' SENIOR JEWELRY NOW READYm Mp iHaraanVol. 19. No. 84. UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO. TUESDAY. MARCH 15. 1921 Price 5 CentsNEED ONLY FINALO.IL FOR GYM CUT?SECRET CLAN WILL PUNISH CHEATERSNEW ORGANIZATIONWILL TRY DRASTICMEANS FOR HONOR TRYOUTS FOR 1921BLACKFRIARS SHOWTO BEGIN MARCH 28Intended to Supplement Workof Commission AmongStudents Cast and Chorus Selections ToBe Left to theProducerASK SUPPORT FOR SYSTEMIF YOU SEE SOMEONE CHEAT¬ING IN EXAMINATIONS AND DONOT WANT TO REPORT HIM TOTHE HONOR COMMISSION, RE¬PORT THE CASE TO “THE COM¬MITTEE.” BOX 133. FACULTY EX¬CHANGE. THE CASE WILL BEDEALT WITH SECRETLY AND EF¬FECTIVELY BUT THE OFFENDERWILL NOT BE FORCED TO LEAVECOLLEGE. WANT MEN WITH SPECIALTIESDrastic meaBures to stop cheatinj?Iiave been launohetl at the Univeisitywith the formation of a secret clan towarn and punish offenders agrainst the“honor sentiment” of Chicasro. Theexistence of the clan was made knowntoday. Tt is composed of an unknownnumber of men and women and thepurpose of the group is to do awaywith cheating and stealing and espe¬cially to stop the present tendency ofstudents which seems to be not to re¬port honor violators.The following statement expressesthe aims of the clan, or “The Com¬mittee, as it is known:Explain Purpose“Because of the present tendency ofstudents to fail to report honor vio¬lators, whether on account of the se¬verity of the penalties administeredby the Honor commission or becauseof a per\’erted sense of student loyal¬ty, we have formed a committee, theonly purpose of which shall be to makethe campus thoroughly honest in allthings. Those who see cheating go¬ing on may report this to us throughBox 13.3, Faculty Exchange, and theoffender will be visited by the clan andwarned on the first offen.se or will bepunished in some manner which willnot interfere with his college careerbut will tend to bring to an end thedishonorable practices which cau.sedthe visit. We wish every student inthe University would stand behind usin this movement to make the honorsentiment a fact instead of a theoryat Chicago. Our work will be effectivebut not as drastic as that of the Hon¬or commission.”(Signed) THE COMMITTEE.The clan has been in the process offormation for several months and ex¬pects to do active work during thecoming examination period. Both menand women are included so that wo¬man offenders may be warned by theirown sex. The membership of “TheCommittee,” while secret, is known toconsist of students prominent on thecampus.Blinks Sets NationalSwim Record For220 Yards Tryouts for the cast and chorus of“The Machinations of Max,” 1921Blackfriar show, will begin Monday,March 28, and continue during thenext two weeks, according to an an¬nouncement by the staff yesterday.Final selections will not be made untilthe arrival of Mr. Hamilton Coleman,who will produce the show, on April 4.All University men are eligible forpart.s in either cast or chorus, provid¬ed they have fulfilled the customaryrccjuii'cments for public appearance.The.se include at least two quartersresidence with satisfactory average, P.C. credit, and passing grade duringthe current quarter. P. C. credit isgiven during the time spent in re¬hearsals.Desire Many Candidates“We hope to have a large number ofmen out for the cast this year,” AllenHolloway, manager, said yesterday.“There are a number of fine partswhich offer opportunities for men ofability. The comedy parts are espe¬cially good, and we are looking formen with specialties of their own,such as ability to play some in.stru-ment, do eccentric dances, and thelike.“I should like to urge every man inthe University who is interested to tryout for the cast or chorus of the show.It is not necessary to have experienceor unusual ability, because we have adirector who can develop actors outof mummies.Choru.s Men Must Work“Men who do not feel that they havequalifications for a cast part are urgedto come out for the chorus,” he con¬tinued. “The principal requirementsfor a choiois man under Mr. Coleman’sdirection are earnestness and hardwork. Regular attendance is morenecessary than a Caruso voice or TedLewis feet.