prevail on foreigncampuses, so Chicago’s claim to thesmallest eligibility list can hardly bedisputed.* * ♦Even if the student body were thesize of our opponents’, the fact thata large proportion of University stu¬dents live in the city round aboutand spend a minimal amount of timeon the campus, makes it harder forthem to go out for teams which re¬quire a lot of time spent in practice.This is not operative in a small townwhere practically all the studentslive on the campus.♦ * ♦While justifying the discouragingrecord of Maroon teams, the old kickabout lack of student enthusiasm be¬hind the teams may as well bebrought out of the moth balls. Thescattering of the student bodythrough the city is again to blame inlarge part, although the high schol¬astic requirements, and rival attrac¬tions of a large city, share the blame.W A A Lays Plansfor Trip to IiuliaiiaDunes on Saturday.\n outing to the Dunes, the firstof the season, has been planned bythe Women’s Athletic Association onSaturday for all members of the clubwho care to come. The group willleave Ida Noyes hall at 8 to spendthe day and possibly the night atWil.son Reach. .411 those who wish togo may sign up at the dormitories orin the locker room in Ida Noyes a.ssoon as po.^sible. The cost of thetrip will be one dollar.On the same day, Mi.^s Maigucr-ite Kidwell will accompany a tennisteam from Racquet club to Normal,Illinois for a match in ."ingles anddoubles. Members of the team areMarguerite Sioverman, Joan Kam-merer, Mary Karahuta, and SallyChase. Racquet club w'll hold its firstmeeting later in the week.At a meeting of the Pegasus rid¬ing club yesterday officers were elect¬ed for this year. They are president,Lorraine Wach; trea.^urer, SarahParis; .secretary, Huldah Schuele.Members of the club will meet andride tomorrow at 4.Tarpon club, the women’s swim¬ming organization, will hold initia¬tion services tomorrow at 7:45 at IdaNoyes hall for 17 new' members. Theregular meeting will be held Fridayat 12 in. the Ida Noyes swimmingpool. Its g Light Smoke!when Thrilling Events LeadTo Constant Smoking!When you’re excited... nervous... happy andthrilled, you smoke many cigarettes withoutthinking about it. Make your choice a lightsmoke. Smoke Luckies—for Luckies are alight smoke of rich, ripe-bodied tobacco. Theyare made of the center leaves of the finesttobaccos that money can buy. And they arethe only cigarette in which you’ll find the all-important throat protection of the ’’Toasting’*process. Yes, the only cigarette. Lucky Strike... the fine-tasting cigarette ... the cigarettethat ’’lives happily ever-after” with your throat.* * “SWEEPSTAKES ” FLASH! ^ *17 Winners in Alaskaand Honolulu!Eleven men and women in far offHonolulu and six way up north inAlaska know their popular musicso well that they have been able toname the top ranking songs in YourLucky Strike "Sweepstakes” 1-2-3—just like that. Congratulations...and good luck to the many otherfar-away "Sweepstakes” fkos.Have you entered yet? Have youwon your delicious Lucky Strike.^?There's music on the air. Tune in"Your Hit Parade”—Wednesdayand Saturday evenings. Listen, j udgeand compare the tunes —then tryYour Lucky Strike "Sweepstakes.”And if you’re not already smok¬ing Luckies, buy a pack today andtry them. Maybe you’ve been miss¬ing something.OF RICH, RIPE-BODIED / TOBACCO - "irS TOASTED"Amerletn Tob>eeo 0«»"p*nyPage Four WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1936GridLeaks Alex, Athletic Caretaker, RecallsWinning Bet on Maroons of 1924By EMMETT DEADMANBy WILLIA.M McNEILLOne of the standard excuses forthe poor showing of University teamsin Big Ten competition is the small¬ness of the student body as comparedto that of other schools of the con¬ference.Nevertheless in total enrollment ofmen, the University ranks seventh inthe Big Ten, ahead of Iowa, Purdueand Indiana, but Chicago can safelylay claim to the smallest number ofmen eligible for inter-collegiate ath¬letics since the figures include grad¬uate students.The total enrollment of men forlast year was 5315, registration fig¬ures show. Of this number, 1936,less than half, are undergraduates.The number of eligible men is furtherdecreased by the 600 odd new stu¬dents, freshman and transfer.This leaves somewhat over 1200men eligible, but that number is cutin half by scholastic ineligibility. Ofentering freshmen, almost one-halffail to pass the three comprehensiveexaminations which the Universityrequires for eligibility. Proportion¬ate numbers fail to maintain theireligibility through the upper years,so that the total number of men elig¬ible for competition comes out be¬tween 500 and 600. i He has been w'ith the Universitysince 1912. He has been in the ath¬letic department since 1915. He is aUniversity tradition. His name isAlex, anything more being unknownto man.Intent on discovering the identityof the Alex who succeeded belovedJimmy Twohig as caretaker of theathletic department grounds, I ven¬tured into his sanctum sanctorum un¬der the West stands. After being in¬formed