\, »>■' Hold vfinter car¬nival Friday. dPfie Batlp ilaroon Polish studentsfrolic Saturday.Vol. 28. No.'^4;\v 7^1 UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO, THURSDAY, MARCH I, 1928Contributions to the ATHENAEUMshould be limited to 660 words, addressedto Nicholas Matsoukas, Box O, The DailyMaroon, Faculty exchanKe. If pseudonymis used we request contributors to enclosetheir name on a separate slip.EDITORS NOTE.Mr. Gross will tell us ‘What’sWrong with Everybody But Me.’The grand triumvirate—Mencken,Nathan and God—is to blame formodern cynicism, skepticism, so¬phistication and every other thingthat goes in the making of an inter¬esting existence, according to Mr.Gross. Here you are Leon!% WHAT’S WRONG WITH EVERY¬BODY BUT MEBy Leon Gross..... So I dropped into the officeone day when they were all sittingthere, Mencken and Nathan and God,and I flunpT myself into their pre.senceuttering: my remarks with a low andvicious grrowl.“You,” said I, pointing my finjferat the chief offender, “you charla¬tan, you pretender, you homo sa¬piens, you Rotarian, you dilletante,you ” and 1 stopped, choked withrag:e. “You all think that you’ve beenrunning: this world. Look at it!Those of you that haven’t been run¬ning: it have been trying: to reformit. You Reformers . . ” and I.stopped agjain from sheer exhaus¬tion. “Why, I never have been ableto discover why I didn’t commit sui¬cide when I was r. baby. l/ook at theplace! The tall people are too tall,and the short people are too short.The fat people are too fat and thethin people are too thin. The beau¬tiful people are too beautiful, andthe ugrly people are hideous. Kv-erybody’s educated so that there’sno such thing: as education anymore. We know too much aboutsome thinps, and too little about oth¬ers. Nobody has any relig:ion. Theyokels aren’t yokels anymore, andthe intellig:ent3ia are no longer theintellig:entsia. We’re all groing: tothe dogrs. but even the dog:s aren’twhat they used to be . .And so, I. the Great, proceeded totell those boobs just how their jobsshould be performed. I spared noneof them, not even Mencken. Cring:-ingr, and seeking: shelter behind eachother’s coat tails ,they implored me,beg:g:ed me, to stop, to desist, but 1hurled my merciless deprecationswith unerring: aci J’’acy. and 1 couldsee a new twing:e of oain seize eachone of them, as I found a new vitalspot. Overcome by the havoc I hadwroug:ht I could no lo.i^er restrainthe tears, and it was only my gjreatlove for all of you, my Brethern,that helped me to continue whenSomething: Within would have hadme stop. I left them there, g:rovel-ling: in the dust beneath my feet, be¬seeching: me to aid them with my Om¬nipotent Wisdom, But I spurned themas I would spurn any blunderer, deigning to show them the magnitude ofmy wrath. Finally, though, urgedby Something (I know not what) Icondescended to give them advice,something that I have never given inmy life before.“You,” said I, “are always deplor¬ing the existing order. But yourcomments are vulgar and puerile.They lack innuendo 'and implication.They are rudimentary . . .yes . . .rudimentary. You have built up aworld that is horrible. Your A’t isa nightmare. Your Music is greatonly as it is difficult. Your Religionis a mere sham, the bitter pill of re¬spectability which fond parents cramdown the mouvhs of helpless babes.Your Law is a croaking old manstroking a prosaic chin with weak¬ened fingers. Your Philosophy is thegymnasium for mental acrobatics.Money is stablised on high. Andsin of sins, all your people use punsand epigrams and generalizations.All generalizations are bad.”“Worse than that,” I continued,*(Continued on page 4) FAMOUS ARTISTSSCHEDULED FORPOLISH raOGRAMPaderewski Pupil DoesMaster’s Worksand Own Veterans, NovicesWear ‘High Heels ’In Mirror ShowFolk songs, native dances, andclassical numbers will be given onthe program of the Polish Nationalnight Saturday at 7:4.5 in Mandelhall by the Poli.sh group of the In¬ternational Students association.Several of those appearing are inter¬nationally known musicians.One of the principal artists of theprogram is Mieezyslaw Ziolkowski,pianist. Mr. Ziolkowski was born inWarsaw, Poland . He studied andgraduated from a German conserva¬tory. After several years on theconcert stage, he studied underPaderewski in Switzerland. I^ter hewent to Paris to study and give con¬cert.®. He is now on the concert stagein this country.Professor at ColumbiaMr. Ziolkowski is a professor atthe Columbia School of Music..Among sixty professors, he wasselected as soloist for the ChicagoSymphony Orchestra. His numberson the program will be “Polonaise.4 h’lat,” by Chopin, “CracovienneFantastique,” by Paderewski and“Witches Dance,” his own composition.Walter Janata, tenor of Europeanopera fame, will sing “Kalina” byKomorowski, and “Cien Szopina” byWielhorski.Cracow Student AppearsStephen Jarosz, a Carpathianmountaineer and student at the Uni¬versity of Cracow, will wear a nativemountaineer’s costume and will dancewith a partner who is a native ofthe same region. He will have withhim his orchestra that plays onlymountaineer melodies on special in¬struments.Preceding the musical program.Honorable Edmund Kalenski, consulof Poland will deliver an address.David H. Stevens, assistant to thepresident, w'ill speak at the end ofthe first portion of the program.German InstructorConducts ContestOn ‘Trip to Moon’“.My Trip to the Moon” was re¬cently assigned by Mr. John G.Kunstmann of the German depart¬ment as the subject of 4 compositionfor his German 104 class. As stim¬ulus to good writing Mr. Kunstmannwill award a book, the nature ofwhich has not yet been revealed, tothe author of the best composition.Instructors in the German depart¬ment will act as judges.As a possible turn to the plot,(Continued on jiage 4) . What ho—and hey! hey! All pros¬pective stagedoor Johnnies who wish' a reliable low-down on Mirror’s beau¬tiful chorus girls, hear ye and profitaccordingly!We have almost an entirely newcrow of high-steppers in this year’sMirror production, “High WAR AIR HEROESTALK FOR NEWMILITARY CLUBTell Experiences WithGerman FlyersOverseasAlthought nearly all of the dancersare seasoned troupers, there are onlyfour veterans from last year’schorus. These are Letitia Ide, BettyGalt, Suzanne Kern, and Ethel Brig-nail.Among the new members is RosaliePollack who comes from Fort Wayne,Indiana. She took part in a presen¬tation of “The Mikado” with a com¬pany of 250, and she has studied withRuth St. Denis and Ted Shawn.Jane Blocki, Peggy