“Along this line, 1 should like tourge men wi.shing to go out for theshow to arrange their programs so asto leave the hours from 3 to 6 free.Another point to watch is eligibility.The Friars have lost many good menthrough the ineligibility route. Gymcredit is necessary as well as fulfillingthe scholastic requirements.”Applicants Asked to EnrollAll men who intend to compete foreither cast or chorus and who havenot already done so have been askedto notify the chorusmaster throughBox 286, Faculty Exchange, givingname, address. University address andphone, fraternity, if any, any special¬ties that might be worked into theshow, and year in college.One more national intercollegiateswimming record was added to theimposing list of speed marks held byChicago tank stars when EdwardBlinks, swimming in the Wisconsin- Chicago dual meet Saturday, covered220 yards in 2:30 a, full second fasterthan the time established hy ,T. D.Cross of Princeton in 1914. Blinks’additional victories in the 100, with arew westem intercollegiate time of:66 4-6 and in the 40 contributedlargely to Chicago’s overwhelmingscore, 46 to 22, CEDAR RAPIDS WINSTHIRD ANNUAL PREPBASKET TOURNAMENTW. Lafayette, Ind., Second;Waterbury, Conn., Third;Lane Tech,, Fourth FACULTY APPROVES PLANFOR SIX QUARTERS’ WORKSTAR ATHLETES PARTICIPATE Confirmation by University Senate Is Last Step inAdoption—New System Would UseGrade Points and Majors forP. C. CoursesCedar Rapids, by decisively defeat¬ing West Lafayette 43-i9 Saturdaynight, captured the championship ofthe Third Annual National Inter¬scholastic Basketball tournament ofthe University, held in Bartlett gym¬nasium, Thursday, Friday and Satur¬day, West Lafayette took secondplace; Crosby High of Waterbury,Conn., third place; and Lane Tech ofChicago, fourth place.A cla.ssy field of .sixteen teams,chosen from eleven states in theUnion, started the preliminary roundThursday. Some hotly contested strug¬gles were staged in the first vound ofthe semi-finals, and when the smokecleared away, but four crack quintetsremained in the title battle.W. Lafayette Beats LaneBoth of the second semi-final con¬tests were fought all the way, withthe teams evenly matched. We.stLafayette knocked oflF Lane Tech bythree points, winning 21-19, and CedarRapids had a hard time nosing outCro.sby 25i24.Saturday night at 8 the battle todecide third and fourth place wasstaged between Crosby High and LaneTech, with the Connecticut team win¬ning after a tough fight 26-21. Inthe game for the championship. CedarRapids had no trouble in tramplingon the West Lafayette quintet. Thebattle was hot for a while in the firsthalf, but the Iowa team graduallydrew away from the Hoosiers, and ledat the half 21-9. The second half wasa walkaway with the Cedar Rapidsmen scoring at will. The game ended43-19.Rig Ten Officials RefereeThree Big Ten referees officiatedthe contests of the tourney, and as aresult the games went off in fine style,with no mixups and controveries be¬cause of the decisions. Schommer,Reynolds and Keatms alternated atthe officiating jobs and kept closewatch on the prep athletes.Prize awards were made after thefinish of the title game by AssistantCoach Fred Walker, Silver cups werepresented to the team finishing first,scond and third in the toutmey. Inaddition, gold Elgin watches wereawarded the members of the victor¬ious Cedar Rapids team; gold basket¬ball watch charms were presented tothe members of the West Lafayetteteam for finishing second; silver bas¬ketball watch charms were presentedto the Crosby players for taking thirdplace, and golden bronze medals wereawarded the Lane athletes for