that the grim purpose of myvisit was to get a story for the Ma¬roon, Alex dejectedly complained ina strong accent of indeterminate pedi¬gree, that there was nothing interest¬ing to tell and then proceeded to spenda half hour unfolding tales more in¬teresting than any book."I do know’ one story though,” hemused, “about the time I won 50 dol¬lars betting on a Chicago team.” Thiswas news. The phenomenon, he dis¬closed, occurred in 1924 and the betwas made on the Chicago-Illinoisclash.Bet on Illinois GameThe mini, headed by Red Grange,were sweeping everything beforethem. Imbued with a frenzied en¬thusiasm, an Illinois partisan soughtout Alex and endeavored to bet him$50 to $5 that Chicago would notscore. Alex resisted the temptationuntil the devil (who it later developedwas a sheep in w'olf’s clothing) enter¬ed the picture in the form of the Sup¬ erintendent of the Buildings andGrounds.This agent of Satan persuaded Alexthat he should risk his five spot. Camethe game. Went the game. Wentscore—surprised Illini—21, more sur¬prised Maroon—21; still more surpris¬ed Alex—fifty dollars. (Note: he hasnever bet since.)Efficient ManagerNot all of the pride the Universitytakes in Alex comes from his tale¬telling ability for he is a caretakerpar excellence. He is proud of thestate of preservation of the huge can¬vas which protects Stagg field fromthe wrath of the great god Pluvius.In 1926 all Big Ten schools purchasedthe.se canvasses at the same time, andtoday Chicago’s cover is the only or¬iginal one still in good condition. And,says Alex, “Dot’s pretty good.”Another evidence of Alex’s skill inmanagement is the old Ford truckwhich serves to carry the bleacherboards and other paraphanalia around.So finicky is the “horseless buggy”that only the practiced hand of Alexhimself will prevail upon it to giveone more putt for the cause of par¬simony.PLEDGINGPi Delta Phi announces the pledg¬ing of Betty Abney of Chicago.Wyvern announces the pledging ofGennette Beggs, Martha Lee Boone,and Hulda Schuele. Among the men who are playingtheir last year for Chicago this fall,there is probably no one more color¬ful than the smashing Maroon full¬back, Duke Skoning. Duke is a shadeunder six feet in height, weighsabout 190 pounds, and is probablythe toughest member of the Maroonsquad. The most serious injury thatSkoning received during his entirefootball career w'as the sore kneewhich he got in the Vanderbilt gamethis year.Excels in BlockingDuring his sophomore year, Dukeplayed regular fullback part of thetime, alternating at the post withRainw’ater Wells, and was outstand¬ing mainly for his blocking. Thenext year, after being pronouncedby Shaughnessy as the most improv¬ed player on the .squad, Skoning ful¬filled all expectations and developedinto a great line plunger. In theIllinois game, at the end of last year,Duke gained more yardage fromscrimmage than the entire Illinoisbackfield.This year the Maroon fullback hasalready gotten off to a good start,and has been the most consistentground gainer in the early .seasongames as well as an outstandingblocker and defensive player. Skon¬ing is enrolled in the law school andis a member of Delta Kappa Epsilon Ifraternity. j Alpha Belts, PhiPsis, Dekes Winin I-M TouchballLed by Alpha Delts, three lopsidedscoring games and one deadlockfeatured yesterday’s t o u c h b a 1 1matches. With neither team scoringin two overtimes, Chi Psi and afighting Beta team ended with thefirst tie of the season.With Bob Cassels accounting forthree of the seven touchdowns, theAlpha Delts ran, passed, and scoredalmost at will over a weak Phi Psi“B” squad. Lytle of Alpha Delt,paved the way for the A I) effective¬ness with his accurate passing. Finalscore was 46-0.The Dekes wasted little time instarting their offensive which nettedthem a 22-0 win over Zeta Beta Tau.On the kickoff, Jeremy caught theball and outskirted the ZBT defenseto score a touchdown. After Bealhad run almost the length of thefield in returning a punt, a shortpass from Lewis to Gramer broughtthe score to 12-0. Passes from Bart¬lett to Lewis and to Beal both weresuccessful for tallies.Phi Kappa Psi whitewashed PiLambda Phi 24-0 in the Gammaleague. Jay Brown, scoring twice,paced the Phi Psis. On a deceptionplay that ended in a double pass,Eggemeyer snagged the ball andsprinted across the double line togive the winners a lead that theynever relinquished. j In the best game of the day, ChiPsi and Beta Theta Pi played to a6-6 tie. Leading most of the way asthe result of a touchdown by Gross-man, which culminated an attackfeaturing a long pass from Wilson toDazey and another double pass fromWilson to Schulz to Grossman for agoal, a Chi Psi pass was interceptedby Gene Davis wro ran 20 yards totie the score. Two overtimes re¬sulted in no talley.Th*honey intho briarkoops Iho pipeiwool.High-officioncyCondonsor cloont, puriflottmoko. Tropt moisturo. No clog¬ging. No Iroublo. Rrovo it yowrsolf IREADERSThe tWMPllS DRIIG STORE61st and Ellis .\ve.Opponitr Burton CourtFootball SeniorsDAILY MAROON SPORTS