Newton, LouiseGarrett, Frances Dee, Eugenia Evans,Evelyn Stinson, Courteney Montague,Louise Forsyth, and Annette Herz-man were prominent in dramaticsat their high schools, and some havestudied under leading ballet dancers. Two flying heroes of the WorldHeel.” i War devoted an hour and a half oftheir time to relating their unusualflying experiences before sixty mem¬bers of the University R. O. T. C.unit at the first meeting of the newcadet social organization, the Mil-itaiy club, in Reynold clubroom onTuesday evening.Lieutenants Arnold and Johnson,who have been friends since the war,were the men who occupied the ma¬jor positions in the first Militaryclub program. Both of these avia¬tors, during their talks, refuted thebelief that the German aviators werecruel. Lieutenant Arnold, in one ofhis anecdotes, explained that his lifewould have been lost had it not beenfor the chivalry of several Germanaviators. The gruesome side of wh^tMarianne Durbrow Venable, who the aviators had witnessed was notis coaching'the chorus, says she hasnever coached .such an apt group.Federation NamesCouncil NomineesCandidates for positions on theFederation Council have been chosenby the seniors on the executive board.The junior candidates for Seniorpositions are Marjorie Miller, Kath¬erine Sandmeyer and Dorothy Sylves¬ter, Betty Galt, Petitia Ide, KathrynMadison, Muriel Parker, and Mar¬cella River, are the sophomores whohave been nominated for Junior pos¬itions. There are always four seniorsAnd three juniors on the board, sothere will be election for one Seniorposition and three Junior positions.Elections will be held WednesUay,March 7, from 9 to 4, in the foyerof Ida Noyes hall. Every womanwho has matriculated in the Univer¬sity, is a member of Federation, andis urged to vote. .According to LauraReynolds, co-chairman ot the coun¬cil. The candidates were chosen bythe seniors on the Council, LauraReynolds and Katherine Rose, co-chairmen, Marjorie Creighton and,Polly Mead.The council has also chosen sixtyupper-cla.ss counselors from theFreshman, Sophomoi’e and Juniorclasses, to guide the freshmen nextyear. emphasized. The aviators declaredthat they did not like to be remind¬ed of it.Hold Open ForumIn an informal discussion periodwhich followed the talks both of themen answered questions concerningtheir adventures.The airmen have been attractingnotice as a result of the flight to Au¬stralia which they are scheduling fornext fall. Lieutenant Arnold was apro.minent figure in the papers a fewdays ago when the plane which hewas flying crashed near Chicago.Lieutenant John.son resides near theUniversity.Mattick Elected PresidentFormer Lieutenant Major EdwinC. Mattick was elected to the presi¬dency of the Military club during abrief business session, and a com¬mittee was appointed to draw upa constitution and to select the pinswhich will distinguish the membersof the club.Four enli.sted men employed in themilitary department and tw’o cadetsprovided entertainment. Council Discusses jMIRROR, FRIARSPlans for New |STARS ON BILLClass Systems pOR l-M SHOWNew plans in class managementwere discussed at the meeting of theUndergraduate council held yester¬day afternoon at 3:30 in Classics 20.Standard class dues were proposedin the form of an assessment of fiftycents to be added to the tuition forthe fall quarter, and regular classmeetings were suggested.This method of collecting dues wasproposed because of the deficiency of^e old systems. Originally a collec¬tion w’as taken in the class assem¬blies. Last year the ticket systemsupplanted this method. A decreasein the sale of these tickets, however,presented the need of a more uniformmethod of collection.Plans for the revival of class as¬semblies were also made. Althoughattendance at these meetings wouldnot be compulsory, it would be ad¬visable since they would offer anopportunity to make acquaintancesamong classmates and would promotea better class spirit. With the ex¬ception of the Freshman meetingsduring the fall quarter, there havebeen no assemblies of the variousclasses since the abolition of the oldcompulsory chapel services.Rowland Ha3me8 toTalk Over WMAQProduction and distribution in theUniversity will be the keynote ofthe radio lecture to be given by Mr.Rowland Haynes, Secretary of theUniversity, tonight at 7:40 over sta¬tion WMAQ.“What is going on at the Univer¬sity of Chicago?” will be answeredfrom the viewpoint of new build¬ings and also from the angle of teach¬ing methods and research.“As in any industry,” says Mr.Haynes, “the University is concerned Iwith two kinds of activities. In in¬dustry these are production and dis¬tribution, in the University they areresearch and teaching.“One of the most important andsignificant kinds of research is that Hand Dryers WorkOvertime on HallDwellers’ WashingThe electric hand dryers which Literary Editor ofPost to Appear atBedouins’ TheatreLlwellyn Jones, literary editor ofthe Post and member of the summerfaculty of the University, is expectedto appear as master of ceremonies atthe Saturday evening performancej of the Bedouins, University playergroup, at the Oasis, 5721 CottageGrove Ave.S. N. Behrman’s “The Second Man”was given at the Bedouins’ fir.st per-i formance, last Saturday, and is tohave been the plaything of the Rey-1 be repeated this week and next. Mr.nolds club frequenters during the | (Continued on page 4)past few months are being removed jafter serving their term as demon- ' Exhibit Trophies instrators. D 1 1X7* JIt is reported that the dryers j DOOkstorC WUldOWsuffered an endless variety of abuses jin their trial period. Drying the Small silver pitchers and silverwashing of the neighbors from the • plaques mounted on polished woodhalls was even included in the list i are the new trophies added to theof tribulations. ! general collection offered every year Former ProfessorSpeaks on ‘Japan’Frederick Starr, professor emer¬itus of anthropology at the Univer¬sity, who has spent some time in Jap¬an in research on Japanese history,will lecture Friday, at 5:30, in SwiftAssembly room. The title of thelecture is “Bushido” in which Pro¬fessor Starr will explain the code ofthe life of the Japanese knight, orwarrior.Professor Starr makes an annualvisit to the University where he wasa well known member of the faculty.He is a famous authority on Japanesehistory, as well as one of the fore¬most authorities jon anthropology.He spent much time in Mexico, study¬ing Indiana civilization, their cultureand their arts. He has made manycasts of the various physical typeshe found in