captur¬ing fourth position.PROFESSOR BURNHAM OFASTRONOMY FAME. DEADThe flag flew at half mast today inmemory of Prof. Sherburne W. Bum-ham, one of the most noted of Amer¬ican astronomers, who died Saturdayat his home at 4814 Forre.stville ave¬nue, at the age of 83. His death washastened by a fall he suffered threeweek.s ago. Five Men, Three WomenElected to PhiBeta KappaFive womenbeen elected toReorder’s officeOf these eight and throe men havePhi Beta Kappa, theannounced yesterday,students, five receivethe honor for 27 majors work. Theyare:Charles Albert Beckwith, MarthaJane McCoy, Olive Henrietta Rabe,Milton Steinberg, and Zok TsungWank.Tho.se who have received Phi BetaKappa for four years’ work are:Ina Bartells, Cecile Winifred Dore,and Benjamin Wilbur Goldman.A possibility that the University authorities may make substantialchanges in the Physical Culture requirement for undergraduates, to con¬form to general student sentiment, became apparent yesterday with theannouncement that the faculty had approved a two year gym plan. Theonly step i-emaining is confirmation by the University Senate, consisting ofthe President and all professors of full rank in the University.The report as submitted to the faculty of Arts, Literature and Science,after having been foraiulated by the committee on physical culture require¬ments, provides for six quarters of gymnasium work in place of ten, as atpresent. The requirement for graduation with the Bachelor’s degree is tobe 39 majors and 78 grade points, ofwhich six half majors and six gradepoints “shall consist of satisfaction ofa health requirement during six quar¬ters.”Must Take Health ExamsUnder satisfaction of the health re¬quirement the following points areincluded: (a) Good physical conditionas shown by a physical and medicalexamination; a health record, includ¬ing helth habits as well as freedomfrom illness; observation of health of¬ficers, gym instructors, instructors inother departments, heads of houses,and dean, (b) Satisfactory completionof a course in personal hygiene dur¬ing one quarter of the Freshman year,to be a pai-t of the gym for that quar¬ter.(c) Satisfactory completion ofcourses in physical education duringsix quarters; such courses to be ar¬ranged by the department and adapt¬ed to the needs of individuals; suchcourses normally to be four periodsof exercise each week; for suchcourses, when it seems advisable tothe dpartmeent and the medical exam¬iners, special work or rest to be sub¬stituted, as is now the practice.Grade Points for Gym(d) Satisfactory completion ofcourses in physical culture will bemeasured by the system in use in otherdepartments, the number of gradepoints being determined by (a) and(b) above, by attendance and by qual¬ity of work, earnestness and intelli¬gence, and when practicable a test atthe end of the course.In addition to the health require¬ment all students in the Colleges ofArts, Literature and Science must beregistered quartrly for health super¬vision under the direction of the de¬partments. In the Senior colleges stu¬dents who have completed the sixquarter requirement and whose healthwarrants will be exempted from fur¬ther work, notice of exemption beinggiven each quarter.Not Counted for HonorsAll P. C. work during the Summerquarter is to be voluntary. Unclassi¬fied students are to be exempt fromthe requirement. If approved, theplan is to go into effect with the Aut¬umn quarter, 1921, and will be retro¬active. The number of majors re¬quired for the degree shall be reducedfor students excused from the P. C.requirements, corresponding with theamount of work from which the stu¬dent is excused.Grade points and majors received(Continued on Page 3)Graduating SeniorsCan Get Class JewelrySenior pins and rings are ready fordistribution. All the upper classmenwho are graduating and leaving townand who have ordered class jewelrycan get it after 2 from the middlecounter of the Bookstore.The gold pins (14 carat) are readyfor immediate scale at $2.25 a piece.Plain gold rings (“C 21”) hammeredgold rings, plain and hammered sil¬ver and heavy faceted gold rings asper sample sho^vn may be ordered atthe following prices: $5.50, $5.50,$3.50, $3.50 and $6 respectively.HARVARD CLUB OFFERSSCHOLARSHIP FOR YEARA .scholarship of $300 at HarvardUniversity during one year’s study inthe Graduate Schools, is offered bythe Harvard Club of Chicago to aproperly qualified graduate of an Illi¬nois University or College.In awarding this scholarship, theschola.stic attainments of the appli¬cants as shown hy their college rec¬ords, and also their character, needsand general development will be con¬sidered. Application should be madein writing to the Secretary of theScholarship Committee, The HarvarrtClub of Chicago, not later than AprilIst.2 THE DAILY MAROON, TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 1921Satly ^arnonThe Student Newspaper of theUniversity of ChicagoPsbiwhad morninai, except Saturday, Sundayand Menday during th« Autumn, Winter andSpring quarters, by The Daily MaroonCoeapaay.Baternd as second claaa mail at the Chi-cage peeteAoe, Chicago, Illineis, March 13,190i, under the act of March 3, 1873,Offlcea EHis 14;Telephone Midway 800Tuesday, March 15, 1921.GYMWe hope this is the next to the lasteditorial we write with the succincttitle you see above and have seen sooften. We hope that the UniversitySenate sees fit to approve the pro¬gram for a new plan of P. C. whichhas been passed by the committee onP. C. requirements and by the Artsand Lits Faculty. The new plan isa surprisingly complete and satisfac¬tory solution of the situation. W’henput in effect ever>’ student should backit up. FRANK BROTHERSFifth Avenue Ek>ot ShopNear Forty-Eighth Street, New YorkBoots .Slippers, Hosiery for Men,Women and Childrenr^Ll AO M'*^*****" Boulevard BuildingComer Waahington St.HEW HAVENHotel TaftPITTSBURGHJenkins ArcadeCLEVELAND BOSTONLittle BuildingSAN FRANCISCOWhitney Buildingopp. Shoreham Hota Athletic Club Bldg. 133 Geary StreetAS FOR THE RESTThis is the last Maroon of the quar¬ter. Being a commercial sheet, theadvertising department throttles anyeditorial desires we may have had andlack of space controls our thoughts.BUT—Keep off the grass. COMECLEAN in the exams and give thisnew secret clan no work to do (but ifyou see a case of dishonesty don’tfail to report it), enjoy your vacationand come back to school next quarterdetermined to make it the best quar¬ter of your career, see that all yourfriends subscribe to the Max’oon, andthink constructively so that you canhelp the Undergraduate council, TheDaily Maroon, and all the otherforces on the campus make for agreater University of Chicago. Your Parentshave invested thousands of dol¬lars in you already and are in¬creasing that investment dailyright now to complete your edu¬cation so that you may beequipped in a manner that willassure your success in life.PROTECT THEMagainst the loss of their invest¬ment in you by your prematuredeath before you have realizedon the investment.INSURE YOUR LIFEADDRESS OR PHONEC. C. WHITEHILL30 N. La Salle Cent. 5507 LEARN TODANCENOW FROM EXPERTS ATSHEEHY’S DANCING STUDIO(i2nid Street at Cottage Grove AvenuePrivate Lessons 10 A. M. to 10 P. M.PUBLIC CLASS MONDAY EVEMiss J. Kelleher .Miss .M. BirminghamTho« M. .Sheehy Miss I). SpringPhone Went. 230ikYi k\"i t', / >\'7 k\'i ti'v kVYii' ,' f>\ '. '.'i\, iYi^'hYi ii\, »v COWHEY’SStore for MenMen’s Furnishings, Hats, Caps andNeckwearBILUARDSCIGARS—CIGARETTES—PIPESSoutheast corner 55th and Ellis Ava.A SHORTERSHORTHAND SYSTEMIN TEN EASY LESSONSThis course covers ten easy lessonswhich will enable the Student, Pro¬fessor, Journalist, Doctor, Lawyer oranyone seeking a professional careerto go through life with 100 per centefficiency.THIS COURSEIs short and inexpensive, and isgiven with a money back guaranteeif not satisfied.SEND THIS CLIPPING TODAY'PYRAMID PRESS, PUBLISHERS1416 Brodawy,New Y'ork CityGentlemen: Enclosed herewith is$5.00 for which kindly send meyour shorthand course in ten easylessons by mail. It is understoodthat at the end of five days, I amnot satisfied my money will begladly refunded.NameStreetCity and StateE. G. SCHUMAKER’SBARBER SHOP1456 E. 57th St.