his research, and hascontributed them to the collectionexhibited in Walker museum.Sofe of the books he has writtenon the subject, are “The Etheno-graphy of Southern Mexico,” and“The True Indian of Southern Mex¬ico.”Despite the fact that the dryei’sstood up so well under their burdens,their manhandlers are condemningthem because of economic and social(Continued on page 4)El Circulo EspanolPostpones Meeting•El Circulo Espanol has postponedattending the Jai Alai games tomor¬row because of the conflicting dateof the intra-mural carnival. A dateto see the games will be set at theof the growth of ideas of several meeting Wednesday when plans willtypes of national minds as workedout in Professor Bok’s “Dictionaryof Ideas.” also be made for a theatre party to in the Intra-mural athletic events.Boxers and wrestlers emerging win¬ners in the carnival will be awardedthe pitchers. Plaques will be offeredto competitors in runners-up tourna¬ments as well as for other events.Many of the trophies are now ex¬hibited in the University bookstorewindow. Among the large silvercups offered to winners in Class Aand B basketball tournaments andthe freshman cups in the Pentathlontrophies to be awarded to 'din¬ners in the National Interscholastictournament to be held in the earlypart of April are exhibited.Basketballs of gold, silver, andhear the Mexican orchestra which is ' bronze plating are Afferad||or first,now playing in Chicago. second, and third prizes. *' Honor Soprano atSorority MeetingIn Ida Noyes HallTo honor Madame Florence Cole-Talbert, dramatic soprano recentlyreturned from four years’ study inItaly, Theta Chapter of Delta Sigma,an unaffiliated national sorority ofcolored college graduates, entertain¬ed yesterday at 4 in the library ofIda Noyes hall. Dean SophonisbaBreckenridge of the graduate schoolof Social Service Administration wel¬comed members of the sorority tothe University.Theta Chapter is made up of amajority of graduates of the Uni¬versity, most of whom are teachingin the schools of Chicago.Psycho-analyst toSpeak Before GrailDr. G. D. Bivin, one of the lead¬ing psycho-analysts of the countrywill deliver the first of a series oftalks before the “Order of Grail”Thursday at 4:30 in room A of theReynolds club.Dr. Bivin’s lectures will cover pop¬ular subjects, among them “Person¬ality Developments” and “Sex in theHome.” Novelty Features OnAll-UniversityProgramDancers, musicians, acrobats, andclowns will take their place on theentertainment bill at the Intramuralcarnival tomorrow night at 7:30 inBartlett gym. On ihe program will beVirginia Ratcliff', imported for theoccasion from the Mirror show, inwhich she is one of the feature danc¬ers. Russell Whitney and some boysfrom the Military Science departmentwill appear in a mystery number, en¬titled Polo-nise.Friars Dancers PresentJoe Barron, known to those whehave attended the last three or fourBlackfriars’ productions as tap danc¬er and acrobat of unusual ability, willbe present, both in solo work andleading a selected group from hisFriars’ dancing class in a “Terpsi-chorean Novelty.”The Maroon Serenaders. an eightpiece organization are offering whatthey have termed “Bits of This an’That.” Two men from the LawSchool are being featured in an illu¬stration of their art, they are HaroldKanski and Nat Rubell.Rosenthal Gives NumberDon Rosenthal, w’ell-known campustap dancer, is slated to “show hisstuff” between the Intramural races.Fred von Ammon and Orvis Henkleare scheduled to appear in the Uni¬versity’s first accordion duet. RudolphColes, star of campus vodvil shows,is billed for a few songs.Sam van Dyne and Marvin Hintz,with their clowns, are another of theevening’s attractions. Two acroDats,coached by Joe Barron will presenta short number designed to showstrength and agility. The univer¬sity band will be there to play duringthe evening. The two accordionists,von Ammon and Henkle are alsoscheduled to double up and accom¬pany the song and dance numbers,jerry Conley Plays.After the track meet is over, JerryConley and her orchestra from theShoreland Hotel Night Club will playuntil twelve. The various entertain¬ment features will be given duringthe track meet and between dances.Fred von Ammon is chairman ofthe entertainment committee whicharranged the bill for the evening.After the qualification events ofyesterday afternoon, a promisinggroup of runners is expected to com¬pete in the intramural track meet.The prospective Dempseys and Tun-neys, too, have been training stren-ously to offer the crowd their money’sw'orth in the ring shows.it Sports” Topic ofMorgenstern Talk“The sport departments of thenewspapers throughout the countryclaim to have made sports both pro¬fessional and amateur, what theyare today, much to the despair ofthe various business departments whodeplore the free publicity,” com¬mented William V. Morgenstern, di¬rector of public relations at the Uni¬versity and former sports writer forthe Herald and Examiner to Mr.FYank H. O’Hara’s class in news-w’riting yesterday morning.“There are only four or five writ¬ers in America today who are reallyequipped to write sports.” continuedMr. Morgenstern. “The articlessigned by sport celebrities are usual¬ly spurious, being written by so-called ‘ghosts.’ ”He pointed out that sport articlesrequired a featuristic rather than atechnical treatment. Syndicated fea¬tures and sardonic columns haveachieved tremendous popularity.■Page Two THE DAILY MAROON, THURSDAY, MARCH I, 1928Satin liartnittFOI NOKD IN 1901THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGOPublished mornings, exi'ept Saturday. Sunday and Monday, during the Autumn,Winter and Spring quarters by The Daily Marcon Company. Subscription rates13.00 per year; by mail, fl.uO tn-r year extra. Single copies, live cents each.Entered as secend-class mail at the Chicago Postoffice, Chicago, lllincis, March13, l»0d. under the act of March 3, 1S73.The Daily Maroon expressly reserves all rights ot publication of any materialappearing in this paper.Member of the Western Conference Press AssociationThe StaffAL E. WIDDIFIELD, MANAGING EDITORCHARLES J. HARRIS, BUSINESS MANAGERROSELLE F. MOSS, WOMAN’S EDITOROFFICE—ROOM ONE, 5804 Ellis Avenue ELLIS HALLTelephones: Editorial Office, Midway 0800, Local 245; Business Office,Hyde Park 4292; Sports Office, Local 80, 2 ringsEDITORIAL DEPARTMENTMenHarry KletzkyChairman of the Editorial BoardMilton S. Mayer News EditorChart's H. G*x>d Day EditorLouis Engle Day ElditorEdwin Livin Day EditorRobert -McCormack Day EditorDexter W. Masters Day EditorGeorge Gruskin Whistle EditorWomenMargaret Dean Junior EditorHarriet Harris Junior EditorMary Bowen Literary EditorElizabeth Taylor Society EditorRosalind Green Sophomore EditorHarriet Hathaway Sophomore EditorAldean Gibboney Sophomore Editor SPORTS DEPARTMENTRobert Stern Sports EditorVictor Roterus Sports EditorHenry Fisher Sport AssistantElmer Friedman Sport AssistantEmmarette D8'"«on ..Women’s Sport EditorBUSINESS DEPARTMENTRobert Fisher .Vdvertisir.g ManagerRobert Klein Advertising ManagerHubert Lovev’ll „...AuditorJack McBrady Circulation ManagerW’allace Nelson Classified Ad ManagerJames Paddock Office ManagerEarle M. Stocker Ass’t. Advertising Mgr.Richard Grossman ... Dowt’n RepresentativeWilliam F'ranks Local RepresentativeSidney Hess Circulation AssistantJames Rutter Circulation AssistantA.igus Horton Circulation AssistantStanley Dicker ..Advertising CorrespondentC HARLES H. GOOD, Night EditorTHE DAILY MAROON PLATFORM1, Encouragement of student initiative in undergraduate ac¬tivity and scholarship2. Augmentation of the Department of Art and establishmentof a Department of Music.Extension of the Intramural principle.4. Erection of dormitories to attract and accommodate out-of-toivn students.5. Co-operation with the Honor Commission.6. Promotion of undergraduate interest in educational lectures.7. Encouragement of the Intercollegiate Debate.8. Improvement of the Tear Beak.9. Abolition of £'-11 and establishment of group libraries.10, One Sophomore Honor Society. c OFFICIAL NOTICESThursday, March 1Radio Lecture: “Human Relationsin Industry.” James Mullenbach ofHalt, Schaffner and Marx, 8, overstation WMAQ.Religious Service for all members-of the University conducted by theDivinity Faculties, Mrs. A. C. Bro,Lu Chu Fu. China. 11:50, JosephBond chapel.“The oetry Hour.” Dr. M. E. Lam¬bert, 10. Station WMAQ.Bacteriology club, “Poliomyelitis.”Dr. Hov ard J. Shau.ghnessy. 4:30.Ricketts 33.Radio Lecture: “What is Going onat the University of Chicago?”Rowland Hayes, Secretary of theUniversity, 7:40. Station WMAQ.Humanities club, 7:45, Classics 20.Friday, March 2Religious Service for all membersof the University, conducted by theDivinity Faculties. Professor JamesW. Thompson of Medievel History.11:50, Joseph Bond chapel.j Professional Commerce club, “Op¬portunities for College Men in Bank-' ing.” Walter Lichtenstein, Execu-I tive secretary of the First NationalBank. 12:15, Del Prado Hotel.MILESTONESUNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN: The Student Forum can¬celled a lecture by Mrs. Bertrand Russell, on the ground that hermessage was not in keeping with the policies of the Forum. Firstobjection was registered by Scott Goodnight, dean of men, whenthe Cardinal published excerpts from New York newspapersgiving Mrs. Russell’s views on companionate marriage, free love,and eugenics. “The quotations attributed to her,” said the Dean,“were unworthy of any speaker who was invited to speak on aUniversity platform.”PRINCETON: “Slang and the saxophone are kin, for theyboth serve as means with which to express every mood—freeor tense—of the human heart,” writes Dr. Frank H. Vizetelly, inThe Daily Princetonian. Public Lecture (dowTitown) : “Ver¬tebrate Beginnings; The Age ofGiant Reptiles; The Rise of theMammals; Man’s Ancestors.” Asso¬ciate Professor Alfred S. Romer ofVertebrate Paleontology. 6:45, ArtInstitute clubroomUXIVERSITY OF WASHIXC-TON: Six football players shavedoff all the hair of Marion Zioncheck,a student body president, because hesuggested that too much money wa^being ex.pended fUr extras in thegiant pavilion now under construc¬tion. “He ha.s sullied the honor ofour alma mater,” said the athletes.Two were expelled, the rest are onprobation, Mr. Zioncheck has retiredto his home with three cases of wild-root.YALE: The nineteen Yale students arrested by New Havenpolice for distributing pamphlets describing conditions in thecity’s neckwear industries, were cleared when Judge Pickett sus¬tained their appeal. The Judge, however, did not hand down hisdecision without taking opportunity to indicate that he lookedwith disfavor on the undergraduate action that brought the caseinto the courts. They were naughty, to be sure. .UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO: ThePhoenix, a magazine of wit and hu¬mor, today in their monthly editorial,announced a prize of ten dollars forthe funniest article to be placed inthe editor’s hands before April 15.JOHNS HOPKINS: Comprehensive term papers instead ofexaminations are urged in an editorial in the Johns HopkinsNeivs Letter entitled “TheU.^elessness of English Literature Ex¬aminations.” “If the iiurpose of a literature course be to awakenan interest in good literature by bringing the student into contactwith it, the fact that he cannot express himself as glibly as hisclassmates does not indicate that his appreciation is any less.”Ah. such philanthropy. PHOTOPLAYS5 - Big Vaudeville Acts - 5andLATEST FEATUREUNIVERSITY OF KANSAS: A fraternity vote abolished“hell Week’’ after 30 participants in pre-initiation ceremonieswere arrested bv the town police.UNI\’KRSITY OF NORTH DAKOTA: Women dormitoryrsidents have entered protests against pledges promising no drink¬ing, smoking, or boistrous conduct, demanded of them by MissBeatrice Olsen, dean of women. The students resented thepledges and called them “insulting.” Signatures, they said, willnot stop smokers, while demanded promises merely antagonizenon-smokers. “It’s a fire as well as a social menace,” says MissOlsen. Ah, such psychology!COLUMBIA: Dean Hawkes wants a wholesale revision of thecurriculum within the next two years and the probable introduc¬tion of “snap” courses.' “Sn'ip courses have often worked outvery well,” he says, “as exemplified by a course at Harvard whichwas reputed to be very easy and which turned out many goodgeologists. The faculty, however, did not approve of the existenceof any course as easy as this one, with the result that there havebeen no good geologists produced since the abolition of thecourse.” Mamma, buy me a Dean Hawkes. "The Buiiness College with aVnhertily Atmoiphere”Prepare for ■ business career atthe only Business College in cheWestwhich requires every student to be atleast a 4-year High School graduate.Beginning on the first of April, July,October, and January, we conduct aspecial,complete, intensive, three-months* course in stenographywhich is open toCollege Gradiuitee andUndergraduates OnlyEnrollments for this course must bemade before the opening day—pref¬erably some time in advance, to beaura of a place in the class.Stenography opens the way to inde¬pendence, and is a very great help inany position in life. The ability totake shorthand notes of lectures,yermons, conversation, and in manyother situations is a great asset.Bulletin on request.No Solicilort EmployedPAUL MOSER, J. D. Ph. B., President116 South Michigan Avenuei 2lh FloorRandolph 4)47 Chicago, IllinoisIn the Day School CirltOnly are Enrolled ^k (1404 B) aLe Circle Francais, Associate Pro- ifessor Clarance E. 1 Armenter of jthe Romance languages department. !4:30. 