(Near Blackstone)MANICURINGPhone Dorchester 3506 iouJilaum%xusX anil§>anin00 lankMrmbrr jVrbrral Rrarror ^yatrmUSonliilaain Attrnueat &ixta-ttjirbNrarrat Hank to ti|rHniupraity uf (Eliiragn/. 'f A M y AAf ' ,V_f 'iAEMUSPENCILS'C’OR the student or prof.,the superb VENUS out¬rivals all for perfect pencilwork. 17 blacK3 copying. degrees andAmerican Ix^adPencil Co.215 Fifth Ave.New Yorki D«pl.D-10^YOU HAVE WRITTEN POEMS!Do you care to have them revised orconstructively criticised by successfulauthors? If you do, then send u.s yourmanuscripts (stories, articles orpoems). We will cnticise, and placethem should they prove to he accept¬able for publication.There is no actual charge for ourservices. If, however, you have notpreviously enrolled with the advisory<lepartment of this association, we re¬quest that you enclose the initial feeof two dollars, which we must ask ofeacli new contributor. There is noa<lditional expense, no future obliga¬tion.It must he realized that we can onlybe of aid to those of serious intent. Ifyou <lo mean to strive for literary suc¬cess. we can help you in many ways.Our services arc yours until we haveactually succeeded in marketing atleast one of your manuscripts. Sendsomething today!Please enclose return postage withyour communications.NATIONAL LITER.\RYAS.SOCr \T10N131 W. .30th St.New York City.Vdvi orv Department YOU’LL BESURPRISEDat theMODERATE PRICEOF THE HIGH GRADECLASS PIPESAny Class YearON DISPLAY31 HITCHCOCK HALL We want you to seethese great values inBROGUESSaleEnds NextSaturdayOnly one of the many examples of intensivevalue-giving in our shoe section, not only in qual¬ity of leather and correct style but in comfort¬giving features, Hub shoes justify a preference.Other hne values at $5.85, $6.85, $7.85, $9.85Hennj CLytton U SonsState and Jackson—on the N. E. CornerTelephone Hyde Park 9667SWEDISH MEDICAL GYMNASTICSAND MASSAGEDavid J. Bogie, DirectorGraduate of Stockholm, Sweden1504 EAST 53RD STREETCor, Harper Ave.Best of References— Hours—Dr. A. J. Ochsner 2-4 7-8 P. M. LOUISE BEAUTY SHOP1449 EA.ST 60th ST.Midway 6870DINE AM) DANCETHE GOLDEN LILY.5.5th .St. at the “L”MUSIC PROGRAMDinner Time 6:00-8:00Evening Supper _9:30-l:00.Sunday Tea 2:00-5:00American and Chinese .Service “LUCIA HENDERSHOT”Private Dancing Ii«flsonaIn a course of five lessons onecan acquire the steps of the waits,one-step and forx-trotSpecial (Jass Mon. Eves.1541 E. 57th St. Hyde Park 2S14 DELICtpUS ind 'V !rEESHING* Like a long putt thatgoes straight home,Coca-Cola reaches thirstevery time.The Coca-Cola CompanyATLANTA. OA.M ANICURING SHAMPOOING iKENNEDY SHOPS 1MARCEL WAVING i1211 E. ri5th St. 1155 E. 63rd St.Midway 3081 Hyde Park 204.3 1.Student Rate at 55th St. Shop |THE DAILY MAROON. TUESDAY, MARCH 15. 1921NEED ONLY FINALO.K. FOR GYM CUT(Continued from fyige 1) dents admitted with advanced stand¬ing the requirement will be cancelledto the extent of one-half major foreach three majors of advanced stand¬ing.for P. C. work are not to be countedin considering eligibility for scholastichonors, such as Phi Beta Kappa, hon¬or scholarships, and the like. For stu- Subscribe for The Maroon !