5810 Woodlawn Ave. CLijtton S SonsMarion and Lake—Oak ParkState and Jackson—Chicago Orrington and Church—EvanstonBroadway and Fifth—GaryThe LyttonCollege ShopIs Ready!Ready for Spring! Style centers have been vis¬ited and revisited to catch every style trend —University Men have been viewed and inter¬viewed to learn every preference. So here is anextraordinary assortment of new, correct anddistinctive Clothes for University Men. TheCollege Shop is ready—you are invited.SUITS HATS SHOES SHIRTS HOSE NECKWEARThey^ve found it out!Nothing can ever take the place ofnatural tobacco taste in a cigaretteand smokers have found it out!More than anything else, *Chesterfield’s natural t(hhacco taste accounts for itssteady rise to real prestige.ChesterfieldDggett & Myers Tobacco Co. aa and yet, they*re MILDGood percentage qualifyfor final 1-M trial. Maroon-Ulini tank starsclash here Saturday.THE DAILY MAROON, THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 1928MANY QUALIFY FOR HNALS IN LIUTRIALS; GOOD PERFORMANCES GIVEPROMISE OF BRILLIANT EVENTSFinals Held in High Jump, Shot Put and Hurdles BringForth Best Indoor Marks OnCarnival RecordFollowing the preliminaries in theFreshtnan-\ arsity meet which were heldTuesday, preliminaries and finals insome of the other winter carnival eventswere held yesterday afternoon.Finals were held in the high jump,shot put. and hurdle events, and (|uali-fiers were selected in the .iOd yard run.the 2-^ mile relay, and the 50 yard dash.The outstanding marks of the day wereSchmidt. Chi Fsi's 50 yard dash, andHass. I). U.’s 41:2 foot shot.BRUNDAGE TOREFEREE ILUNIRELAY GAMES.\very Fnmdage. ’0*^. former Illinoisstar in the shot and di>cus. three timesall-around individual champion of .Xmer-ica. has been chosen referee of the elev¬enth annual indoor relay carnival sched¬uled for the armory. Saturday. March17.Champ in SchoolHrundage was unlH'aten in the discusduring his final year in schixd and inonly one <!u;il meet did he fail to winboth the discus and shot ])Ut. He wa^a memlwr of the Olympic team, compet¬ing at StfKkholm in 1012 in the discus.Returning to the Unite<l States he wonthe all-around championships in 101 1,1915 and 1018.Rrundage is now a contractor in Ch;cago. where he has erected many higbuildings in the loop.Ame« to A«*istAssisting Hrundage will lx- anotherold mini athlete. Waldo .\ines, formerstar hurdler. .\mes won both the highand low hurdles at the first carnival in1017. His high hurdles record stcxxl un¬til 1924 when Kinsey broke a world |record to Ix-tter it one-fifth second.Major John (iriftitli. Hig Ten com¬missioner of athletics, will serve as headjudge of the finish and Dr. W. J. Moni-law will act as started. Monilaw is aveteran track official, acted as starterat the carnival last year, and has beenstarter for many Hig Ten conferencemeetsMaroons Enter FirstChampaign high school w’as the firstto turn in its entry blank for the Relaycarnival yesterday afternoon. The Ma¬roons will enter their relay team in thehigh school one-mile relay. This is theonly event open to the prep schools, tli.-others being limited to university andcollege competition.More of the 128 blanks sunt outWednesday by C. D. W'erner and R. C.Murphy, managers of the carnival, willprobably come hack in several days. .-\1though many of the schools invited wiltnot 1k‘ aide to attend, the entries thisyear arc expected to suriiass those of1927, when mi.re tb.au 5(K1 athletes par¬ticipated. The results were as follows:50 Yard Dash—QualifiersSchmidt, Chi Psi—5 ;7.Prossen, Phi Pi Phi.Xehel, Laniba Chi.Norton, Teks.Ciumm, Macs.Low Hurdles—FinalsHardy, Unatt.Hudlong, D. U..Mger, Psi U.Powers, Phi (lam.Xorberg, I-amlxla Chi.High Jump—FinalsHoesel. P’.ii Kap, 5:5 feet.Swenson, T. K. H.Haas. D. C.Ingells. Powers. Hamerling, .\dams.Shot Put—FinalsHas.s. I). U.. 41 :2 feet.Foster. Sig. Xu.(Icddish, Unatt.Small, .‘\lj)ha Delt.W attenlKTg, Phi H. 1).2-3 Mile Relay—QualiersI). C.Phi Pi I’hi.Delta Sig.Phi Gam.Phi Kappa Sig.300 Yards—Qualifiers (Two Races)Sass, I'reed.Weiss, Heanlsley.Z<dla, Gumm.Rlock, Pelsick.Shapiro. Xebel.Morgenstern. .-Miott.Ihishell. Hudlong.Kurrie, Fngel.Fai'ey, Light.X’orton, HlackotT. Women To SelectTarpon Club HeadsElection of officers of Tarponclub will be run off today in thelobby of Ida Noyes Hall. Mem¬bers of Tarpon may cast theirballots at any time during theday.Nominations for the officesare as follows: for president andpresident, Ethel Brignall andEmmorette Dawson; for secre¬tary, Elizabeth Galt and Mar-I jorie Tolman; and for treasurer.Irene Rudnick and Sinah Kitz-ing.Installation of the new offi¬cers will take place tonight ata dinner to be given in the sunparlor of Ida Noyes hall. MadiBacon, alumnae of the club,will be the speaker.THREE TEAMS TOGO TO MADISONANNOUNCE 1. M.FEATURE STUNTSThe following events will featurethe I. M. Carnival program:HIGH HEELS—A Mirror produc¬tion, featuring Miss Virginia Rat¬cliff.POLO-nise—A Russell Whitneycreation, by nine members of theR. O. T. C.A TERPSICHOREAN NOVELTY—A Jos. Barron production, featur¬ing the Blackfriar’s Ballot.BITS OF THIS AN’ THAT—Byth eMaroon Serenaders. (Eight per¬sons).DEMURRERS AND DECLARA¬TIONS—From the Law School, fea¬turing Harold Lansk iand NatRuvell.INCIDENTS ON THE ITELD OFHONOR—U. of C. Fencers.BARRON’S BROKEN RYTIIMSand ACROBATIC NOVELTIES.DON ROSENTHAL in person.ACCORDION DUET by Fred vonAmmon and Orvis Henkle.SONGS by Rudolph Coles.SAM VAN DYNE and MARVINHINTZ and THEIR CLOWNS.U. of C. Band.JERRY CONLEY’S DANCE OR¬CHESTRA of Shoreland fame. Meet Wisconsin Athletes OnSaturdayThree .Maroon team.s will journey toMadison to engage in meets with theBadger aggregation^" over the week-end.The gymnasts, fencers, and wrestlers, allmeet with University of W’isconsinteams Saturday.Gymnasts ConfidentCoach Dan Hoffer and his gymnasts,who liave liatl no difficulty winning alltheir meets this season, will encounterfairly formidable resistance from theILadgers, rated as one of the best teamsin the Big Ten. The Maroons expecttr> win this meet, however, and then addanother conference title to their collec¬tion by winning the Rig Ten competitionat Bartlett Glmnasinm next week. InI the last eleven years, the (liicago teamj has won eight conference champion-1 ships.' The fencing team, coached by R.' Merrill, also is undefeated this year. Thethird Chicago stpiad to meet the Badgers,Coach ^b)rics’ wrestlers, ifave had amore successful season than they haveknown in several years. Capt. GilesPenstonc, in the 148 pound class, andK.aarc Krougli, in the 175 pound class,are fijgured as prospective conferencechampions.It Will Surely Rain /Get a Sawyer Frog Brand Slick-) er now and laugh at the storm.) If you have friends keep an extra) slicker for their convenience.Sau>yer^s genuine oil slickers are, guaranteed waterproofHM-SAWYElil^^Son) E.C. S. A. E. BOWLERSWIN TOURNAMENTSigma .Alpha b'psilon heat the Macs i:ithe finals tor the rntra-Mural howlingchajiiinonship last Tuesday by 1.55 jiimsout of the three games played. TheSig .Alpbs score was 2,208 for the threegames. The winning team was composedof Silverwocxl, Berry, Knowles, Fox,and ,\])itz.ANNOUNCEMENT(dur forty cent student lunch in-eliides: soup, meat, vegetables, pota-t(.es, desert, coffee..Al.so ouv food is as good as ourname.VARSITY CAFE1015 E. 55th St.OA e largest sellingquality pencilin the wovld'.toss. At alldealersBuy^ adozen Superlative in quality,the world-famousINUSKNOLSgive best service andlongest wear.Plain ends, per dot.Rubber ends, per doz. $1.001.20American Pencil Co., 215 Fiftli Ave.,N.T.MakertofUNlQUEThin LeadColored Pencils in 12 colors—$1.00 per doz. MAROON - ILUNI SWIM CLASH TO BE IBUCKEYES HAVEONLY ACTIVITY HERE THIS WEEK I HIGH OLYMPICHOPES FOR FOURMaroon and Illini swimmers witha dual meet in Bartlett GymnasiumSaturday night will offer the onlyathletic activity on the Midway thisweek end. The basketball team willwind up its season at Illinois Satur¬day, and the gymnasts, fencers, andwrestlers will give the Badgers some¬thing to do with their Saturday even¬ing at Madison.The Illinois swimmers have wonthree consecutive meets so far, whileChicago was breaking even in four, jThe steady improvement of BobSpence, football end, in the breaststroke has aided the Maroons in theirlast two meets. Spence did not comeout for swimming until the seasonwas well under way, but he has cuthis time until now he is going fastenough to be a contender in thechampionship meet.Tight FinishesComparative times indicate thatthe meet will be productive of tightfinishes, for in the 40, 100, breaststroke, and 440 yard events there isfittle difference between the twoteams. The 100 yard swim partic¬ularly will be a fight, between Web¬ster of the Illini and Rittenhouse ofChicago. Spence will battle it outin the breast stroke with Holbrook.The feature event of the meet willbe the battle between Captain EdFellinger of Chicago and HeinieBADGER MATMENKEEP WARY EYEON HOME TEAMmitred byAroma ofNei^iibor’sTobaccoBoston, Mass.,April 21, 1927Larus & Bro. Co,,Richmond, Va.Gentlemen:This morning I had a smoking ad¬venture worth recording..Next to me in the smoking car agentleman was nuffiug his pipe con¬tentedly. I was not smoking at thomoment, and the aroma of his tobacv-oiii..rigued me exceodingly. For twt h tyears I had smoked. Edgeworth v. ith-out being tempted by any other brand,but the fragrance eiranating from tliepipe of the gentleman beside me wasso agreeable that i could not resistthe temptation to speak of it.“That is wonderfully frag’^ant to¬bacco you have there,’’ I remarked.“Would you mind telling me the nameof it?’’“It is Edgeworth,” he answered.We then congratulated each otherupon our mutual good taste, and Idecided that I would continue to usehis brand and mine.Sincerely yours,S. H.EdgeworthExtra High GradeSmoking TobaccoMadison, Wis., Mar. 1st—Thesuccess of Wisconsin’s 1928 wrestlingteam depends to a great extent up¬on the result of their match here to¬morrow night with Chicago. Up tothe present time the Cardinal matsquad has met four conference op¬ponents. They have won two andlost two.Starting the season with the bestbalanced group of wrestlers in years.Coach George Hitchcock watchedhis boys gain a decisive victory overIowa. This was a great feat—thefirst time in history a Badger wrestl¬ing team ever upset the Hawkeyes.Shortly thereafter ineligibility al¬most wrecked Wisconsin’s hopeswhen the three regulars in the lightweights were lost.Illinois and Minnesota both tookthe measure of Wisconsin’s grapplers,Northwestern, however, was outpoint¬ed by the Badgers on last Mondaynight, 16 to 12. Fowler, a new manin the 115 pound class, paved theway for the win by pinning his man Groh, Conference diving champ, forfirst place in that event. Fellingeris Groh’s chief rival to take awayhis title.Rittenhouse Should WinAlthough Webster and Keiding areexceptionally fast, Rittenhouse, according to comparative times, shouldhe able to win the 40 and 100 yardsraces.The water polo game should be athriller. The Maroons have beenimproving steadily and have lost onlyone game, to Wisconsin, in a hardbattle. The Illini have not been de¬feated up to the present time.SEND OUT FIRSTTOURNAMENT BIDArizona Champs ReceiveInvitationIn accordance with the custom ofthe last five years that the statechampioti of Arizona receive thefirst bid, the first invitation to theNational Interscholastic BasketballTournament was sent to Phoenix,Arizona the day before yesterday.Expect Forty TeamsIt is expected that about fortyteams will play at Bartlett for thenational title. Last year there wereforty-three teams from thirty-eightstates. Among these were thirty-four state champions.Play State TourneyState tourneys are being playedthis week in Louisiana, Georgia,South Carolina, and North Carolina.As soon as *the results are known in¬vitations will be sent to the winners.The victor of the Crane-Engle-wood game for the city title will alsoreceive a bid to the National Tourna¬ment. Oak Park, winner of theSuburban championship, will also besent an invitation. Figure Placing Of FourStars OnTeamsin the first bout. He gained a fallin 8 minutes and 10 seconds.Fowler, called upon a few weeksback to replace Louis Smitz, BigTen champ, has proven a real find.He has won two of the three boutsin which he has been entered byHitchcock. Bridgeman, 135 pounder,by his decision over Rieke of North¬western, gave the Badgers an ad¬vantage in this weight that they havenot had this semester. The