(In view of the fact that the com¬munication column of The Daily Ma¬roon is maintained as a clearing housefor student and faculty opinion, TheDaily Maroon accepts no responsi¬bility for the sentiments therein ex¬pressed. Communications are wel¬comed by the editor, and should besigned as an evidence of good faith,although the name will not be pub¬lished without the writer’s consent.)To the Editor:At last we have that rare quantity,a woman who admits that men aresuperior to women—a college womanat that! Hurray for us. Women, soMiss Hess states in Friday’s Vox Pop,is what men make ’em, and it is upto we men to get busy and refom ourwayward sisters. Shades of CarrieNation!There are certain fundamental prop¬ositions which Miss Hess brings upvery frankly, that have a ring oftruth in them. It is true that womentake up many of their little tricks toplease men, but Miss Hess ignores thefact that women are masters of theirown destiny and cannot pass the buckto the men when they go to hell. “Thewoman pays” as the movie tells us,when she strays from the paths ofrectitude, but so do the men.It is only too true that men, at leasta proportion of men, will applaud agirl who wears ultra-decollete gowns,laugh when she tells questionablestories, and pay her the tribute of abackward glance when she displaysmore than the conventional amount ofher charms. But this does not meanthat the men are to blame. Sex issex, especially the male sex. You can’tblame a duck for going to water whenthe opportunity offers.However, having proven that themen are blameless, w’e are still will¬ing to accept Miss Hess’s challenge.Join with me, brothers, in a pledgefor the reformation of the blackslid-ing fair sex. The Society for the En¬couragement of Female Demurenessis hereby organized. All members willtake the following oath:“I hereby promise never to give oroffer to any member of the femalesex any cigars, cigarettes or chewingtobacco; any hootch, moonshine, homebrew, or Sloan’s liniment; further,that I will always look the other waywhen I observe one of the said sexamounting a street car step, or mak¬ing her way across campus on a windyday; further, that I will take off mycoat and drape it about the knees ofmy dance partner when ever I see thatshe displays more than two inches ofhosiery in cro.ssing her legs. All thisI promise in the name of Women’sRights and Women’s Equality, so helpme Henry.”HARRY BIRD, Jr.Bootblack Has New PlanJoe, the Reynolds club bootblack,has a new plan for reducing the highcost of living on the campus. He has.started a “shine” club, the membersof which pay 25 cents at the begin¬ning of the quarter, and receive shinesfor 6 cents thereaHer as often as isdesired.Beginner's Dancing ClassTonightAnd Every Tuesday and SaturdayNight 8:00-9:00 atCALUMET HALL6.3rd and Stony Island Ave.DANCING 9:00-12:00Dancing Every Sunday Evening8:00-11:.30ALSO NOVELTY ORCHESTRAManagement—Teresa Dolan Ben F. Smitzdorf“We Always SellFor Less”Come and see our Easter showingof Coats, Suits, Skirts and DressesJ.J.GIBS921 East 63d Street Williams Candy ShopCor. 55th and University Ave.Highest Grade Candies and Ice CreamFancy Sundaes Our SpecialtyTry Our Light LuncheonsServed Daily for University Students ' 'f Mf 4'f‘'.'I If ■'f •Educate your taste:4 Milk Nougat5c Bar 5c—say“Bikes"rk\ 7 i>\'/ iY'dVfim kvlk The Turkish Cf|(arec-c,eComplete Intensive Stenographic CourseThe next complete stenographic three months’ coursewill begin April 4, 1921. Only college graduates or un¬dergraduates are eligible.An unusual opportunity is afforded by this intensivecourse to get a complete stenographic training in threemonths.The environment of the MOSER SHORTHAND COL¬LEGE is appealing to the college student—only highschool graduates are enrolled.Bulletin on request; no solicitors employed.Moser Shorthand CollegeEnrolling Only High School Graduates12th Floor. Lake View Bldg., 116 S. Michigan AvecPhone Randolph 4347 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS We go 6000 miles for theTurkish tobaccoused in Murad—Why?Because—Turkish has a taste—Turkish has amildness—Turkish has a delight—far beyond allcigarette tobaccos of all other lands—Murad gives you real enjoyment, and truedelight such as no Tobacco other than 100% PureTurkish Tobacco can give.Facts—Facts—FACTS—!Tens of thousands of smokers—tens of thousands of times—have PROVEN this —**Judge for Yourself—!