Buckeye .state will l>e well repre¬sented in the 1928 Olympiad at Amster¬dam by four Ohio State university ath¬letes. In as many sports these athleteshave more than an outside chance togain world honors.Rose Roczek. Ed-1. Cleveland, whorecently defended and retained the A.A. U. title in diving, will probably enterthe Olympic meet for aquatic trials. Sheis a member of the Swan club, a physi¬cal education swimming organization.Wrestling is .second, and it is thoughtthat Harry Steel and Perry Marttcr willlx* chosen to represent Ohio State. Athird possible contender will l)e chosenfrom Ray Roshon, F. W. Barratt, Ed-3,and Dan Whitacre, ^Med-3. Steel andMartter are former Buck gwrestlinstars and were memlxws of the 1924Olympic squad. Barratt was on the 1927freshman football team, and along withWhitacre now is working in the VarsityGym. Whitacre was conference heavy¬weight champion in 1926-1927.Ohio State has two possible contend¬ers in the fencing group. Captain TedLorber, Com-4, of the present team, wonthe Big Ten saber title last year. Dr.F. A. Richel, the other member, coacheduntil this season, serving without pay toretain his amateur standing.Field and track consumes the rest ofthe material and is often looked to asthe most important part of the Olympicprogram by many sport fans. FormerVarsity team men who show possibilitiesare Harold Kennedy, Johnny Bevan,Walter Wikoff, and Phin Guthrie. Ken-ntdy was indoor conference mile champlast year. W'ykoff is a good distancerunner, with Bevan at the half and quar¬ter mile.Phin BackPhin Guthrie. Ohio’s star hurdler,made the 1924 Olympic team as a sopho¬more here.Among those in school and certain totry out arc Pete Rasmus. Paul Tooley,George .‘^impson, Howard Kriss, Pete.\nson. Fred Strother, and RichardRockaway. Rasmus is the Big Ten dis¬cus titlist. Tooley is a good 880 man,while Simpson won the national inter¬scholastic inO-yard title in 1926. How¬ard Kriss, a f|uarterhack on the Warsityfootball s(iuad. was the 1927 Big Tenda.sh champion.UNIVERSITY STUDENTS *FOhNTAlN SERVICE AND LIGHT LUNCHES ARE BEST ATWILLIAM’S CANDY SHOPCORNER FIFTY-FIFTH AT UNIVERSITY AVENUEFresh Home Made CandiesTomorrowCollegiateFUX AXD FROLICEvery FridayClub KatinkaPLENTYPage Fou* THE DAILY MAROON, THURSDAY. MARCH 1. 1928LA BELLA MARIPOSA(A Painting)To Leonora C . . .There are smiles in your face andlove in your eyes.Glist’ning like Persian diamonds intheir happy state.There’s music too. in the silence ofyour lips.Quiv’ring some broken sweet notesmy mem’ry could not meet.But methinks, those notes with sparkof love animated,Are secrets which your gentle souldid repose;But shy love palpitating with fearunaccented—Benumb the senses to die on yourlips, my rose.Sweet lady, why waste the lustrousIgiht of your lamp.Bursting with life, the rapturous de¬sire to love?Why restrain the crys seeking thethrill for its life.Secretly loving and adoring, yet for¬bidden to love?1Forgive me, if my pen with poisondid abuse.The frankness which my observingeyes lovingly see,—For why waste the years with re¬ticence for its excuse.If your whole being vibrates but lovein misery?For though in silence your tonguedid restrain.The crys and whisper of love, stillcould I surmise.The self-same art of Nature, dis¬cernible as if to complain—For there are smiles in your faceand love in your eyes. ! ing kept right on swelling. ThenMonday morning we hied ourself to■ the University Clinic where Drs.Bay and Swanson, together with anice nurse and a sympathetic girl ina green smock, w^arned us not tosqueeze it. They dressed it in whitegauze and told us to come back thati afternoon. Around campus, peoplei looked at us and laughed. Their re¬marks proved once and for all theI monotonous unoriginality of HumanI Thoughts. Out of a hundred peopleI who passed us. ninety-nine grinnedj and asked, “Who hit you on thenose?” But one brainy mortal was; different. He, unlike the commonmob, grinned and asked, “Who sock¬ed y ’on th’ snoot?”TUESDAY our paternal parenttook us in hand at the hospital wiierehe plies his trade, and soaked us inhot boric acid solution for twenty-four hours. Now we are better andthe future looks bright—OUR NOSEis once more in good running-order.—GEOG.LITERARY EDITOR OFPOST TO APPEAR ATBEDOUINS’ THEATRE | GERMAN INSTRUCTORCONDUCTS CONTESTON ‘TRIP TO MOON’ ASSYRIAN PRINCEAND TWO STUDENTSTO TOUR EUROPE ATHENAEUM(Continued from page 1)Mr. Kunstmgnn suggested the mak¬ing of a will before taking the trip,the building of a new type of air¬ship or rocket, and the accidentalreturn to central Africa. After liv¬ing for several years among thedwarfs of that land, Mr. Kunstmannadvised that the student-explorermight return to Chicago only to begreeted w’ith doubt and considered aliar or lunatic.Finally, of course, the truth of theclaim will be proven or the authorwill evolve some clever solution ofhis dilemma.HAND DRYERS WORKOVERTIME ON HALLDWELLERS’ WASHING(Continued from page 1)Jones, w’hose Friday book reviewsupplement of the Post is widelyknown, is to comment on the play,a three act comedy.The cast for “The Second Man”is composed of Charles Partridge,Harriet Bolande, Lucille Price-Ben¬edict, and Stanford Lewis.There is dancing after the per¬formance and during the intermis¬sions.Admission to the plays, which aregiven every Saturday night at 8:30,is fifty cents.DELTA SIGMA PLEDGESj Delta Sigma announces the pledg-i ing of .Amanda Carolyn Gaudette, of' Chicago.OL^R NOSE has always been in asort of a bady way. Years, w'henwe wore curls and Lord Fauntleroysuits and things, it was a nice littleunobtrusive affair set squarely in themiddle of our face—not a beautifulnose, but certainly harmless. Thenone day we were inveigled into aYMCA wrestling-meet; you can im¬agine our embarrassment when wepicked ourself up from the mat tofind that our nasal appendage hadbeen pushed off (he middle line andwas pointed straight for the left ear.Twice since then—once with a ten¬nis-racket and once when we slip¬ped in the bathtub—our nose hasbeen deflected hither and yon, sothat by now it has assumed propoi--tions which almost justify the edi¬torial “we” that is applied to it.OUR NOSE! Long may it w'ave! Radio Lecture: “Human Relationsin Industry,” James Mullenbach ofHart, Schaffner and Marx. 8, StationWMAQ,CLASSIFIED ADSA LARGE SUNNY ROOM withall conveniences. A suite suitable forthree. Gentlemen only. Reasonable.Excellent transportation. 4736 Drex-el Boulevard.ROOM—Large, well-furnished, forgirls, private home; kitchen andlaundry. Privileges. 