**20^smlht^XbrUt.'"Vf A'Vf .6V! .A'V'l /"V!FAIR CO EDSwishing to enter their pictures in theBeauty Contest ofTHE CHICAGO TRIBUNEare invited to aSitting on ApprovalatDAGUERRE STUDIO218 so. WABASH AVE.McClurg Bldg.Hours for Sittings:W«ek Days 9-5i:-0l TelephoneWabash 527for Appointments Worthy to go with youor your card—Your quality—the famous Whitman’sChocolates. Your seal-embossed on thebox. Your colors—the package tied withcollege ribbon.For Sale byUniversity of Chicago Bookstore, 5802 Ellis Ave.Blackstone Pharmacy, 1438 E. 57th St.Al. Nordling, 933 E. 55th St.McAnany & Finnegan, 1201 E. 55th St.Drexel Pharmacy, 933 E. 55th St.Walgreens, 55th CornellWalgreens, 871 E. 63rd St.Prendergast & Keefrey, 1201 E. 63rd St.Amphlett & Karmsen, 63rd &. Stony Island Ave.Miller Drug Store, 1334 E. 63rd St.University Pharmacy, 6059 Ellis Ave.4 THE DAILY MARCX)N. TUESDAY. MARCH 15, 1921It may 1)*' thaiiipatruf on the nightbefore, |But permit us to give you this warn-1ing;A pain that is real will be waiting foryouWhen you roll out of bed in the morn¬ing.A contrib, in an exceptionally edify¬ing communication, discourses atlength concerning the reasons why ad¬vertising companies have not placedposters on the inside of taxi cabs,T’ersons riding in cabs are not to beannoyed with advertisements, hewrites.The facetious Don Llewellym sug¬gests that the bird who patented ga¬loshes was evidently boim in Venice.Superstitious persons, we under¬stand, never allow “The Sextette fromLucia” to be played at w’eddings.Speaking of weddings, reminds usof the time honored toast, “Here’s tomy mother-in-law. May she spend aweek on each of the Thousand Is¬lands.”Yesterday we heard a chap ravingabout the pulchritude of Davenportgirls, and we’ve been wondeinng eversince if he was referring to Iowa.Open wide the doors of the Acad¬emy of Modern Martyrs to the gentwho absent mindedly tries to blowthe foam off a charlotte russe at a for¬mal Open ’em wider if he’s with thedaughter of a prohibitionist.The problem before us, ladies andgentlemen, is w’hat to say to the in¬quisitive little girl who asks if peoplemean roundhouses when they speakof railroad circles.Among other important announce¬ments from W'ashington, is a di.spatchtelling of the appointment of the fa¬mous safety pin for secret service. Commission Cliecks ReadyRobert Adler announces that thereare >everal commission checks re¬maining in his desk at the office ofthe Cap and down for the solicitorsof subscriptions. The slips will beheld until tonight for those who havefailed to claim them. If you thinkthere is one for you, collect beforeclosing time.VARSITY TRACKMKV DRORTHIRD CONSKt I TIVE MKKTChicago ran into its third track de¬feat of the season when it encounteredOhio State at Columbus, tumblingUNIVERSITY STUDENTSReceive Courteous Attention atThe Frolic Theatre Drug StoreCigaretes Fountain ServingCor. Ellis Ave. and 65th Street(Adjacent to Frolic Eheatre)Telephone Hyde Park 761MADLSOX PARK HOTELBARBER SHOPFor Artistic HaircuttingPhone A. M. NAURKen. 4.300Make Your ApixiintmentsMERIT CAFETERIA1101 E. 63rd St., Corner GreenwoodConvenient to the UniversityYou see your food before orderingA large variety of vegetables andmeatHorae cooking our specialtyHome made PastryCLASSI F E D ADSWANTED—Threegood appearance girl students ofto do special workin city. Attractive, w’ell paying po¬sition for those who qualify. Room1208 So. Dearbom St. Mr. Woodard. 40^ to 54H The track w’as in very,poor condition, making all the ‘times’;slow.Dr. Clair H. PritchardOPTISTEyes Examined. Glass Prescribed andFittedFor Appointment Phone Fairfax 1514Residence Phone, Englewood 7933Office Hours, 9 a. m. to 6 p. m.Suite 1, 1157 E. 63rd Streetat University Ave.University students wanted tosell rowboat motors now and dur¬ing vacation. Can be handled on !the side if desired. Best opportun- !ity for tho>e who will be in or nearsummer resorts. Commission is lib¬eral. Highest grade rowboat motor jmanufacture<!. Direct factory su- !I)ervision and sales instruction. |The C'aille Perfection .Motor Co., 'Detroit, .Mich.Sure enough., -die old Bus'wen.4; Bade on. xne♦' IT WAS a whale.OF A lull, and tho old bus.GROANED yM'.iD ; .. r«‘d.I « . .’,ND FINALLY st.;:: d..ND YOU could fry .' rN THE r.uLdor.EXAMS OVER?TryHARPER HALL53rd and Harper AvenueFor A Snappy EveningwithPeople and Music You KNOWDancingTuesday Thru Saturday Evenings, Inclusivell'it/i at/xiioxclrili/iiicnts to K. C. B.With the announcement that Claire,Gubbins, and Witzleben will throwthe annual May dance on April 30 atRosalie, comes the equally thrillingnews that Prof. Parker will e.scort hisclass to the crawl for the purpose ofTeaming a bit of the law’s of perpet¬ual motion.SCOOP.Final ExaminationSchedule AnnouncedThe schedule for examinations forthe winter quarter is as follows;8 o’clock classes—March 17, 8 to 10.9 o’clock classes—March 18, 8 to 10.10 o’clock classe.s—March 16, 8 to 1011 o’clock classes—March 16, 2:30to 4:30.1;,30 classes—March 17, 11 to 1.2:30 classes—March 18, 11 to 1.3:30 clas.ses—March 17, 2;.30 to 4:304:30 classes—March 16, 11 to 1.MRS. T. W. GOODSPEEDIS TAKEN BY DEATHMrs. Thomas W Goodspeed, wife ofDr. T. W. Goodspeed, correspondingsecretary of the Board of Trustees ofthe Rockefeller Foundation, died Sun¬day at her home, 5765 Blackstone ave¬nue. Mrs. Goodspeed was 76 years ofage. Funeral services will be held atthe home today at 2. Interment willbe private at the Mount Hope ceme-tery.The Corn ExchangeNational BankOF CHICAGOCapital, $5,000,000Surplus & Profits, $10,000,000Is the Largest National Rank in theUNITED STATERWith a Savings DepartmentUnder Fedreal SupervisionN, W. ('or. La Salle and Adams Sts.Bring Your Savings To UsOpen Saturday Even'g.s until 8 o’clock 3 ROOMS and a kitchenette, well fur¬nished and lighted. Pick your roomor rooms. 5800 Maryland Ave. Dor.9549, Proebstel.LOST—Pair of shell rimmed glasses,Wednesday. Identify by Elgin, Ill.,on case. Return to R. Tauscher,5824 Woodlaw’n. Rew’ard.f'OR RENT—Two rooms for girlsonly. 6025 Kenwood, 2nd apart.,Mrs. L. Clark.LOST—Horn rimmed spectacles onUniversity between 59th and 62nd,some time Sunday morning. Returnto Caroline Howard, Kelly Hall.LOST—T. B. pin. Gold arrow, withpearls in shaft. Please return to E.Kohl or to the Information Bureau.HARPERH«rp«r Av*. atSSd St.—Mat. DailyBxclaaiTa Hyde Park BhowinfFRIDAY, MARCH llthWILL ROGERS in“GUILE OF WOMEN”SATURDAY, MARCH 12th.FAMES OLIVER CURWOOD’S“ISOBEL” or“THE TRAIL’S END”SUNDAY, MARCH 1.3thPAULINE FREDERICKin‘THE MISTRESS OFSHEN.STONE”-Also Latest Sunshine Comedy“A VIRTUOUS HUSHAND”Matinee Attraction In pr.cka£,^s nf 20 prniactadby npacial moisturn-proc.fwrapper. Also in roundAJR -TIGHT tins cf 50. ^ WELL, WHAT I Lnow.A30UT DULL wiiKons.COULD DE written bigON A i)osf..,"e stamp.« • «OUT I lid.;’. (1 around.AND TORE I ;• r.’".’ shirt.AND COT ; '1 s n; r 1 up.THE ENC.iLT. v ’. s'.urt.CUT LILLIE v.ouldn’t.r;OT ON that hill.CO I (luit and Id up.ONE OF r.'.y tngarettes./.ND TH0UC:-:T ; over.THEN I ha.' a h.aneli.PUSHED KLL around.PULLED A Ihing-a-ma-jiK.« « «.AND THE 1 boat.PACKED UP l’..e hill.* » •WITHOUT EVEN hi .dilating.GO I learned a trick.WHICH EVERY driver,SHOULD REMEMBER.WHEN I.N (’ouhf, light up.A "GATICPY” cigarette.FOR WITH one cf those.GEARED TO your t'-i'lh.j YOU CAN start anything.• « # IT Like liiUiii ),irsua-sion to gel Ciie.sterlieldsgoing — tiiey’re h» li'-starters.That blend of lino'i'urkii h andDoin '..tic t bucco:: r..akc;irrienda 1 y the millions. An¬ther thing—you don’t find aC’hesterlielil smoker “shifting”brands—he’s in “high” ell thetime.