5711 BlackstoneAve. H. P. 2349. (Continued from page 1)difficulties. In the first place, theyare an added expense. Consequent¬ly they will have to be replaced againby the humble paper towel.Others complained that althoughthe breeze was delightful, it was awaste of time to have your handsdried in such a fashion. Still otherssaid the blast spoiled the immaculatetilt of their hat.Ergo, the towel it will be again! Prince Schmuel Khaninia 11. Khan oiAssyria, University sophomore, togetherwith Gene Weafer, inemlK'r of SigmaNu, and free-lance newspaix-r writer,and John Knox, Teke, whose colicctio.iof photographs and autographs conteringal-Kiut Baron von Richthofen is to he ex¬hibited in \Voo<.lsworth’s hook store, arcplanning to set .sail for England. June28, from Montreal. The prince liopes.to enlist aid from the British govern?nient in regaining lands lost to the Turksafter the World War.Knox, who is ardently intcrestesl inaviators of the late war. exjx'cts to visitall of the British airmen with whom hehas corresponded, and, as a crownin.g fea-'ure. to interview ex-Kaiser Wilhelm,from whom he has already received twoinvitations. The itinerary will descrilva circle, starting from I^ndon, curvingdown to southern Europe, thence mount¬ing !)ack to Berlin. .Assyria, ruled overby the prince’s cousin, is to Ire visitedand a trip to India is contemplated. GeneWeafer will finance the undertaking. Heexpects to jiav a g(X)d part of the ex¬penses by writing for American news¬papers.UNIVERSITY LUNCH5706 Ellis Ave.fry Our Minute Service Lunch35cChop Suey & Chow MeinOur SpecialtyJ. H. FINNIGANDruggistCigars, Cigarettes, Candy,Ice Cream55th St. at Woodlawn AvenuePhone Midway 0708MacCORMAC SCHOOLOF COMMERCEIn .session all the yearDay and EveningACCOUNTING. STENOGRAPHIC'.\NDS E C R E T.A KIA L T R AININ GI'^ositiatis assured graduatesCall or write for Catalog1170 EAST 63rd STREETUxde Park 2130STILL, it has belonged to us fora long time and we have naturallycome to cherish asleep affection forit. When last Friday, therefore, acouple of dozen frisky bacilli pene¬trated its inner recesses and startedmaking trouble we were greatly con¬cerned. For two days we sat homeapplying hot compresses; the swell- PIANO JAZZr-0 MODERN HARMONYBe in demand. Let us show you the way to popularity.THE RICH STUDIOSOffer an unfailing Method—Quick and Easy672 5 Stony Island. Loop StudioFairfax 9589 Evening Apts. Made. Wabash 7183What Shakespeare _ ^says about G)e4.CblaDelicious and RefreshingOrHELLOAct II, Seen* 3 ^'Your name is greatin mouths of wisestcensure’’ --Othello had his faults. But we canforgive him everything because hegave us a perfect caption for anopinion the United States SupremeCourt was one day to hand down onCoca-Cola:**The name now characterizes a bev¬erage to be had at almost any sodafountain. It means a single thingcoming from a single source, aridWill known to the community.**8 million a day IT HAD TO BE GOOP—— The Coca-CoU Company, Aclaoca, Ga.TO GET WHERE IT IS SOMETHING SELDOMOBTAINABLEFOR SALEBeautiful Brick Residence inexceptional block in Hyde Pk..near University. Light roomswith steam heat. Fine lawn2-car garage. Property clearand will finance to suit. Won¬derful opportunity for Univer¬sity people. Let us show youthis l)argain.McKEY & POAGUE, Inc.5300 Blackstone AvenueHyde Park 8213-14 I (Continued from page 1)“you have created people in yourown image. They are born with aheadache and spend the rest of theirlives trying to blame the world forit. They fume and froth and foamat the mouth, going through mean¬ingless verbal exercises. Conversa¬tion has become the art of exhibitingone’s Ego. These people, being cre¬ated in your own image, take afteryou. They follow you like puppets. Allof us are Puppets, but most of usnever learn when to quit tugging onthe strings . Sincerity has becomethe badge of eccentricity.”“So many of the Puppets havetried to imitate one of the three ofyou that we have all sorts of vice inthe world. Cynicism, skepticism andsophislication have come to bo eter¬nal poses with everyone. Natural¬ness is found only in babies, and thenonly 'during the first twenty-fourhours. You started people to de¬molish the idols w'hich they musthave for their mental security, andnow they don’t know what idols totopple, and w’hich ones to allow toto stand. Yes . . . (and I shookmy finger at them to emphasize themomentous thing I was saying) . . .your world is a world of chaos, aworld that is trying to find it.self in distant ports, when it would do bestto search its home shores first. Loveand hate and fear run rampant. Manis playing with his emotions asthough they were a banjo instead ofbeing the sensitive viol that they are.In fact, Heaven is Earth, and Earthis Heaven. Cold is Hot, and Hot iscold. And (poising myself upon mytoes as I bespoke myself) vanity ofvanities, all is vanity, and there isnothing new under the Sun.”“Science . . . what is your sci¬ence? It is nothing more than thefeeble prayer of a faltering racewhispered to the Night Wind. Itbrings neither solace nor comfort.I Blunder follows blunder and errorsI mount unto the skies . . And stillj the people prostrate themselves be-i fore this false Messiah ...”' I left them sitting there, exhaust-I ed, Mencken and Nathan and God.I But I knew that I had done them a' great service, and through them, allthose who believed in them, or inI their way of running the world. I' slipped a yellowback to a youngfemme de joie I passed on the wayhome, and stopped in a couple of: bars to tell the cops to go back totheir beats, because, in the words ofthe great—the great—er—er—(well,you know whom I mean) this is thebest of all POSSIBLE world.s. I’vehad so very little to do with it . . .YOU ARE INVITED—to drop in sometimeand get acquainted 'with us.THE ROG STUDIOWe spare no time nor effort to obtainthe most artistic and real inportraits.5627 Dorchester Avenue Phone Fairfax 4829e NationalIS no merecatch-phraseYou can prove it. Prince Albert is the Nation^slargest-selling brand of pipe-tobacco. It bringsjoy to more smokers than any other brand.Q. E. D.! Your first fragrant whiff will set yourmouth a-watering.And your first taste of good old P.A. in apipe will satisfy your pipe-hunger as nothingelse ever has. Cool as the first period. Welcomeas the last. Mellow and mild and long-burning,right Co the bottom of the bowl. Try P.A.,Fellows, on my say-so.Fringe albert—the nctional joy smoket IA snappy roadster,a wonderful girt,and a pipeful of goodold P,Ad0 1928, R. I. Reynold. TobaccoCampaar, Winaton-Salam, N. C